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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like people assume if you're wealthy, successful etc people assume you can't have problems?

159 replies

MyLilacGoose · 28/12/2024 12:20

I had a very challenging childhood, NC with parents, suffer from depression for which I take medication for. Most people will respond to this with sympathy and kindness if they don't know anything else.

If people know I'm an attractive multimillionaire who married another attractive multimillionaire? Entitled, detached, you have no real problems etc. They don't always say it to your face but they regularly say it behind your back, and they don't realise they are no less privileged if they compare themselves to those in the developing world i.e. most people.

One of my closest friends is even wealthier but came from a very elite background and had it far worse yet gets even less sympathy because she was born rich and she obviously isn't going to go around explaining the painful details. You can tell it bothers her as well.

AIBU?
Edit: sorry about the poorly worded title.

OP posts:
NobleDeeds · 28/12/2024 12:28

MyLilacGoose · 28/12/2024 12:23

You see it on mumsnet or other forums. Famous person is experiencing MH problems in news, it gets posted and all sorts of nasty things get said.

Obviously I'm not always aware when people say this stuff about me and I rarely open up to friends, but I know if I did open up to people more this is what would happen.

Show quote history

So no one that you know of is in fact saying that attractive millionaires have no problems, either behind your back or to your face?

I think that you’ve just proved the opposite of the point you thought you were making — this post suggests your problems are trivial and/or imaginary.

Chicklebee74 · 28/12/2024 12:26

I don’t think wealthy successful people don’t have problems. I think they have some of the same problems as everyone else but the money gives them access to more solutions. I think it’s easier to be depressed and not have to worry about how you’re going to feed your kids and keep them warm than it is to be depressed and also have those worries on top.

Original poster
MyLilacGoose · 28/12/2024 12:26

Annabella92 · 28/12/2024 12:22

Money buys options. This affords far greater freedom than those who are trapped in unfavourable circumstances.

A beautiful millionaire has more agency.

There is no freedom or escape if your mind is completely fucked, which mine is.

It's different to financial poverty but no less awful.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 28/12/2024 12:25

I also have money, and I think it’s broadly more difficult to have persistent problems when you have the money and means to be able to do something about them. I don’t have a lot of time generally for adults whinging about fairly mediocre shit that happened when they were children anyway, but even less so for people who can buy the world’s best therapy to help them through it. I suspect a lot of people feel likewise. If you regularly complain about stuff to friends who have many of your problems plus ones they can’t buy their way out of, you’re going to come across as tone deaf.

spoonfulofsugar1 · 28/12/2024 12:24

You can have problems, but they arent to the extent of worrying about feeding your children or keeping the house warm. The basics of living. Money does mean that many of your problems can be solved?
And its absolutely tone deaf of you and yout friend to be bothered that you don't get sympathy.

Original poster
MyLilacGoose · 28/12/2024 12:23

NobleDeeds · 28/12/2024 12:21

Who is ‘regularly saying it behind your back’?

You see it on mumsnet or other forums. Famous person is experiencing MH problems in news, it gets posted and all sorts of nasty things get said.

Obviously I'm not always aware when people say this stuff about me and I rarely open up to friends, but I know if I did open up to people more this is what would happen.

OP posts:
Annabella92 · 28/12/2024 12:23

I don't really understand what this post is sbout though...

Annabella92 · 28/12/2024 12:22

Money buys options. This affords far greater freedom than those who are trapped in unfavourable circumstances.

A beautiful millionaire has more agency.

NobleDeeds · 28/12/2024 12:21

Who is ‘regularly saying it behind your back’?

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