To feel like people assume if you're wealthy, successful etc people assume you can't have problems?

I have money and I get it that it lifts us out of the day to day hell that is the current state of life for a lot of (the majority even?) people. I absolutely agree that money gives us so many choices ie I have a cleaner so I can take care of my mum (which means I don't rely on council funded carers), I can bulk buy (a bug bear of mine is that people who need those prices can't get them), that I have a car to visit the people I love etc etc.

However we are still humans and suffer from all the human vulnerabilities - accidents, mental health issues, physical health issues, abuse, neglect, crime etc. our feelings are just as valid.

I'm fed up also of people taking a cheap pop at rich people just because they worked hard/got lucky etc. it's like our money isn't as valuable as theirs so tradesmen/profiteers can rip us off. I also agree OP that in comparison with the global population, most people in the UK live a better quality of life. Some people's attitude towards it is abysmal. Their life is the aspiration of so many people globally. That's why so many seek refuge here. Because the worst of it here is far better than what they have.

But I also despair of those people who genuinely feel that everyone can get rich if they just got off their backs and started being brilliant like they are. Life just doesn't work that way. For every winner in life there are a lot of losers and need for social conscience has never been more apparent.

You've put this so much better than I ever could. No amount of money can change the fact that my brain just hasn't developed normally yet it seems like most people don't appreciate this at all.

Have you tried therapy and/or counselling?

I’m rich and have problems and of course money helps.

My DS has a medical condition, our private health won’t cover it any more so I stayed with the consultant and paid, it wasn’t a thing. It took away the worry of waiting months for him to be seen, I still have the problem but it’s not as bad as it could be.

I wonder if because we live in such a superficial, materialistic society, that contributes to the attitude of assuming as long as you have money, you're fine.

But its not either or, some people have neither.

A better question would be would you rather have no parents and be poor as an adult or have no parents and be rich as an adult

I think the difference is that money can buy solutions and money will prevent you from having very basic problems ie you'll never be worried about your children starving, you won't worry about losing your home or defaulting on your mortgage.

To give an example from my life (and I also come from a very wealthy family...) I struggled to conceive. Each IVF cycle was very worrying in that I wanted to make more embryos and hoped they were genetically normal. But I knew I could afford IVF whether it's 1 cycle or 10. Someone poorer would maybe only have 1 shot max, and even then 10-15K extra spending would affect most people's lifestyles. So it takes your worrying to a more minor level.

Obviously you have problems, everyone does. But you have the ability to buy solutions that a poor person doesn't.

Every problem I have could be solved by money. I'm trapped in the house all the time because I can't afford a new wheelchair. My allergies flare up because I can't physically keep the house clean enough to keep away dust mites but I can't afford a cleaner. I can't make fresh healthy food as my wheelchair doesn't fit in the kitchen which makes my other conditions worse etc.

You have the ability to hire the best therapists, outsource labour so you have more free time to focus on healing and living a healthier lifestyle to recover from your trauma. Yes you still have problems but you also have a hell of a lot more tools in your toolbox to deal with them and still live a full life.

Now your wealthy you have the time and privilege to dwell on mental and emotional problems from your past. I doubt you’ll get any sympathy from the ones still in poverty, they’ll probably think you’re a bit greedy for wanting that as well as the money. They don’t have time to give it to you because they’re poor.

I agree with you op, and I'm not rich. Money and therapy don't magically restore you're childhood to a healthy one or undue abuse. Your brain had developed in a certain way. Also, money can actually harm relationships and make it harder for you to discern who is genuine or who is using you.

There can actually be a lowering of happiness level after a certain amount of wealth. Wealthy people may have less of a sense of community as they don't have to rely on one another as they can just pay people to help them.

If it helps, @Comedycook, I often feel very sorry for you, based on your posts on here.

This, really.

I'm sorry about your parents - mine were the same. I grew up in poverty with physically and emotionally abusive parents and was forced to leave at 16 so slept outside for a few months. I've had no contact with either parent since, nor my sisters, who I fought to go into care so they didn't have the childhood that I did.

If you can look at it from a detached point of view, you must see that you have greater options? You likely don't have to work; even if you chose to. You have money for endless amounts of therapy. You can try lots of different activities to make new friends, which you may need! You can leave the UK, if you want to.

I'm not at all saying that your money means you don't have problems, but the money means the problems are largely solvable to a much greater degree than they would be if you didn't have it.

People who have similar challenges but less money can't pay for professional help or adaptations so yes you will get less sympathy. Having a fairly crappy childhood and having depression is pretty commonplace plus it kind of depends on how else you live your life, if you are commenting before Christmas that your upbringing wasn't good so you cut off your parents but are about to jet off to the Caribbean business class whereas they had an ok but poor (economically speaking) childhood and are struggling caring for elderly parents who can't afford good quality professional care you are unlikely to get sympathy, in the moment they are struggling and money really dies smooth over many of life's problems

But presumably you can pay for doctors/therapists/medications/retreats or inpatient stays that could help?

Im not saying I disagree with you btw. But there’s two sides to the coin. We have very wealthy family members. For some of them (younger gen) their problems are 100% caused by having too much money - they have no drive, no reason to get out of bed in the morning, they spend their time dreaming up new illnesses. One has a gambling problem and keeps being bailed out. For some of them, they have issues (physical) that could have been helped by all the time and money they have and having avoided the issues for years instead of throwing money at it eg with dieticians and personal trainers etc the chickens have now sadly come home to roost and are causing real issues with health that are not so easy to fix. I have limited sympathy in both those cases.

However some of those family members having undergone real and serious stuff that money cannot fix - real health issues, sudden bereavement - that no amount of money can change.

I guess the point of most posters is that a lot of people have to struggle with mental/physical illness on top of money issues and in fact the mental/physical illness can often increase the likelihood of money issues because you can’t work. Or you have to work so hard to put food on the table and keep the lights on you don’t have the time to deal with the medical issues, which can make them worse.

I get this, I grew up in a household with domestic violence and a parent who died from substance abuse. But we had money and went to private school.

Having a safe and loving home is a kind of privilege that not everyone gets to enjoy, regardless of wealth.

We are v wealthy and have friends in a similar position and honestly it drives me nuts when they constantly complain about stuff. I’m like do you realise how lucky you are .. some people have seriously shit lives with the worst luck. Money doesn’t solve all problems but it makes life 99.9% better. I understand why you would want sympathy op but the reality is you are probably looking for it from people who have equal or more problems but they have no money so you are never going to get it 🤷‍♀️

Of course rich people have problems. Being rich doesn't make you exempt from mental health problems, bereavement and ill health. However, it makes it significantly easier to cope and manage with those issues. Affording the luxury of time off, space to clear your head, top quality diet, private treatments/therapies, expensive supplements, the luxury of being able to focus on overcoming your issues without the worries of meeting bills and needing to work all hours.

Doesn't mean i don't have sympathy for rich people's having issues, just i think money is a huge safety net and cushion that many don't have.

I'm sure your mind isn't. Your wealth will ensure you are well insulated from the worst outcomes of poor mental health. Sympathy won't heal you or fix anything. You have choices which could improve your state of mind.

It’s probably more they assume that having the same problems as poorer people doesn’t have quite the same magnitude on every other aspect of your life when you have the comfort of great wealth, and they would be correct really. For example if the problem is because you have so little money you are going to be homeless on Monday morning, a multimillionaire isn’t going to be feeling that one quite the same way because their wealth gives them options other people may not have.

I get it, OP. I'm paraphrasing something I read on here once - some people might be 200 metres underwater, but you're still drowning if you're 2 metres underwater. I don't think anyone's life is perfect and some rich people do have horrendous problems -
some things can be fixed/eased with money but not everything.

I agree with you op. I had a very difficult childhood but we were relatively well off (not millionaire level!) went to private school and had a nice big house...so yep, no sympathy from many!