To feel like people assume if you're wealthy, successful etc people assume you can't have problems?

Sometimes when there is nothing else to worry about then people can start to dwell on other things.

I know a couple of women who don't work because their husbands are wealthy and they seem to be rather self absorbed and talk about their MH a lot more.

I think sometimes having nothing else to worry about can mean that a certain type of person will just find something to dwell on

You’ve got the money to get help for it all though

As others have said, having money sure does help.
I'm not millionaire rich but own my own home mortgage free and have good savings. The freedom this gave me when I could afford to just not work for 6 months due to a breakdown is, for me, an example of how having money gives you choices.

You sound like a bit of a dick to be honest.

My parents are very wealthy. And to act like they've got the same difficulties in life as someone on an average wage is beyond stupid. Which is strange that you can't fathom that.

Yeah. They could get cancer like anyone else. But their private healthcare, not having to worry about money to buy food or losing jobs, no mortgage to try and cover, paying extra nurses to provide care? That's a different life to most people and actually insulting to act like the victim that people might think you've got it easier.

I dated a billionaire for a few years. Only possible because I moved in the circles provided by my parents, of polo circuits, skiing in the right places etc. It wasn't luck that our paths crossed. It was the result of having money and the circumstances and opportunity that provides.

I've had plenty of struggles. But I'm also attractive (let's not play faux naive and think the billionaire was solely after my personality) and had a life with parents with deep pockets. I know I've got away with loads of stuff because I'm "pretty". Well, got away with is probably the wrong phrasing, but so much in life is fickle and based on appearances, and I reaped the benefits of that.

I'm actually very LC with parents because DM is a bully, and very manipulative. It's affected my relationships, my whole life actually. It's a huge problem that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I had their money, but no support. Ended up with an abusive person because I didn't know what healthy boundaries looked like. So my life hasn't been all roses and skittles. But for every one person in my situation, there are a thousand who are dealing with all that shit and money struggles too. I have it far better than them. I find it really crass to insinuate otherwise.

Would I rather have a decent mother? Of course.

Have I come this far, that I just cope with the hand I've been dealt and appreciate the amazing things that I've experienced, that most people never will as a silver lining? Definitely.

I didn't say it would be less painful. It is however, easier to deal with sadness when you don't have necessities to worry about on top.

Yeah, I don't think therapy is a magical fix but if you have money there are options to explore to try and help.

I understand what you mean. I completely have empathy for those who might be wealthy and seemingly ‘have it all’ when there’s actually a lot of pain, trauma and loneliness in their life. I know people in those circumstances but I think what makes it hard sometimes is they complain about things that seemingly don’t relate to the trauma/pain but perhaps are linked to it in some way. For example, one friend whose family relations are really quite messed up was complaining at length how she was ‘broke’ and that week had bought an iPad and expensive handbag. In some ways I really couldn’t understand this (and I know she regularly gets given large sums) but I thought it must be really about something else that’s manifesting as a feeling or lack. She clearly was upset/anxious about something. Anyway, just some thoughts.

My response is likely to be a mish mash of nonsense. Being financially comfortable is a lovely place to be. It means when your mental health is shot, you can afford lovely takeaways and a cleaner to do the things you aren't up to doing. It means you can hire childcare that means you can see a therapist, have the famed spa day that will solve all ills. For me, having a high earning husband means that I can afford things like carpet cleaners when my adult children pee everywhere as they are incontinent, that I can replace furniture as they pee on that too. Noones life is perfect, but money makes it easier

YABU.
My parents divorced when I was 12, my mother is a narcissist, I dropped out of uni but went onto to have a fantastic career. By the time I was 29 I had about £350k in my own right and a very privileged background behind me. I married a man who became very very successful. At 37, we lost a baby when he was a few hours old.

People see the beautiful houses, nice life style, successful children, great careers.

We are in our early to mid 60s now. I would love the relationship with my mother to be better. I don't dwell on it, I can't change it and I don't wear it on my sleeve in real life.

I lost a child. It was devastating and of course I'd give up everything in in a heartbeat to turn back time and conceive a baby who didn't have a congenital heart defect incompatible with life. But I realise that as devastating as it was it would have been ten times worse if we hadn't been able to afford a funeral, if I hadn't been able to have help with childcare the year after he died, if I hadn't had dd 51 weeks later. There is a part of me that knows I wouldn’t have dd if he hadn't died and that seems inconceivable 27 years later.

Money is no replacement for an emotionally demanding childhood, but many many more people than yiu and I have a shit childhood, followed by a shit life without comfort, love or agency.

Personally, I think you need to reflect a little, move on and stop the pity party. Be glad for what you have. If you want change find something philanthropic.

Are you bragging about how Rich and attractive you think you are ? I don’t think you need to go hungry or chose whether to eat today or not . Most of your problems can you can fix yourself with money . You have MH issues - you can afford private care .

take your pity party elsewhere

I was not intending to post, was just reading through and taking in both sides but I found this response breath takingly rude and dismissive.

You seem to be saying that not only should people have sympathy for rich, healthy, attractive people...but that sympathy should be exclusively for them because poor people can fix things by getting out of poverty (like you did easily) and ill people can just do some exercise. Whereas yours are the only problems that can't be solved.

Could have been an interesting discussion but turned into a snarky race to the bottom. I think people might be inclined to not sympathise/empathise with you, not because of your wealth and beauty, but because of your dismissive attitude and self focus.

I'm sure you will disagree, but that is how you have come across here.

YANBU, but those I know who are wealthy, whilst they still have their fair share of life shit are able to fix things more easily and don’t tend to have the spiralling bad luck that those without money can have.

It is a choice to have a high income lifestyle though. To say it's as stressful as struggling to pay rent is ignorant. You're talking about a CHOICE.

YABU I think.

As someone who has never had any money and had a pretty shit childhood to boot, I definitely don't think that wealthy people have no problems but wealth can buy a lot of things to help with problems. I can't afford to get therapy to deal with issues stemming from childhood so instead I have to live in a bit of a void and shut it all away, I cannot trust men so can never have a proper relationship. I don't think therapy can magically solve issues but it would be a start. I've been a lone parent as well from pretty much day one and couldn't afford outside help so I've had to do everything on my own, it would have been a help to be able to afford a cleaner or nanny or something.

Maybe you can save world hunger next OP? 😂

Thanks, I believe you have now given me the clarification I needed to justify my grotesque feelings to your posts.

Anyone can have problems - access to more money can either open doors to different solutions and/or it can allow problems to grow bigger, depending on the choices we make.

It's easy to asume money will solve our issues if we don't have it, so we can think people with money shouldn't have issues like we do. If we always had money we don't even know what the issues are with not having money, but have our own set of issues that people without money can't relate to. If we had no money and made money we find that money doesn't always solve our issues, or brings new issues. If it did solve our issues by making money we are scared of going back to having no money and the issues reappearing which we had before.
The stress of maintaining a high income lifestyle can be as high as struggling to pay rent on a flat.

You have my sympathy OP. I've been in every social grade and the main advantage in my life is definitely that I have a loving stable family. No amount of money can make up for that.

Being part of a society that is really unequal creates resentment which doesn't help anyone. There's a book called the spirit level which measures this mathematically across all the oecd counties and it's quite striking.

Sympathy isn't going to help you though is it? You can afford the things that will help, such as therapy. Life is very hard for most people to one extent or another, having loads of money makes it measurably easier. It is unfair that you are very wealthy and others have nothing - it is an unfairness we can do something about, whereas whatever happened to you in the past can't be fixed by sympathy.

I think you are spot on OP for emotional issues. Physical issues are much easier to solve when you have money.

But money doesn’t solve depression or shit parents / up bring.

No it means that regardless of what others say or think, OP is loving living with mental torture.