To feel like people assume if you're wealthy, successful etc people assume you can't have problems?

OP if you want to discuss what you have tried and what you might still try for the depression feel free to PM me. Over 20 years experience.

There are people where their childhood trauma as caused them to completely breakdown as a person:
Become 500lb heavy
Become a sex worker
Become addicted
Become homeless
Lose their kids
Get in prison

Someone with money might:
Have weightloss surgery or injections or extensive therapy and medication
Rehab for any addictions or at least better quality drugs and dealers with less bad consequences
Finances to hire lawyers if you get into trouble
Own money to work if desired rather than be tarred by criminal record
Kids custody hopefully not lost due to hired help, cleaners and nannies to show kids are taken care of
Can afford rehab and addiction treatments or harm minimisation with paid staff, homes big enough to hideaway, can even check kids into boarding school.

You cannot convince us that you suffer the effects of a personal problem as much as a poor person.

But then you don't have understanding or sympathy bc money. So in that respect it's worse. People have less understanding for you're loss, as your comment shows. Who cares if you can afford an expensive car, it's not a subsitute for having a family. Lonliness is bad for your health.

When somebody is dealing with the effects of childhood abuse and struggles every day to keep a roof over their head and food on the table with no possible hint of things ever getting better, it's hard to see how somebody with millions can have an understanding of what that is like, as their practical problems - housing, food, clothing, medical treatment, housework, shopping, cooking, cleaning - are fairly non-existent.

It's trauma + survival that they're fighting every day they force themselves out of an uncomfortable bed in a cold, cramped flat in a shitty area for a monthly income you'd probably make in about two minutes. Not 'just' having no family or sense of emotional security.

In short, it's a damn sight easier to be miserable when all your physical needs are taken care of. You're still miserable, but at least you're miserable in comfort.

Money can obviously make life easier/better in some ways, that's no secret! However after a certain amount the benefits to happiness stop increasing proportionally. Their has actually been scientific study done on this including dollar amounts. Someone who had a healthy upbringing and enough money to have a decent quality of life will often be better off than someone who had a terrible upbringing but is rich.

This is very true.

But equally, people with money can still have problems. Grief, childhood trauma, mental illness etc can affect anyone.

That said, obviously any problems you have would be worse if you were also poor.

Honestly, if someone in a lambourghini tried to tell me about their problems, I would find it hard to have sympathy for them 😄😄

That's just the way life is

My diamond shoes are too tight.

I agree that people think wealthy folks have no troubles and to a point they kind of are because a lot of problems link to poverty or gaining weight fot example but if you manage to still be or become wealthy and still keep a decent figure it shows you have more options and have escaped less scathed than others. You have more options to get help and to cope than a poor persob with the same problems so no i do not think rich people have no problems but their personal problems are less catastrophical than the same to poor people because they can mitigate a lot of the side effects thanks to their money and resources ie post natal depression but have money for private therapy and nannies to pick up the slack and keep the kids well and 'spa days' and running off to second third and fourth holiday homes for a change of scenary. If you're poor with post natal dression it's far worse for everyone.
If you choose to not get help that you know you can afford then that is on you and to pretend that you suffer just as much as a poor person is insulting.

But the OP isn't posting about any kind of real problem. She's posting to complain that other people may think she doesn't have any. That seems to be what bothers her. And it's entirely trivial. She can't control other people's perception of her, but wants to.

I think I see what you mean.
Child abuse is child abuse - if a child is abused it does not matter a white if the person abusing them is rich or poor, living on a castle or a sink estate. The child as an under 18 has no money, little voice and is under the control of the adult world.

People tend to have sympathy for the visible disadvantaged - the dirt poor, the child in rags.
Just as a alcoholic can be guzzling Buckfast or cheap cider and it's "poor victim", the person guzzling gin or brandy is just as much an alcoholic but the response is different.

I don't think you sound defensive. I think it's pretty clear why OP sounds like a dick though. Absolutely adamant that her life is no easier because of money. It's "just as hard, but in a different way" she says. And it's that, which virtually no one agrees with, yet OP thinks people should, which is why she is the way she is.

To me, it reads that OP struggles with friends, and fitting in, in general. And it's clearly because everyone is jealous, because everyone talks badly about beautiful millionaires. She's a big victim in her own eyes. Not to say she's not any kind of victim to anything, but she thinks she's got it so hard. And she simply hasn't.

Like I said, for every one person in OP's situation, there will be a thousand who are in the identical situation and crippled with money worries. Of course she has it easier. Just like me. Except I can admit it.

I think this thread proves your point OP.

At least on Mumsnet daring to complain about any real problems you have is a crime if you're not struggling financially. The middle class and the wealthy are quite vilified.

But so what if they don't appreciate it. I mean, you do you. You walk the path at your own feet, as others have to. You're giving way too much headspace to what you seem to think of as other people's failure to appreciate how hard you have it. This makes you sound like someone who is primarily concerned with her image.

I may sound overly defensive here, but I don't think that op is being a dick? They aren't saying anything mean or nasty to anyone else.

There's a saying about wealth buying a comfortable standard of misery.

A lot of people's problems and unhappiness is due to their family or relationships . Who are often in the same wealth bracket as they are.

Dunno I agree that financial stability,or way beyond that equates to not having problems.
Definitely financial insecurity, difficulty, poverty does nothing to make them any easier
It's not really comparable. If you can afford therapy your always in a better position

Of course the rich have problems.

But not the same teeth grinding worry about paying the rent or the gas bill.

Sorry. My sympathies lie more with those kinds of problem.

You seem fixated on how others perceive you. I don’t understand why you’d want sympathy and pity from others, especially strangers.

Maybe this is the root of the problem: some people who are wealthy and successful become used to people around them “seeing” them at some level, to being of some importance when they walk into a room - and it comes as a bit of a shock to realise that outside of that narrow aspect of their life that a few people involved in are interested in, people who don’t know them don’t think or care much about them and aren’t interested in investing the time to find out.

OP I work in child development and I understand. The damage which is done to children’s brains by abusive treatment in early life is not really talked about enough.
i hope that you are on your way to finding peace. I do wonder if some of the anger you feel at what you perceive to be a lack of sympathy is also stemming from parents who didn’t keep you safe or meet your emotional needs.
wealth is not a buffer against that kind of damage.

I was listening to a YouTuber called "the financial diet" who sometimes talks about aspects of wealth. One of her guests was talking about the sense of community when she lived in a mixed or lower income neighborhood, compared to a rich neighborhood where people were in her opinion more isolated. She said she'd never live in a rich neighborhood again. Another interview I was reading the subject commented that their rich neighbors seemed more stressed.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have enough money to provide a lot of security for my kid and wider family members eventually, and live to a high standard, which we do. However it's not always 100 percent pros and no cons. A lot of people who come from a poorer background and become wealthy (athletes, lotto winners) loose it all quickly, in part bc everyone around them sees them as an ATM. I'm also more comfortable having other kids visit our average size house, than have a lovely kid in my kid's class who aren't as well off and live in an apartment, then if we lived in a mansion with a gate. It just seems like it would be harder to just have people visit casually, and I don't want that.

You are not a millionaire op.

Your statement lacks credibility and is incredibly generalising.

Many people, rich and poor have poor mental health.

It is true that those who have more money have access to superior services.

I don’t really understand what point you’re driving at here? All the comparisons (a large portion of which apparently don’t even exist outside your head?) are toxic and a previous poster was correct that generally few people care enough about other people’s problems that they will spend time taking anything into account.

general life is undoubtedly easier with money. Complex backgrounds and mental health issues affect anybody and everybody equally.

Tbh, you seem to be the only one with a hang up about your appearance and financial status affecting how your MH is treated which makes me suspect that you’re highly likely experiencing what the previous poster outlined and decided on what was to blame.

Agree. There average person in the west isn't at risk of being homeless on Monday (as a pp refered too) and has their basic needs met for food and shelter. However many people who suffered horrific sa abuse as a child (I'm refering to a documentary on Irish school abuse survivors who had high suicide rates in their sixties or seventies. They still hadn't recovered after decades. They weren't necessarily rich but at least many of them would have had their basic needs met.). Having more money doesn't necessarily move the needle that much above the average joe, yet they won't get the sympathy that the average person would get.

You seem fixated on how others perceive you. I don’t understand why you’d want sympathy and pity from others, especially strangers. What’s important is that you have people in your life who support you and understand you. If you don’t, then this is where your focus should be, not lamenting your lack of pity from the wider population.

Everyone realises that wealthy people have problems, everyone realises that wealth doesn’t make you immune to the shit that life brings. However, if you’re going through a terrible life experience or tragedy, of course money makes it easier. A colleague who recently lost a child in a tragic accident was forced to come back to work before she was ready because our employer has limited sick pay and she has bills to pay. Someone who has been through the same tragedy but doesn’t need to return to work has more choices.