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AIBU?

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Original poster

Time to date but no time to see child?

30 replies

nc896 · 28/12/2024 07:50

I think I just need a rant more than anything.

Split up with ex around 4 months ago. My choice. He was a terrible partner and father.

We share a very young child, under 2.

He's seen DC 3 times since the split, and not at all in 3 months. He's go no time apparently due to work.

But I've found out through mutual friends that he's in a new relationship. So he's had time to date and meet someone new, but not see our child.

I also wonder what he has told the new woman about why he doesn't see his child. Probably that I am a nightmare, which I'm not.

He didn't even see our child for Christmas, send a card or gift.

AIBU to be annoyed and hurt for my child?

OP posts:
Original poster
nc896 · 28/12/2024 08:06

I've done that before @fuzzychic and he says he cannot commit to a contact pattern due to work.

OP posts:
fuzzychic · 28/12/2024 08:02

nc896 · 28/12/2024 08:01

He does pay maintenance now, because I went to CMS (only just started getting it). This caused him to say that I'm a gold digger and money orientated).

He also sent me a few nasty messages on Christmas Day, saying that I've put our child in this position (I think he means by ending the relationship) and painting himself as victim which I haven't responded to.

He hasn't asked to see our child in months and certainly never asked to see them on Christmas Day.

Email him and ask what contact pattern he would like.

Original poster
nc896 · 28/12/2024 08:01

He does pay maintenance now, because I went to CMS (only just started getting it). This caused him to say that I'm a gold digger and money orientated).

He also sent me a few nasty messages on Christmas Day, saying that I've put our child in this position (I think he means by ending the relationship) and painting himself as victim which I haven't responded to.

He hasn't asked to see our child in months and certainly never asked to see them on Christmas Day.

OP posts:
BCBird · 28/12/2024 07:57

If he was a crap father when you were together, he is probably not going to become brilliant dad now you apart but the lack of contact and no Christmas present is unacceptable. Are there legal.lines u can explore for lack of contact? Also if he is not contributing towards his child' s upkeep I would be dealing with that. If in any discussions re no time I would not mention the dating. Don't let him.think u are bothered

Dingdongmerrilyonsigh · 28/12/2024 07:55

It is really sad that he’s not showing more interest in your child.

really hope he is supporting him financially?

you can’t force him to have a relationship with his son. The choice is his.

focus on giving your boy a lovely life full of love and care - it’s lovely if both parents are involved - but if he choses not to be that is totally on him.

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