To be mad my folks gatecrashed xmas?

This is such an upsetting situation. At some point, I would suggest you talk to them about how you feel. Perhaps, as others have suggested, you get some counselling first, to unpick why you feel you need to keep the peace and appease them. It means that your needs are not met and that is detrimental to your health. You have every right to spend Christmas without your parents.
They need to respect your boundaries.
I wouldn't rush round to collect presents. Perhaps it's best to let the dust settle.

What’s a Santa gift ???????
the ones the children asked Santa to bring the ones the kids will have been excited about.
dear god

I can imagine that your anxiety is through the roof, with all that is happening with your parents. This Christmas, we went abroad. For very different reasons but it was the best Christmas ever! Maybe this would be something for you, your husband and children? Don't tell your parents though!

YANBU that they “surprised” you is probably because they knew you’d say no. You’re allowed time for you and your family away from them, see how your DH parents reacted by simply respecting your boundaries.
It’s exhausting to have the same conversation with people especially when they refuse to see your pov but hold your ground. You didn’t do anything wrong, they did, and they’re probably embarrassed and angry that they were called out.

I'd tell them, I love you but your attitude towards my DH is tired and immature and there's always tension and unpleasantness. We will pop and see you for a few hours on Boxing day, if we don't go away. Otherwise, Christmas is for us, that's me and MY family.

If they wanted to spend Christmas with them why not take the children’s gifts. ??? You can’t choose your family & disrespecting her husband is wrong.

Don’t tell them where you are going & ask them to post your children’s gifts if they can’t tell them to keep them as there is obviously an underlying issue. Do what you think is best for your family.

I'm amazed you have been able to get away with not having Christmas with your family/in-laws. For years we were 'summoned' to attend Christmas with my in-laws in London (mine are overseas). This is despite them not wanting to have anything to do with us for the rest of the year and making sure that they were always away over the school summer holidays (usually on a cruise) when we could have done with a little help with our kids (they had no other grandchildren in the UK). This led to annual arguments with my wife (who didn't want to go but felt 'family obligation'). It was all about keeping up appearances with their friends on London (now mostly dead) who did appear have family who wanted to spend Christmas with them, so my in-laws didn't wish to appear estranged. These dreadful tense false festivities were an annual blight on our lives. Bah humbug!

Have you met up with your sister yet OP? Do come back and update us.

@LePetitMaman - you'll be waiting a long time if you think typing @mnhq does anything useful.

😂 Course you are.

Sounds like its time for a different hotel this Christmas but dont tell them which one!

I don't really want to say on the thread because then they cotton on and can evade being caught out easier. Just awaiting @mnhq further advice on situation.

How odd. No one else reacted.

@mnhq

No one has to 'be nice' to people who force you to do things you have chosen not to do, even if they are family. It was not one meal it was an entire weekend away.
The grandparents should have respected their adult daughters wishes not completely run over them with their own plans.
I think a lack of boundaries over time has led to what happened. I feel sorry for OP & hope that her parents can learn to respect her wishes.

I can't see this toxic dynamic in this OP. I thought it was all about Xmas. If my father called my DH a dick, I would be furious and certainly noit require therapy. My father would thoug, firstly for the insult and further for encroaching on our space.

Good god. Every time anyone disagrees with you you claim it’s a “sock-puppet account”. Err, no, it’s just someone with a different stance.

Upthread I took issue with you being very spiteful and bitchy to other posters for no apparent reason. Two of your posts were deleted by MN as a result. You informed me that I was a sock
puppet account and you were reporting me to MNHQ. How did that work out for you?

Ah get you now! A lot of trouble isn't it, why bother????
Also, how do you spot them?

Yeah they've stopped that, but they can't prevent people creating different emails log ins and switching accounts to post on the same thread under different names

I thought the inability to name change on a thread was to stop sock-puppeting does it not work?

I'm totally missing the point of the thread but I'm so invested in what hotel this is as it sounds marvellous. I've never considered christmas away like this and might fancy it!

No, what you're doing is cherry picking the odd thing of a choice of 100 that would be classed as shitty behaviour instead of abuse. Then announcing that's what it all is.

Far from factual. Seriously lacking in comprehension, if you genuinely think you are "factually accurate."

I never suggested anyone was entitled to do these things. I said the OP might benefit from professional help in learning to manage such behaviour, which is clearly very wrong and OP is suffering!
If she goes NC with her parents, then her sister may go NC with her and further unpleasantness will result and so it goes on ....
I am precisely saying that she could benefit from professional help to equip herself in standing up to them.
It's hard to have a constructive discussion when some people jump straight to name calling ('abuse').

"Calling out" implies social wrong doing, 'disagreeing' implies respect for the other person's opinion and their right to hold their opinion. Check it online if you don't believe me.Using 'calling out' suggests I am actually doing something wrong in expressing my opinion.

I'm not minimising the behaviour. I've said clearly that I think it's really bad and OP needs help to deal with it. IMO she MIGHT be unwittingly pandering to it or easily rolling over, which a therapist could help her with. It's worth a thought.

The problem with NC was shown in a recent thread, now deleted because OP got so upset by it, where OP went NC with her family, who then didn't invite her to her granny's funeral as she was NC. OP was devastated, hence the post. She was savaged on MN with criticisms for going NC. That explains the problem with NC it in a nutshell.

I'm really not saying anything uneasonable.