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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be mad my folks gatecrashed xmas?

808 replies

merrychristonabike · 28/12/2024 07:31

Me DH and our kids went to a hotel for xmas - a tradition we adopted to escape the 'where will you be at xmas?' from mum and dad every year. We've invited them and my in-laws before, but it wasn't fun as my parents were clearly put out they were sharing the time with in-laws.
On arrival on xmas eve, my parents were there to 'surprise' us and we were furious. My husband later asked them why they were there and my dad flipped, telling my husband he'd always had his suspicions about him and generally being a dick. Dad didn't wish DH merry Christmas, ignored him at dinner and left without saying goodbye to either of us,
It ruined the 3 night stay. They didn't bring the kids' gifts - I think so we will still have to go see them and I just can't face it. There's a bit of back story to their behaviour, but it's too long for here other than them being overbearing and intense. And I also just want to know AIBU? And what's your advice yo navigate this?

OP posts:
merrychristonabike · 28/12/2024 07:42

OhhYoureSpikey · 28/12/2024 07:33

Next time don’t tell them what hotel you are going to!

Ha. It's the same one we've gone to the last 4 Christmases and the one we invited them to once. I didn't think they'd turn up!

OP posts:
BilboBlaggin · 28/12/2024 07:41

I wouldn't be going to see them to get the presents. Sod them.

Next year go to a different hotel but don't tell them which one.

Darby3785 · 28/12/2024 07:41

I would have been furious too, so i don't think YABU.

Your parents didn't respect your wishes and didn't just leave you to have your Christmas. You should be able to say to grown adults im going here for Christmas without them deciding to gatecrash it and cause a scene!

I would honestly be tempted to do nothing about seeing them. They were in the wrong , let then come to you! Which if they are overbearing and intense, they will do sooner rather than later.

merrychristonabike · 28/12/2024 07:40

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 28/12/2024 07:35

Why do you think they did it?

Also more info about:
the time both sets of parents came
What they said to you (not dh) this time
Did you spend the 3 days together?

They didn't want to miss out - or be alone at xmas. My DS was at her in-laws. I do feel bad for not involving them, but they completely dominate a situation, have made it clear they're not big fans of my DH (of 11 years) and generally suck the joy out of social occasions with their constant bickering, so I have tried to escape that.

OP posts:
GeorgeMichaelsCat · 28/12/2024 07:37

Why did you tell them where you were?

winterdarkness · 28/12/2024 07:36

How did they know which hotel you were in?

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 28/12/2024 07:35

Why do you think they did it?

Also more info about:
the time both sets of parents came
What they said to you (not dh) this time
Did you spend the 3 days together?

OhhYoureSpikey · 28/12/2024 07:33

Next time don’t tell them what hotel you are going to!