To be mad my folks gatecrashed xmas?

OP's parents asked the hotel to put them on a table next to OP and her family so there was no getting away from them.

I presume that either all the other tables were booked and/or OP didn't want to witness the hysterics from her parents if they moved tables away from them.

Lmao are you for real.

Yeah that fixes everything, well done. Instead of have them forced on her table, OP could have told them they weren't to sit with them. So then the piece of shit manipulative bully parents could do their whole performance, wailing at their evil daughter, cruelly denying them Christmas with their family. Then they could glower/wail/scowl/"ohhhh I can't possibly eat now, you've ruined my Christmas" from three tables away amongst the other diners. What a fucking glorious idea.

The stupidity on this post is almost equal to the mother's manipulation. Almost.

Some people have no idea, no idea at all. And having no idea and being called out for frankly stupid "suggestions" doesn't make other posters "rude." OP is clearly from a toxic, narcissistic family. Who have trampled all over her. Beaten her down to always require their approval and trained from childhood that she must appease them.

Yeah, she should just tell them to back off. Dumb old OP, why hasn't she thought of that before eh. That easy innit hun.

Some people have no idea what it's like to feel sick when you hear tyres pull up unexpectedly on your drive. How these people affect your relationships. Bully you into adulthood, often the only family you have, certainly the only parents you have ever known.

Congratulations if you have no idea. But at least attempt to read OPs posts.

A wild guess but maybe op told them... I mean it's just as likely the parents hacked into ops email and found out that way... it's 50 50 really 🙄

Minimum grace? This isn't about showing them minimum grace. This is about her parents overstepping boundaries, throwing their toys out of the pram if they don't get their own way on anything, being jealous and petty about their daughter's inlaws, and stomping all over anything the OP and her husband want as a family and crying (mum) or going into a rage (dad) when they speak up for themselves.

If someone said you can have a few thousand pounds in 50 years time but you have to be treated like shit on a weekly bases, would you agree to it? Or is it only from the happenstance of birth that putting up with poor behaviour and complete disregard of boundaries is acceptable?

Edit to add: if the op is in a position to be able to afford Xmas in a hotel, I’d go as far as saying that there’s no great need for a possible (and never guaranteed anyway) parental inheritance. No one should toe the line for a ‘maybe inheritance’.

Who's mentioned inheritance?

Who even knows if there'll be one?

Why are you making stuff up?

(But, to be fair, the OP needs the compensation!)

OP's parents are obviously not people that she can have a sensible conversation with. Having seen OP and the children on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week, her mum is wailing because OP won't be seeing them today. This is not normal behaviour.

Looks like there are plently of disingenuous posters just sparring for their own kicks. Screen them out and scroll on by as they are just derialing the thread.

Hotels tend to go all out if they're open at Christmas

They have activities for the children - often including Father Christmas
They have parties and entertainment
Christmas dinner

We are not talking a Premier Inn here

And it may well be in a lovely part of the country with walks and other things nearby

We don't know. But if the OP has done it more than once it can't be that miserable can it?

She obviously thought you were either trying to be funny or that you were being ridiculous.

You are definitely ridiculous in policing people's use of the Reaction button.

You spelled doormat wrong.

But surprises are never nice and often backfire...

They didn't need your permission to be at the hotel.

Oh come on. This is ridiculous. I don’t need permission to book a table in the restaurant where my friends are having a romantic dinner, but it would still be fucking weird to do it.

Did you do Comprehension at school?

Thats a very clear and comprehensive message, I hope the OP feels able to send something like that (and ignore the posters who seem to be responding to a different thread!)

I have lived your life OP, so you have my sympathies! It's their way or the highway, I ended up going no contact as I couldn't cope with their demanding and manipulative behaviour anymore.

My dad is also an aggressive blow-up angry personality. I did come to realise he was like this due to my mother's incessant whining at him about whatever was bothering her, so he would do things to appease her, which would make whatever situation worse, as it was in direct opposition to my wants. Complete Nightmare! Anyway just a thought for you about your parent's dynamics and your father's actions, as my mother is manipulative and sounds like your mum. Oh and my parents also withheld Christmas presents from their grandchildren as we weren't complying with their demands.

Good luck OP.

Sounds perfect

If you are going to accept the inheritance, have the decency to show the minimum grace to your parents.

Sounds like you'd be better off on the Stately Homes thread rather than AIBU, although to be fair OP I think the majority of people "get it" here. It sounds like you've done everything you can, you've had sit down conversations with them and nothing has changed so it will have to be grey rock, low contact or no contact. Can you do that? Start by not getting the presents?

Are we reading the same thread? You seem to be making up your own version of events.

"Gee, mum. So it's okay for you to rock up uninvited and literally ruin our Christmas and make it all about what you and dad want, but 'I've' ruined your Christmas. I don't think so. We will not be seeing you for the rest of the holidays. You've already crashed and taken over our 3 days of designated family time. We're also going to take some time to think about how this is going to work going forward, because you and dad have made it very clear you don't respect me as an independent adult who is married with a family of her own, that you don't respect boundaries, and that you don't respect anyone's ideas who don't align with your own. It's also clear you don't respect my DH, the man I married. We are a family unit, a team, and you don't respect that. Please don't call or message me or DH. We will reach out when we're ready. If you do, I will block you on X and X, and I'd rather not have to do that."

Something along those lines. In writing. Then mute them.

It was very appropriate

She doesn't...

If it had been me the tone would have been very sharp

Have you really not read the OP's posts?

The unkind and selfish ones were the OP's parents