Great post.
OP, your father is a bully.
Always has been.
It has worked for him.
A house terrorist that bullys and abuses his family.
Your mother is his enabler and manipulator.
My parents were the same.
When I refused to see my parents after a tantrum from my father he called to my door and told me that he was sorry if I was upset but that I was a part of the family and didn't have any choice about contact..
Big mistake.
He found out that he was wrong when he died 21 years later and I never reversed my decision.
I never regretted walking away from the behaviour you describe.
It enabled me to live a peaceful calm life without drama.
It enabled me to raise a family without the ugliness my father brought to everything.
He too thought my highly educated academic, successful in laws weren't interesting enough.
He was blanked by them the year after my wedding at my wonder FIL's funeral.
They had zero interest in him or his company which he was confused by.
The ego🙄
He was a complete narcissist that completely underestimated his daughters steel.
You will never change them.
People like your parents sour the lives of those they touch.
Send that text.
Take a break.
Get therapy and forge a new future.
Consider moving if it makes life easier, just far away that makes running into them unlikely.
You will never regret it.
Oh an expect the theatrics of a sudden serious illness and flying monkeys in the form of other family to try and guilt you.
I simply refused to engage with that too.