To think men and women are actually programmed differently?

Can he drive? That involves holding a lot of things in his brain and paying attention to multiple, simultaneous visual and audio cues - many of them in his peripheral vision.

Exactly the same as paying attention to a 2 year old while cooking. If he can do one, he can do the other

We are not programmed different.

We have distinct biological differences, but men and women are equally capable of learning stuff. Be it engineering, child care, cooking, driving, social skills, sailing, cleaning etc.

I agree- not for the reasons you have stated. But men and women are biologically different with generally different “cocktails” of hormones that influence how we generally behave. I do believe that we react differently based on our primal roles - but I believe a lot of that is removed in civilisations that have the tech to even out the playing field.

Everything else is down to personalities and surroundings.

When I see my son and daughter - and I hear stories from people that have had to raise both genders - yes, there are general differences between boys and girls. When I look at the way men and women interact in packs - I notice that there are differences there too. But these differences are strengths - not weaknesses.

They are definitely socialised differently.. often have different societal expectations and pressures on them as they grow up..
I think that can make it seem sometimes as though we are different species.
But we aren't.
There may be some biological/hormonal influences but I reckon they don't make as much difference as the different way girls and boys are raised. And the adults they look up to as examples.

The next person such as myself will have the opposite personal experience though.

My DS loves baby dolls and stuffed toys. His favourite Christmas present was easily his new baby doll.

But you're making judgement on a man who was raised male and with all the social male conditioning and then saying it's genetic.

I suspect he just doesn't have the same emphasis on stuff like washing his hands - he's probably less likely to do it after the loo or during cooking etc as you. Ours just lower down his priorities because he's judged the consequences as less significant than you. Maybe not consciously but things like blowing the food every mouthful - if it's hurting baby and he's not been Ng more considerate that's obviously a concern because his child's welfare should be top of his list. If baby eats it fine or just doesn't take it then it's less likely to move up as it's not something causing a consequence to him. You may feel guilty that he's turned his head from it or worry he swallowed it but it'll burn his insides, so the consequences in your head are higher.

I don't know how you can prove that's his Y chromosome over his being raised male tho

Er, no, I'm saying the studies I've seen have been consistent with my personal experience.

And on your sample size of two, you’re entirely happy to refute peer-reviewed, large-scale studies.

I'd have belittled him for about a month first...

Feeble. I can't stand it..

I've been single for a while now.. can't think why.. 🤪🤣

@NunyaBeeswax reminds me of a uni BF. We were talking on the phone.

Him: I'm staaaaaarving.

Me: eat something then.

Him: can't. Mum's not home.

Me: so what? Surely there's something in the fridge.

Him: yeah , but I'm waiting for mum to come home and cook.

Me: starve then.

We broke up because I wasn't very sympathetic.

Anybody that has brought up or seen baby boys to young boys, and baby girls to young girls, can tell you the differences are inbuilt. No programming required at all. Daniel Amen the brain specialist says how scans of male and female brains are sooo different.

DS4 also recently asked me why boys and girls tend to like different things.

Because they're told they do from a very young age.

Not really. There are some very practical people (both men and women) and when they are also a bit controlling (like to be in charge is probably a nicer way of putting it) they tend to assume everyone is incompetent around them. Mumsnetters are frequently like this. I am perfectly capable but have no issue with others taking charge. I go with it and let them tell me how to peel a carrot, or whatever, because it makes them feel good about themselves. I used to teach food technology and teenage boys are just as capable of reading a recipe, bringing in ingredients, organising a work area, cooking a good meal and cleaning up as the girls are. Why wouldn’t they be? If one of the girls wandered up and told them they were washing up wrong, they would let the girl take over ( and vice versa).

Fair summation of yourself ,you omitted the quirky 😂 ⬅️ that nailed it
Google Cordelia Fine

Possibly there have been. The studies I've seen have reinforced my observations that preferences are mostly innate. DS was never interested in baby dolls or stuffed toys so we didn't have any until DD was born, and at 1yo she started pointing at them in shop windows. It was never anything I cared about or encouraged.

So ignorant yet so confident 😂

But there have been more studies debunking this fallacy.

How is a primate study replicable and relevant to humans? Umm it isn’t

I had a partner who couldn't do the washing up properly...
"Can't you do it" , he'd whine.. "I can't get it as clean as you...." Sad face...
"..... Well, fucking learn or eat from dirty plates"

Another one made a big deal about how I was better at mopping the kitchen than he was and how it takes him twice as long... Wah wah wah..
"Couldn't give a shit how long it takes you, it's your time your wasting, I'm off out..."
Amazingly, he got much quicker...

Then there was the "let's split the chores" conversation.
"Interesting" says I, "all the chores you've decided are yours, are things you enjoy doing... Mowing the lawn? washing the car?... And all my chores are things you dislike doing..."
"I just split them by what we're good at.." he says..
"..... If you're good at mowing the lawn, why's it take my half hour but it takes you three hours with two of those hours being sitting in the shed?"

(All my exes are exes for reasons... Most will you tell you I'm a twat.... most will be right.. 🤣)

Agree with this. There have even been studies showing male and female monkeys prefer different sorts of toys (dolls vs cars). DS4 also recently asked me why boys and girls tend to like different things.

I have limited sympathy for these coach load of women stepping into undertake tasks men do suboptimally. Stop being a martyr. He can do it.

A lot of it is strategic incompetence. No new parent (male or female) has the first clue about how to change a nappy or wrangle a baby's limbs in and out of a sleepsuit. You have to learn how to do it, and guess who gets the most practice?

However, some things can't be changed. Men as a sex are better at spatial awareness, women better at multitasking. That's not learned behaviour…
Yes it is learned behaviour.

Yes it is. Do you not think running a building site requires a lot of multitasking? That’s mostly men doing that. Behaviour is learnt, it’s literally the definition.

Yes, or maybe you’re the outlier as you don’t know every woman or man in the world? It has certainly not been the experience of my close friends. The majority of the group were male who were pushing for babies. They also did at least half the load. There is also paternal instinct, I would say parental instinct affects the majority. I’m sorry you’ve not experienced both parents being fully and actively involved, but that has been the norm for me and not the exception.

Men are more predisposed to be lazier,

Men can afford to be lazier because they normally have someone else to pick up the slack(generally a woman), plus they're held to less higher standards, so anything goes.

Mainly due to bs like this.