Partner not wanting sex while I am pregnant

Has this already happened or is this a concern for when you do get pregnant?

My DH didn't think he'd want sex with me while pregnant/with a bump.

Ended up a non-issue. Had sex when allowed to do so (pregnancy complications) including over 41 weeks pregnant trying to get baby out 🤣 had far more sex while pregnant than since arrival.

Same. He understood why I didn’t want sex and respected it. As you’d expect from your life partner.

Jesus christ! He didn't say he wasn't going to find her attractive!!! What a disgusting comment. If a woman didn't want sex, would you be recommending that she allow her husband fuck someone else for a few months until her desire came back? Thankfully my OH was supportive of my decision to not have sex during pregnancy, he didn't go looking for a hall pass!

Ask him is he’s happy for you to go elsewhere to get sorted and have a non-monogamous relationship until he finds your body attractive again.

There’s an absolute tsunami of men who find pregnant women incredibly attractive and sexy and won’t hesitate to help you out.

Yeah dh couldn't have sex once I began to show properly but I was more like 25 plus weeks with the first. Don't remember it being an issue tbh as it was a temp thing. With subsequent dc it was earlier as I was bigger but I was running around after a toddler so I really was not fussed.

We reverted back just fine once I was recovered from birth

We were the opposite, I had zero desire to have sex this time when I was pregnant. First time we continued as normal. But my OH was so supportive of my decision, even though he really really wanted to have sex. I really don't think it's fair to ask him to suck it up and have sex with you if he doesn't want to.

Have you started showing yet and has this started already? Because if it hasn't, it may take some time for your husband to notice you are showing. He sees you every day and you aren't going to wake up one morning with a massive bump.

Exactly the same for me. As soon as I got a positive test, my husband wouldn’t go anywhere near me. It made me feel so insecure, ugly, round. Just a vessel for a baby. It did really mess with me.

Your theory is bollocks.

If a person doesn't want sex, for any reason or none, that is their prerogative. Full stop. No one should ever have sex out of obligation or have to justify their lack of wish to do it.

Nobody can help their feelings about something as visceral as sex. I suspect it’s less about physical changes and more about it feeling weird about a third person being literally present. It certainly was for me - and I was the pregnant one.

My theory is that men who don’t want sex when their partner is pregnant, are the same men who don’t want their partners breastfeeding. It’s misogynistic as they won’t accept a woman’s body changing.

My husband was the same. It made me feel really sad. Baby is now 4 months old and he still refuses - says he can't cope with seeing my boobs out and treated as a food source. I've also put on weight which doesn't help. And we're both exhausted.

But I just don't know when we're going to have sex again at this point. I'm hoping to breastfeed for at least a year, maybe 2.

Things are different between us and we're a little irritable and not close in a way I think is due to the lack of sex, at least as a small part (I know, sleep deprivation doesn't help).

I wish he'd been able to at least try fooling around or something. Doesn't have to be PIV.

Bah,I'm sad now

Sounds like you’re suggesting emotional blackmail to get him to do it now

My body was a temple and sex was completely off the table. Unbelievably not a single complaint. He was pretty happy after my postnatal check and normal service was resumed though!

My H didn't want sex when I was pregnant. It destroyed my self esteem, I felt so utterly unattractive and rejected. It took me years to get it back.

Oh I was with my first. Not so much with the second. We did it for as long as we could. I don't think it's an old wives' tale that it gets labour going.

What I would say is that while it IS his prerogative to say no, I hope he is prepared to fully accept when you no longer have a bump when your little one is here, that it is YOUR prerogative to say no because you don't feel healed enough/horny enough/energetic enough/attractive enough etc etc.

He might change his mind about doing it now if you're up for it if he knows that it could be well longer than 9 months without any nookie.

I would say BOB will be your friend. Your hormones are really intense during your second trimester.

Then it's another 6 months

Yes. Crap for you though.

How would you feel at 8 months pregnant if you feel uncomfortable and really don’t want sex but was told to suck it up?
No one should have sex if they’re not comfortable with it, even men are allowed to say no!

As long as he's aware you may not feel like it for quite a while after giving birth. What if it was another 6 months?

My ex found pregnancy bumps a turn off.

We still had sex but it was usually from an angle where my bump wasn't centre of attention. And it wasn't as often. It's a weird time and both of you are free to do or not do what you want.

What choice do you have but to "respect how he feels?"