Partner not wanting sex while I am pregnant

Doesn't it actually give you the ick that he's that immature? How old are you guys?

Not sure so many posts mentioning suck it up are appropriate on this thread!!

I don't think I'd put up with such ignorance of the female body in a life partner 😐

Definitely not the case for us. Our sex life is back and I'm still breastfeeding at nearly 2 years PP.

My husband was the same. He felt weird knowing there was already someone else in there.

Well that's bollocks. My DH totally went off sex with me once I had a bump. It was a bit sad because I felt absolutely stunning, but his loss 😂 Anyway once DS was born I really struggled to breastfeed but DH knew how desperately I wanted to, and threw himself into finding practical ways to help. (Most memorably, by figuring out how to make me a BF-and-hands-free-pumping bra when I was trying to increase my supply, that allowed me to use both hands to position DS on one boob while the bra held my pump in place on the other one. It was a phenomenally unattractive garment, but did the trick and we ended up BFing until DS was 3.5!)

After reading your update I don't think he's very nice actually. He won't have sex with you but still wants blowjobs? Sounds pretty selfish to me.

Yeah that bit threw me too. I'd be expecting oral in return then 🤷🏻‍♀️

Presumably he doesn't expect them if OP doesn't want to give them

He still expects blow jobs did I read that right?

Is it just Penis In Vagina sex that he has an issue with, or is he reticent about any variation of sexual contact? This could be an opportunity to be imaginative about different ways to have sex.

I'd expect you to be a lot less interested in sex after the birth than before, so I'd be sure that your husband is aware he'll likely be waiting a lot longer than until birth to have sex again, if he chooses to refrain now.

When my partner was pregnant the first time I was worried about having sex. Although logically I knew the risk was incredibly tiny, I couldn't help but worry that I could accidentally cause harm. And it only takes a thought like that to pour a bucket of cold water over your libido.

I've just entered trimester 3 of my first pregnancy and we haven't done it once!

We were both a bit worried about affecting anything early on and I've felt so bone crunchingly tired almost the whole time, and nauseous for the first trimester, that it's one of the last things I've felt like doing. Neither of us has a massive sex drive anyway. I'll do bits for him if he's up for it

There has been no pressure on me to try and summon up the will to do anything

OP my DH was not sure how he would feel having sex while I was pregnant.

I am currently 6 months pregnant and we have been having sex although a lot less than normal due to morning sickness and generally not feeling it. He has not felt baby kick yet during it so I have a feeling when that happens we might stop.

You might find your DH changes his mind or it becomes a non issue due to multiple other factors ie sickness, doctors orders etc.

Personally I would just see how things go as my bump has only really became prominent in the last week so again there are lots of variables.

Wrong. My H was very supportive of me exclusive and then extended BF. Just not sex while I was pregnant.

I felt sick at the idea of sex while pregnant both times. It seemed an utterly revoluting thing to do.

The midwife told me to have sex when both babies were overdue, it was grim.

He says this now but see if he's still saying it in a few months 😉

I had sex with my husband once during my first pregnancy and currently pregnant with number 2 and it's been once so far here (about to enter my 3rd trimester). Both times were not long after the 20 week scan - with my first he said not again (and I wasn't bothered!), with this one we will see haha.

What are you talking about?

You're gross.

What if he doesn't want to massage you?

In my fist pregnancy it was me who didn’t want to have sex. I found the entire idea of it hugely off putting and wasn’t interested at all. My husband was so respectful of that and completely understood that it just wasn’t what I wanted. I worried about the long term implications of it, especially as it took a few months after our baby was born before my sex drive returned. But it did return and we got back to our usual good place with sex and I was so glad that he had really followed my lead on what I was comfortable with.

I think it’s important to keep lines of communication open, as you have been. If he isn’t comfortable with sex right now then he shouldn’t feel at all pressured into it, but discuss in a non-pressured way whether there are compromises to be had. If he doesn’t want penetrative sex would he still feel comfortable with other things? If he isn’t comfortable with any of it are there ways you can share physical intimacy in a non-sexual way so that you still feel connected and maintain your bond? E.g. massage / cuddles / etc.

There is no right or wrong approach, just the one you decide together works best for you.

Mine was like this. Was so blady frustrating. I've got the sex drive of a teenager. 3 weeks after c-section I finally got a good session. But to be fair he's enormous and was petrified of squashing the baby. I can't be on top because he's too broad and he was worried about Doggy style. To be fair he's a paranoid father and worries so much it's comical 😂. The baby's head went back and I see him googling "broken neck symptoms in newborns" 😂😂😂. Baring in mind, baby was banging her head on my chest trying to find a nipple

He doesn't have to make up for anything, just as you wouldn't have to, were the situation reversed.
MN is rife with double standards. How very dare a MAN not wish to penetrate someone for his own reasons?!

Conversely my husband won't leave me alone, I'm 8m pregnant...I'd just love a conversation without him looking at my boobs 🥴

I like to think there's a middle ground somewhere we could both be happy!