Partner not wanting sex while I am pregnant

I was a single parent during one of my pregnancies, it was absolute horrendous when the hormones kicked in and the horniness was there constantly.

My best advice is to invest in a decent toy…. My room sounded like a barber shop every night but hey, I was satisfied 🤣🤣

It’s only odd if it’s the same men doing both, and there’s no reason at all to think that OP’s husband is in to degrading, abusive pornography 🙄

It's really weird once the baby is moving it's like there are three of you involved and it's distracting!

I think he shouldn’t be forced to have sex but he needs to make sure that you don’t feel rejected as that will lead to problems down the line- I hope you are listening husband! I would talk and cuddle regularly- what is it about eachother that you love physically and everything else- personality etc. you need to make sure you keep that connection strong. You need to be proactive on this and it’s not as a late night after thought to give a consiliatory hug. Think of ways you both can show how much you love eachother without sex until you give birth.

Also, isn't it bizarre how men will get off to porn where women are being 'role play' degraded, abused and shagged by multiple men... but find it odd having sex with their pregnant partner... something that should be natural.

I mean, if that's how he feels, then he has the right to say no.

Although, it's a bit odd. Sex does nothing to harm the pregnancy unless you are some sort of high risk . So essentially, while he has the right to say no, he also should think about seeing someone about his anxiety as it isn't based on any facts or can't be justified with facts.

It's a problem with him and nothing to do with you being pregnant. The same as if he couldn't get it up or had ED, it isn't to do with you.

As you would with any anxiety (fear of flying, social anxiety), he should get himself down to the Dr's for some therapy. Poor chap.

Yeah: fuck off if you're pressurising op for blow jobs

The word ‘expects’ is the word OP used.

But by your own posts OP is wrong for even wanting massages during pregnancy let alone anything else. So do you have anything to say directly to the OP’s DH as he’s reading this too?

My husband was the same when I was pregnant. As soon as I got a bump, it just freaked him out to have sex with me. He didn't want to hurt me or the baby. It really upset me at the time. I was hormonal and feeling insecure which didn't help. I understood where he was coming from though.

He did eventually relent towards the end when I was overdue and sex was one of the few old wives tale remedies that was supposed to actually work. That was a logistical nightmare as I was huge by that point 😂

Sorry, that was in response to @fuzzychic.

I'm sure you can wait OP

If he doesn't want to that's fair enough

Are you saying those of us who didn’t want sex when we were pregnant weren’t “grown ups”? You can be close without fucking.

Thankfully my husband was a grown up and we carried on until delivery with both.
Such a happy time and we wanted to be close , sex was good. Towards the end hand to lie on our side s and do it from behind , but still good. After the bath we waited for the six week check up and we’re both keen to get back to it. I would have been so hurt if he had rejected me when pregm
nant, just felt natural to carry on. Easy pregnancies and births helped

My bf was fine having sex pregnant even with a bump until the baby started properly moving then it freaked him out if we had sex and the baby moved so he wouldn’t go near me after that think it’s quite normal

My partner was the same. It really bothered me, but obviously I couldn’t do anything about it and neither can you! If he doesn’t want to , he doesn’t want to 🤷🏼‍♀️

The word 'expects' implies the exact opposite, actually.

No one should have sex if they don't want to

However, if your husband wants you to be happy and relaxed during your pregnancy, he should, imo, help you to orgasm when you'd like him to

Not necessarily PIV, but in a way which suits you both

Being happy and relaxed when pregnant is good for baby

He still expects blow jobs? Um, no, he can fuck right off with that. If he wants blow jobs, he can perform cunnilingus.

Obviously if he’s not comfortable having sex with you whilst pregnant, then he shouldn’t be forced or made to feel bad about not doing it.

It’s very likely that you’ll go through a period of not wanting sex after the birth and that’s ok too.

You can both do other things with each other.

Then I imagine he won't massage her? You seem to be desperate to paint OP as some sort of predator? I do hope I am reading a tone into your messages that isn't there as I'm really not sure where you've picked up that OP is trying to get backup from strangers to justify sexually harassing her husband.

This is a long time married couple posting together to canvas opinions. I don't see how it's necessary to take an exceptionally dim view of the situation - discussing sex in a relationship is a healthy thing to do. Might not be entirely usual to decide to involve MN in your convo but nothing wrong with doing so. She has joked that she'll expect back massages as he still wants blowjobs (thus the laughing emojis). That is something they can decide between themselves based on how they feel at the time. It is not wrong or illegal for a pregnant wife to request a backrub.

I actually feel like your DH- I find sex with a baby in my tummy so weird! Particularly when I can feel it move! I feel so unsexy.

But my DH is fine with sex while pregnant. In fact when I said how unsexy I felt I looked he showed me a sub Reddit where men have a fetish for pregnant women, to make me feel less undesirable. It was hilarious - but also the way they described pregnant bodies as being "the literal embodiment of fertility/sexiness" made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.

No advice really as I felt like your DH... Maybe your DH should check out that subreddit lol

If your like me and you enjoy giving BJs then it's actually going to be quite torturous because you'll be all turned on. Don't be a martyr. I hope he reads this. If you aren't allowed to have a sexual relationship during pregnancy which is a stipulation imposed by him then he needs to join you I'm afraid.

I’d be gutted in your position, OP. I’m currently pregnant, much hornier than normal and DH loves my pregnant body, so our sex life is currently the best it’s ever been. If it’s anything like last time, I won’t want to/be able to do anything for about 3 months PP so there’s that to bear in mind too.

I would ask him to explain exactly what the issue is. If he’s worried about doing damage then just a little bit of research will help with that one. If he finds you unattractive then that would be a bit of a deal-breaker for me. How does he think you got in this position in the first place?! If he finds it hard to switch off from thinking about the baby then maybe doing it in the dark will help? Definitely keep up the communication and agree on other things you can do in the meantime to keep the physical connection going. Having a newborn and toddler is seriously stressful, so the more connected you feel, the better it will be for everyone.

I think men often feel concerned that thrusting and orgasm might be bad for the baby and don't want to be responsible for a miscarriage.