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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

360 replies

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 13:51

We did Christmas just the two of us. We don’t have children and our families live in different countries.

We did presents, watched a film, cooked dinner and then he said he was off to the gym. He is very much into the gym, goes pretty much every day.

He couldn’t understand why I was annoyed that he couldn’t just miss one day. Aibu?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 27/12/2024 15:27

FeegleFrenzy · 27/12/2024 14:04

Hubby goes for a run every single Xmas day morning. Over the years it’s wound me up no end. He gets up late, dc wants to open presents so we end up doing that without him because I’m so pissed off. He then goes out for a 90min-2hr run. Leaving me to cook dinner on my own. The last 3 years he’s been late back and we’ve started eating without him! We normally have an argument every Xmas day and I end up crying.

I agree with you OP, for one day they could give it a miss. I’m amazed he wanted to go after eating a Xmas dinner!

It is possible to factor a run into Christmas morning between presents and lunch. I think you both need work out a “timetable” next year. He’s creating a situation but you are making it worse.

ilovesooty · 27/12/2024 15:27

Justsayit123 · 27/12/2024 15:16

He’s told you where his priorities are… what are you going to do?

Are you suggesting this is a LTB scenario because he wanted to pursue a regular activity by himself for what was probably a short period of time? Is he unworthy of the relationship because he didn't want to cater to the OP's unwillingness to be alone at all?

Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 15:24

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 27/12/2024 15:20

No way was the gym open Christmas day. Even if it was, why would he not want to be with you?

And yet numerous posters have said their gym was also open. So why it is a “no way”?

People are so strange … why is it even being questioned, when multiple people have also confirmed their gym was in fact open. It’s so boring to keep going over the same irrelevant point.

I actually can’t believe how many have posted on this thread. It’s a bit extreme so please continue arguing between yourselves.

OP posts:
Frangywangywoowah · 27/12/2024 15:24

Good for him.
It's only me and DH at home but I'd have no issue if he went to the gym.
We always walk dog together Christmas Day for about an hour but if he didn't want to come I'd still go on my own.

Chypre · 27/12/2024 15:24

Well I went to the gym as well, Christmas Eve and Boxing Day though. We have a home gym in a garage. I did this because I am neurotic and insecure about my looks/fitness and it is much easier for me to keep the habit going without missing my workouts. I fall off the wagon easily and missing just a couple of workouts over holiday period or vacation can quickly put me in a very dark self-loathing space, causing to miss even more workouts and then it just snowballs. He might be battling a similar crisis.

Fromheretothen · 27/12/2024 15:23

ElangaScores · 27/12/2024 13:53

If it was just me and DH at home on Xmas day, I’d go to the gym too.

So would I probably. BUT I would have the self-awareness to recognise it was Christmas Day and to check with my partner that they didn't mind. It appears that DH doesn't particularly see it as such but IS a special day, and they were spending it together so I'd have at least expected him to ask if it was OK. And to accept a no graciously if that was the answer. He can go all the other days!

biscuitsandbooks · 27/12/2024 15:21

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 27/12/2024 15:20

No way was the gym open Christmas day. Even if it was, why would he not want to be with you?

At least read the thread - OP has said the gym was open.

As for the second comment - he can want to be with OP and go to the gym. Couples don't need to be attached at the hip just because it's Christmas.

Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 15:21

Justsayit123 · 27/12/2024 15:16

He’s told you where his priorities are… what are you going to do?

😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 27/12/2024 15:20

No way was the gym open Christmas day. Even if it was, why would he not want to be with you?

Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 15:19

Shrinkingrose · 27/12/2024 14:18

Ok, I’m sure you can do a day together, that feels quite extreme. And emotionally manipulative.

im afraid I don’t beleive your needs trump his or you get to demand he’s not allowed to do anything he wishes.

Show quote history

Manipulative to who? Strangers on the internet who aren’t my husband?

OP posts:
RupertCampbellBlacksEgo · 27/12/2024 15:19

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 14:16

I’m fine with my own company, I just wanted to spend the full day with my husband. I didn’t want to sit on my own and watch a film.

If you can’t spend one full day together as a couple then ..

Show quote history

Then?
We are childfree and if my husband left the house on Xmas (or any day) it would not be something I gave 1 second of thought to.
Can you elaborate on why he should have stayed in the house all day?

Justsayit123 · 27/12/2024 15:16

He’s told you where his priorities are… what are you going to do?

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 27/12/2024 15:14

TypingoftheDead · 27/12/2024 15:14

A run isn’t the same as saying you’re going somewhere that might not even be open on Christmas Day; granted it wasn’t really the OP’s point, but if their gym wasn’t open then where did he go?

Show quote history

The op has said the gym was definitely open.

MadamDicey · 27/12/2024 15:14

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 13:59

I should have elaborated more but it’s our first Christmas just us, we’re used to bigger family Christmases. And I just didn’t want to be on my own.

For one day I thought he could miss it. He goes pretty much every day (depending on work).

So you wanted him not to do something he enjoys , so you weren't on your own ?
Surely you can see that you are being abit unfair

daffodilandtulip · 27/12/2024 15:14

I'd have been glad of the silence tbh.

FedUp1000 · 27/12/2024 15:14

My exH used to go to the ‘gym’ most days too. He was certainly getting hot and sweaty but not through lifting weights unfortunately.
Hopefully we are all making the wrong assumption here and your DH is just really into health and fitness.
I think he should be able to go out for a while on Christmas Day if he feels he wants to. I’m not sure that your need for him to be with you trumps his need for space and exercise.
edited to add that I saw people out for runs on Xmas day

TypingoftheDead · 27/12/2024 15:14

doodleygirl · 27/12/2024 13:53

I went for a run on Xmas day, didnt for one minute think I shouldn’t.

A run isn’t the same as saying you’re going somewhere that might not even be open on Christmas Day; granted it wasn’t really the OP’s point, but if their gym wasn’t open then where did he go?

Parky04 · 27/12/2024 15:13

ForeverPombear · 27/12/2024 13:55

I think the PureGym near me were open Christmas day. OP I'd be checking to see if the gym he uses was open.

Our PureGym was closed on Christmas day.

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 27/12/2024 15:13

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 14:16

I’m fine with my own company, I just wanted to spend the full day with my husband. I didn’t want to sit on my own and watch a film.

If you can’t spend one full day together as a couple then ..

Show quote history

Ah come on. He went to the gym for what? An hour? It's his Christmas day too and he enjoys the gym.

He really hasn't done anything wrong.

WigglyVonWaggly · 27/12/2024 15:12

I think if he goes nearly every day and the gym was open, it’s unlikely that he’s having a secret fling like some are suggesting and much more likely that he really did go. Exercise becomes a routine and a habit if you go regularly - it makes you feel better, gives you a mood boost and you can be reluctant to miss it. Lots of people go for a walk or a run on Christmas Day. Gyms are usually shut as staff don’t want to work, but I bet if many were open some members would go first thing. If it’s just the two of you with nobody round, he probably felt it was more productive than doing something like Elf for an hour. I guess my only bug with him would be if he took ages as he went smack in the middle of the day and that’s very different to being back by 9/10 am and having the whole day together.

murasaki · 27/12/2024 15:12

He went the the gym after Xmas Dinner??? I could barely get myself to the sofa.

IlooklikeNigella · 27/12/2024 15:12

DH went for a run and I went swimming... Pretty normal here.

Gymmum82 · 27/12/2024 15:10

I went for a run on xmas day and Boxing Day. Had we been at home and not away I would 100% have gone to the gym and not thought twice about it. Some people the gym is their escape

Londonmummy66 · 27/12/2024 15:09

doodleygirl · 27/12/2024 13:53

I went for a run on Xmas day, didnt for one minute think I shouldn’t.

Me too

TooManyChristmasCards · 27/12/2024 15:09

InaChristmastizz · 27/12/2024 15:05

@gannett yes, I agree it’s down to the circle (and ages?) of the people you hang around with.

However, I’m in my late 50’s and I’ve lost count of the numbers of friends or acquaintances I know who’s partner had affairs, inc. my bastard Ex. so it’s more likely based on lived experiences than posters trying to be mean. (Although I accept that this is AIBU)

If you’ve never faced the pain of discovery and the dreadful aftermath of a cheating partner, you won’t necessarily understand why some of us might want to warn other women of some potential signs to look out for. I’ve always been there for my friends but by then, it’s all out in the open. Men who are having affairs will do anything to allow them to text or meet up with their affair partner and they tend to actively avoid spending too much 1:1 time with their actual partner. So ‘nipping out to the gym’, is definitely a potential Red flag to be aware of.

bloody hell, ANYTHING is a potential red flag then.

Who can live like that? If I had a husband so controlling and suspicious, it would drive me insane and I would indeed actively try to avoid spending ANY time with him at all.

For example, anyone who has a dog is a red flag? Dogs need walking several times a day, and ideally a good run too. RED FLAG.

I could go on with every little thing.