Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

OP could have asked him what he planned to do Christmas afternoon if she needed to know the schedule, and if she wanted him to spend the whole day with her she could have expressed that and discussed it. Her needs, expectations and wants do not take priority over his - he had no more responsibility to bring up going to the gym in advance or ask if she was ok than she did to ask him if it was ok to spend the day at home together.

This didn’t require OP’s consent, just a normal “I’m going to go to the gym.” If OP had a schedule conflict or wanted to request he delay, that was her opportunity.

This is the third thread I've seen today where it is the OP's partner who needs the 'red flag, run!' advice from MNetters.

If my gym had been open on Christmas day I would have gone either on .y way to work or on my way home.
Actually, even if I hadn't have worked I would have gone for 90mins tbh.

DH's gym was definitely open Xmas Day. I think I'd rather have known if he planned to go, but wouldn't overly bother me as long as I wasn't the one left doing all the food prep and washing up while he went out.

Exactly!

Typical MN!

I went to the gym on Xmas day. It isn't manned, and any member who pays £10 refundable deposit can have a key. Just noting maybe ops husband's gym is similar. Sorry not rtft.

Christmas Day isn't different or special to everyone though - for many people, it's just another day with an extra-nice meal.

I agree their communication sucks but I don't think it's fair to say he was thoughtless, necessarily, especially if he goes to the gym everyday. OP could have said she didn't want him to go on Christmas Day if it was so important that he was home.

I was going to go to the gym (which was open for the people who may be confused) on Christmas day- but I lost my door access card and the office that sorts those WASN'T open!

Sounds like something that can be sorted with a chat or if you'd discussed it beforehand, or you'll be quietly seething and he'll be obliviously thinking everything is OK and normal.

If he had asked and she's said no you'd be right. But he didn't ask, he didn't mention it, just decided he would go out - when it's not unreasonable for someone to think that Christmas Day was a bit different. People trying to pretend that that's not thoughtless is crazy.

It's not about him going to the gym, it's about him not communicating it. He might go every single other day but Christmas day (birthdays/anniversaries too probably) is different, he's an idiot if he can't process that.

You know the opening hours of every gym in the country, do you?

OP even says she knows the gym was open 🙄

My gym is open on Christmas Day. I did for about one second consider going but I have children so it felt wrong. However in your circumstances it’s completely fine. No different to those doing park run, walk post dinner or a quick pint with their mates before dinner ? I think you are being unreasonable and needy sorry !

Apt of the newer ‘chain’ gyms are only staffed at certain times but members can access 24/7/365 at their own risk.

Well is say if you can’t have a couple of hours apart without falling apart then there’s a Problem. Especially when all you were doing is watching a film. If he’s generally considerate and it’s a good relationship then cannot see the issue. If the gym is a metaphor for your relationship then yes fine to be annoyed but is it actually the gym?

If he goes to the gym everyday he's probably addicted and would feel awful without going. How long was he there for?

There is something wrong with getting upset in this situation. They had done all their planned activities for the day, there weren’t children or guests to be tended, and he does not need permission from OP to go run to the gym, or take a nap, or go for a walk. A person’s desire to go do something alone for a short stretch takes priority over someone wanting them to sit next to them on the sofa or whatever - your partner is not a comfort animal.

If OP were upset because they had something planned or he abandoned her when there was work that had to be done that would be a completely different topic. But she’s not, she specifically said she wanted him to stay with her all day.

If he had left a family gathering or kids at home, I'd have a low opinion of him (albeit slightly envious that I don't have the courage to leave my family gathering to do the same..).

If it was just the two of you, and it's something he does every day, then I don't see the issue. It's clearly an important part of his routine.

Wow this thread is nuts.
I think it’s just a simple miscommunication- you assumed he would skip the gym and he assumed you’d expect him to be going as per usu. no one is right or wrong here.

And don’t see anything wrong with going to the gym, if that’s what someone loves doing why shouldn’t they do it on Christmas Day?

Just have a conversation for next time but I don’t think it’s worth getting too upset over. He would equally be within his rights if you to be upset if you said you didn’t want him to go.

@pineofcone you posted for opinions on the AIBU forum of MN, probably one of the busiest forums on the whole of the internet! And now you’re seemingly a bit irritated that lots of people have replied. It’s a classic case of “AIBU?”, most posters say “yes”, so OP flounces. If you don’t want opinions, don’t ask for them. You’re coming across as rather needy and sulky.

There's more than one gym

Loads of people run or do some other kind of exercise on Christmas Day. This wouldn’t bother me. It’s supposed to be an enjoyable day so why not do something you enjoy.

Lots of gyms are open on Christmas Day. It's simple enough for a member of staff to unlock the shutters and allow access when its PIN code operated. I don't understand why some posters are so puzzled by this. I don't see the harm in him going to the gym for a couple of hours. Christmas Day inside can be quite tedious.

I don’t see the issue if it was just for an hour or two. I went for a run on Xmas day for an hour or so, we still had plenty of time together and I felt better for doing it.

For those saying gyms weren’t open, some definitely were. My friends son and nephew went and were late home for dinner which my friend wasn’t pleased about.

Couldn't you have gone to the gym too?

It's the new 'cancel the cheque'

😆