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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

360 replies

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 13:51

We did Christmas just the two of us. We don’t have children and our families live in different countries.

We did presents, watched a film, cooked dinner and then he said he was off to the gym. He is very much into the gym, goes pretty much every day.

He couldn’t understand why I was annoyed that he couldn’t just miss one day. Aibu?

OP posts:
CulturalNomad · 27/12/2024 20:45

He should have at least said, I fancy popping to the gym, is it ok if I go?

But why should an adult have to ask permission to do something completely mundane like exercise? Would he need to ask permission to read a book for an hour or take a nap?

If you switched things around and the OP started a thread saying that her husband resented her going to the gym after spending the whole day alone together I can guarantee words like "controlling" and "red flag" would be used to describe his behaviour.

Winterskyfall · 27/12/2024 20:37

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:52

How did I make him feel bad about it?

Show quote history

"He couldn’t understand why I was annoyed that he couldn’t just miss one day."

Your exact words.

Winterskyfall · 27/12/2024 20:35

Stravaig · 27/12/2024 16:12

This is the third thread I've seen today where it is the OP's partner who needs the 'red flag, run!' advice from MNetters.

Agreed!

Incognitoburrito88 · 27/12/2024 20:03

I didn’t this year but have previously been for a run on Christmas Day or out on my bike. I’d have been pleased to have the house to myself for a bit.

Zone2NorthLondon · 27/12/2024 20:01

TheHateIsNotGood · 27/12/2024 19:26

Just buy him bits of home gym for every birthday and xmas until he's got enough of a home gym to work out on (or you break up), you out-gym the guy and be better at 'gymming' than he is (and break up).

Insist on a male masseur to warm your muscles up for a xmas treat during his xmas gymming time.

What a nonsensical post? Is it a joke
The person who should be running away is him

TheHateIsNotGood · 27/12/2024 19:26

Just buy him bits of home gym for every birthday and xmas until he's got enough of a home gym to work out on (or you break up), you out-gym the guy and be better at 'gymming' than he is (and break up).

Insist on a male masseur to warm your muscles up for a xmas treat during his xmas gymming time.

GravyBoatWars · 27/12/2024 19:25

I'm with you why is one day chilling together such a hard ship?

Why is an hour apart in a day of togetherness such a hardship?

OP’s wants (and yours) are not the default that he needs to justify or negotiate any departure from. It’s perfectly reasonable to want a short stretch of time alone during a day that’s otherwise full of togetherness. Begrudging your partner that just because it’s not your own preference is selfish.

buttonousmaximous · 27/12/2024 19:17

I'm with you why is one day chilling together such a hard ship? What if you had suggested a walk together?

It sounds like he a bit obsessed with exercise.

Also are you planning to have children? I'd imagine if you do he will still want his own agenda

jannier · 27/12/2024 18:37

I would have suggested a walk or something instead.

SporadicMincePieMuncher · 27/12/2024 18:34

I'm quite envious that his gym was open. I go much less than he does and I really fancied going for a workout in the afternoon to shift all that stodge!

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 27/12/2024 18:23

The thing is if he goes every single day virtually without fail then surely it would have been a given he would go today?

Blakethedrake · 27/12/2024 18:18

I am genuinely not getting it? What is the issue? Would it have been different if he’d wanted to go for a run? Christmas can be quite boring

PeloMom · 27/12/2024 18:15

@pineofcone how long was he gone for?

Mia184 · 27/12/2024 18:14

I have some friends who are doing the „Festive 500“, meaning they will be cycling 500 kilometers between Christmas eve and New Years Eve. I guess their partners won‘t be seeing them often until the new year.
OP, how long did he stay at the gym?

talkingheadz · 27/12/2024 18:14

What a fuss about nothing - from your attitude on here OP I can totally see why he went to the gym.

MerryLiftMass · 27/12/2024 17:59

My DH has trained on Christmas Day before now, as soon as the kids are grown I will be doing the same.

I don’t think he has done anything wrong, you could have gone with him if you wanted. Exercise is good for everyone.

Bettergetthebunker · 27/12/2024 17:55

I wonder if this is a one off or whether there is a bigger issue of not feeling the priority often here?

Wordau · 27/12/2024 17:55

It was shit of him

He should have at least said, I fancy popping to the gym, is it ok if I go? Or do you fancy coming too?

Same with anyone on Christmas day should be considerate.

Then you would have been able to discuss.

Justlurking10 · 27/12/2024 17:53

My Gym was closed however I can believe some are open. If he tracks his workouts then easiest way to know he went would be to check Strava or Garmin etc 🤣
Kids had other plans Xmas day so I went for a hike with a friend. Best Xmas day in ages 👌
If he was only gone an hour or so then I can’t see the issue personally x

Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:52

ShortyShorts · 27/12/2024 17:47

Yes, so don't make him feel bad about it.

He popped to the gym, not the top of Ben Nevis.

Show quote history

How did I make him feel bad about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:52

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 27/12/2024 17:45

I bet he didn’t for the rest of the day though!

Show quote history

Based on what?

OP posts:
Sossijiz · 27/12/2024 17:50

Why shouldn't he go to the gym?

ShortyShorts · 27/12/2024 17:47

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:30

And he did exactly what he wanted?

Show quote history

Yes, so don't make him feel bad about it.

He popped to the gym, not the top of Ben Nevis.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 27/12/2024 17:45

pineofcone · 27/12/2024 17:30

And he did exactly what he wanted?

Show quote history

I bet he didn’t for the rest of the day though!

ZippyCat · 27/12/2024 17:43

Me and dp have been together 8 years we haven't ever spent Christmas day apart because we don't want to , but if he wanted to do something I wouldn't mind

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