Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

I think who are are gym rats or generally into fitness would attend on Christmas Day if their gym open. I don't see the issue with it.

Did you actually speak to him about your expectations, or plans for the day? Did he tell you in advance that he was planning on going to the gym?

Tbh, this sounds like you could both communicate better.

Could you join him at the gym?

If you can’t spend one full day together as a couple then ..

You didn't finish the sentence. Finish it, in your head - then what?
Do you mean to say "...then there is no point being a couple" or similar?
Do you want to separate?

You need to talk to him, about how you feel, about what your needs are. And next time, make sure you have this conversation in advance so you both know what to expect. Communication essential to happy relationships.

If your needs are incompatible, then you may need to separate. Or it may just be that he didn't realise how important it was to you to spend the whole day together, because you didn't tell him.

I did park run on Christmas day and so did 1000 others in my town. It meant Christmas day stresses started after 10.30am in our house!

@gannett yes, I agree it’s down to the circle (and ages?) of the people you hang around with.

However, I’m in my late 50’s and I’ve lost count of the numbers of friends or acquaintances I know who’s partner had affairs, inc. my bastard Ex. so it’s more likely based on lived experiences than posters trying to be mean. (Although I accept that this is AIBU)

If you’ve never faced the pain of discovery and the dreadful aftermath of a cheating partner, you won’t necessarily understand why some of us might want to warn other women of some potential signs to look out for. I’ve always been there for my friends but by then, it’s all out in the open. Men who are having affairs will do anything to allow them to text or meet up with their affair partner and they tend to actively avoid spending too much 1:1 time with their actual partner. So ‘nipping out to the gym’, is definitely a potential Red flag to be aware of.

My DH and 18yr old DS are gym obsessed and they both went together on Christmas morning. I think they’re bonkers but each to their own lol. They came back, showered and we were straight out for Christmas lunch.
I think if DH and I were by ourselves he may consider it but I think he’d asked if I minded and as long as it was only 1-1:5hrs or something I’d be fine with it.
I will never fully understand that training/gum mentality but to them, it’s their enjoyment and they love it.
Neither my DH or DS drink so this is something they really enjoy in their day.

Fwiw, I work for a media company that broadcasts 24/7 and I could have gone to my work gym on Christmas Day. The company's campus is open round the clock and the gym would have been available, unmanned. I also used to go to an Anytime Fitness which like PP said was accessible to members 24/7, unstaffed.

I went for a run on Christmas Day, what's wrong with that?
Obviously not first thing in the morning, did kids presents all morning, walk the dog, had lunch, it's a family day, but you can still take 1 hour to do something you enjoy. Any kid could have come running with me but they don't like it 😂
There were a lot of families outside, but a lot of runners on their own too, and the weather was crap.

If you can’t spend one full day together as a couple then ..
depends on the day, for me you were not actually doing anything? I mean, if you'd been intimate in bed all day, it would be offensive.
If you had plans, or were doing something, it would be unfriendly.
You had presents, food, watch tv. Going to they gym sounds perfectly reasonable.

Would you feel different if he had gone in the bath for 1 hour? Would YOU have gone in the bath for 1 hour?

OP, he likes exercising, that's normal and frankly a big positive for many people.
What do YOU like? What do you do without him, hobby, sport? You need your own space too.

No. It's all a lie. We're all having an affairs. No one could possibly want to exercise on Xmas Day.

Do you always guilt trip? You sound quite manipulative. If he can't have one hour to himself on Christmas without you calling in to question your whole relationship then.... (to use your manipulative method of getting a point across)

This is something I’d do. There are plenty of gyms open on Xmas day. It was a couple of hours, I can’t understand what the problem is.

If he went instead of opening presents or cooking then I would be annoyed but honestly I think it's fine.. But you really need to discuss this together.

How long was he gone for?

if he buggered off for the remainder of Christmas Day, he's a selfish git.

If he went for an hour or 90 mins and then returned straight away showered and changed then that's more acceptable and no different to doing a run.

You've only given half the story though. You said you "cooked the dinner" and then he went out, which is really weird timing.

Did he just announce he was going out and expected you to hang around waiting for him to get back from the gym before you could sit down together and eat? or had you agreed when you'd eat, and he was going to the gym in between prepping and eating?

I see nothing wrong with it. People on Christmas Day walks, runs and swims.

did you want to go with him?

You shouldn't be with someone who goes to the gym every day if you don't like being with someone who goes to the gym every day. It's not fair to him and it's a nonsensical choice for you. You're just not compatible.

Not being able to enjoy your own company for a couple of hours is a bit of a worry too.

Why? He’d go for a run whilst I was out, no doubt. The gym would be lovely and quiet, we’d both be home for a Xmas dinner. Some people enjoy exercise. Is that hard to understand?

Our gym opens at Christmas, it's self entry with a key card.

I have been to the gym on Christmas day before. Unfortunately the gym (puregym) was closed (and the other 3 around as well). Otherwise I would have been there too (even though I am a mummy with small children). I love a good Christmas workout and find that I feel better and am more pleasant to be around if I have worked out (at the moment can't run and am waiting to buy a bike in the new year so can't do either of those)... I don't think he is unreasonable- even if you had small kids or 2 or so people over

Saw so many joggers on Christmas day but that was very early.

My ex h would have defo gone to the gym if he could have but in the morning.

I saw a fair few people out jogging on Christmas day, some people like exercise or want to exercise when they are eating more. I don't get the problem, he spent most of the day with you. My husband and I went out for a walk on Christmas, if he hadn't wanted to go I would have gone alone and if he got annoyed about me wanting to get some exercise I would be super annoyed.

So your wants trump his, when his are quite reasonable? Did you sulk?

I can’t see the issue, you’ve done lots of nice things together Christmas Day and he wanted a small window of time to do something else he loves. You could have always gone with him but I find it rather strange that he couldn’t have a couple of hours to himself.

I can see both sides of this one.
You've said he enjoys the gym and goes everyday normally - so from his point of view why wouldn't he go?? It's something that's' his 'thing'. Nothing wrong with that.

On the other hand I can see why Christmas day is special to you and you wanted the whole day with him.

Did you communicate to him in advance what your expectation was for Xmas day? Did you even discuss it or did you just assume he might give the gym a miss? It sounds like you did do some nice things together so did you make any specific plan for the tow of you for the whole day (even if that was just watching the TV - was that talked about ahead of time?)

Hopefully that part of the day you did spend together was good - if so - try to just focus on that bit - not the part of the day you were alone.

“Also it doesn’t sound like he missed much?” - Bit unnecessary!!! Why the barbed comment???