Pregnant after two months - keep it?

Was this an ''accident'' on purpose because of tick ticking biological clock?

The overseas student may want to marry as it might get him a visa or right to remain

But look hard into the legalities, as if he decides to go back to his home country, he might be allowed to take the child with him.

You're 36, really want the baby and was considering lone parenting... Have the baby!
He may come round, he may not but I wouldn't abort my baby to keep him.

Even if it is a special relationship, it's been two months and you're already on different pages about kids. If you want a baby and don't keep this one for him, if you then don't end up being able to have another one "at the right time" you'll resent him and it will no longer be a special relationship.

You need to think about what you want for your life, and if being a single mother is better than not being a mum to keep a man around.

Keep the baby if you both feel like your relationship is strong and your in it for the long haul. I had a termination after being in a relationship for 6 months. Me and and my partner both regret our decision. We have two beautiful children now 7 years later, but it does really haunt me a lot and we never talk about it.

It's not true that at 35 women are infertile etc.
I know plenty of women who conceived in their late 30s for the first time and had 2 children.

@BetsyBrowny I was being tongue-in-cheek. Was that your only take-away from my post?

Are you really suggesting this is a cheaper option than a sperm donor? And therefore a 'winner'?😕

Is the timing as bad as he says? You said he's finishing his masters, will he be done when the baby comes? Then you'll be on mat leave so that's almost two years where you could do the majority of the work. Lots of time to get settled.

You want a baby. Do not abort a baby for a man that could run away at any time. I’m mid 30s too and I would keep a baby now. This could be your one and only chance for one.

You either keep the baby or keep the man.
It’s very unlikely you can have both.

If you are so desperate for a baby, then I would keep it.

You do not know this man at all and have no idea whether it’s a potential long term thing or not, because you literally don’t know anything about him and likely haven’t seen his true self yet.

Chances are, even without getting pregnant, the relationship wouldn’t last and so definitely don’t base keeping the baby on keeping this relationship.

Ask yourself how you would feel if you aborted the baby and the man left when his visa ran out, or decided this relationship just wasn’t what he wanted?

Decide what you want re the baby, not the man, because he will make his own decisions and they may or may not align with yours.

The baby is within your control, he is not. Follow your heart on what outcome you’ll be happiest with and he can do the same

Don't often see such obvious solutions to these posts - keep the baby OP! You were going to do it alone anyway, prior to meeting this guy, so really you're just saving yourself the expense of that process.

Imo - the man's input on these situations should be 'I'll support you, whatever you choose' cos ultimately he's able to just fuckittybye at any point with ZERO impact on his life, not so much as a sleepless night. On that basis I'm wondering if he's as great as you think 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fwiw - I'm pro-choice so not coming from that angle at all (& there will be ppl come at you all doe eyed saying to keep it just cos they are anti-abortion fucknuggets). Just seems so clear what you should do in this situation for you.

If he didn't want a baby what birth control was he using?
Is he going to be financially responsible and help pay for his child for 18 years?

Please don't say you got pregnant on purpose to try to keep him. Did you discuss birth control together?

Are you going to be happy keeping a baby that may be a reminder of a man who disappears?

I'd talk this over with a counsellor at a centre that offers terminations.

To you want to be tied to him forever?
Do you want to have to tell your child they don't have a dad and he didn't want them?
Can you do it all alone? Financially, emotionally, physically.
You have to have the final say but I'd be interested to know if he used contraception, thought you were in something or just didn't think. I know it's not. 100% but it is 0% protective if nothing is used so neither can be shocked.

If you want the baby, keep the baby. Don't ever have an abortion to please a man, especially one you've only known a few weeks!

But be completely clear-eyed about the fact that he may well decide he doesn't want to stick around for any of it.

If you do have the child do not name the father on the birth certificate and apply for a passport asap - given he is not a British National you need to protect yourself against any future issues

I honestly don't know what I'd do.

Things to consider:
If he is from a different country, what if he was to take the child there and not return, would the law help you? (Shengen?...is that what I'm thinking of).
Child maintenance. He is responsible for this regardless of whether he chooses to be involved as a parent.
How well do you really know this guy to potentially have him in your life for the next 18 years? 2 months is such a short timeframe and you really don't know him at all if he decides to actually be involved.
Maternity leave/future earnings. You say you don't earn tons, so what's the plan for mat leave. Do you have savings to cover the drop in income unless your employer pays enhanced mat pay?

This is good advice

I'd keep it.

I've been a single parent since ds was 13 months.

A baby in a stable loving relationship with 2 parents who were planning their lives together with their children.

Nothing is guaranteed. And I think if at 36 you want to be a mum then you have what a baby needs - mothers love.

Whatever you do , do not abort the baby to keep the man.

I very much agree with this.

I’d have a baby as a single parent.

I’d keep it as long as I could cope alone.

Make decisions on the fact that you will be a single mum.

Don't make decisions either way based on the father.

2 months is nothing and very much the honeymoon phase where you don't know each other and it could all go tits up at any time.

In your situation I would sway towards keeping the pregnancy.

given your age and the fact that you want DC, I would keep it. But be prepared to be a single parent.