Pregnant after two months - keep it?

Absolutely keep the baby - you will regret it otherwise. He may or may not work out but you will have this baby by your side regardless. It will be tough, of course, but a lot of 'stable healthy happy' relationships don't withstand children. Go for it! X

I can understand your worries OP but based on what you have said your 36, want to be a Mum and are considering going solo they are big pros to keeping it. How would you feel if you abort and then the relationship broke down anyway? Then you would have neither. A baby is a big thing but you sound like you would be a lovely Mum. My situation was 4 months in and I felt the same but my Mum was wonderful and supportive. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in a loss and made me certain I wanted children. I struggled to conceive but when I did I was so grateful. Mull it over as the Internet can't decide. I would have a big chat with your Mum about support and who you have around you. But you can do this if you want to 💓

Absolutely right.

This is a selfish woman ''I want a BABY'' {No thoughts about how she will navigate an angry teen who will likely be fatherless.

She leapt on the first available sperm maker..I would bet that she's ''tracking ovulation'' to have sex with a view to getting pregnant, rather than to avoid pregnancy.

She has chosen a man who could well married in Nigeria who had a child already.

He's not keen to produce another human being with OP.

It's basic sperm banditry , with no thought to the child who in 20 years could be insecure with no dad on the scene.

It's desperately immature in my opinion, without thought to the future.

This. It was very clearly in the back of your mind that you wanted a baby, and you weren't using contraception, so....

Your relationship is highly unlikely to work now, so you need to decide whether you want to be a single parent. With minimal support from the father I would expect.

If you want a baby keep the baby. I conceived first time at 37 and then couldn’t conceive again for three years. I honestly thought I was SO fertile. I was not.

@BettyOops89 how old is he?

I agree with everything you've written.

It's really hard but honestly, I think there is less than 0 chance your relationship will survive if you have a termination. Unfortunately that ship has sailed.

The only question for you is whether or not you want to keep the baby. The relationship is done with either way.

I only read the OP and updates.

if I wanted a baby so much that I was considering going solo, I wouldn’t abort this pregnancy.

I would also think very hard about going solo now, not putting the father on the BC, and not continuing in the relationship, because in those few posts from @BettyOops89 there have been several red flags 🚩 about him. One of which his lack of contraceptive care/ safe sex. He already has a child from not taking precautions! How many more children is he willing to create just to avoid wearing a condom!? And that child could create another red flag. And that the relationship is so short and you see a future- has he been love-bombing, or future faking you?

This.

Personally I see it as my duty as a mother to ensure as far as possible that my child has a decent and involved father. I’m really shocked at the number of women who don’t see this as a priority and seem to prioritise their own want for a baby over the wellbeing of a future child.

Now of course men should take responsibility and not have unprotected sex if they don’t want to be a father, but I recognise I cannot control that, I can only control my own part in the situation and I don’t think the poor behaviour of men absolves me of any moral duty to give my child a stable family and the best start possible.

I wouldn’t continue a pregnancy with a man if known two months who’s clearly an asshole. I don’t think that would be fair on a future child and continuing the pregnancy would be prioritising my own wants over the child’s needs. At 36 it’s likely the OP still has a good few years to conceive and even using a sperm donor is quite clearly a better potential start for a child than this.

The father can't "take you to court" to change the name.

You have absolutely no idea if that is true. My husband probably would be but I have no interest in becoming a grandmother. And I certainly wouldn't be coo'ing with enthusiasm if I had a daughter and she'd been as irresponsible as the OP has been.

I agree although I would give baby dads surname as a middle name to help them feel connected to that side of the family (especially if you're white op it will be important for identity) if dads name is a middle name and he takes you to court to change it they're less likely to say no

Amongst all the rosy tinted advice on here, if you do decide to continue with the pregnancy this is the most immediately important. The baby is potentially at risk of congenital herpes, gonorrhea and syphilis.

They'll be so excited to get a grandchild

This.
It's easy to add him onto the birth certificate later if he is a proper dad but it's basically impossible to remove him

Just because you easily got pregnant this time does not mean that you will again.
Keep your baby. Your relationship will work out the way it works out.
He chose to be intimate with you knowing that he had a child else where. Contraception or not intercourse can = pregnancy.
Have your baby.

Keep.

What? No. They exist to give the pregnant person options.

Surely no one that isn't happy to get pregnant relies solely on tracking cycles?! You can get pregnant at literally any time of the month and anyone telling you differently hasn't spoken to literally a handful of people about when they got pregnant.

Where is he from. You don't know him well. If this turns nasty and he wants the child to also visit and know his family would you be ok with doing that for at least 18years? Would you be able to send your child to where he's from for weeks on end all the time?

You don't know him, but you know that he makes a good effort with his current child so what's stopping him from doing the same with this one despite what he says?

YOU want a child, but what is in the best interests for the future of this child.

@BettyOops89 - you have to decide re keeping the baby based on going it alone. Your feelings for this man don’t really make sense and you have no real idea whether he is a long-term prospect; in fact, everything suggests he is not.

Also, you’ve been very casual with your sexual health having unprotected sex with a man you’ve only just got together with. I came of age when contracting HIV+ was a death sentence so it’s hard for me to understand how people can be so casual. The situation has improved by there are still STIs out there that can do real harm if untreated. You need to get tested for STIs and treated ASAP if any are present.

I would keep it. Especially if always wanted to be a mum.and was prepared to do it solo.

They exist to give women options. It sounds as though the OP wants a child, and has wanted to be a mother her whole life.