Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being uptight?

155 replies

MyPurpleHeart · 27/12/2024 12:50

Would like a bit of perspective please

I'm currently in another country with the in laws for Xmas. We come here from Xmas Eve to the 2nd Jan. DH only gets to come over a few times a year so we stay the whole way through

The family is massive, 20 adults and only 3 kids, and we have DD 19 months. They are night time people, they will sleep in till around 2pm and then nap in the afternoons and literally stay up all night drinking, playing games and chatting. This morning as I was taking DD down for breakfast DH passed us going up to bed at 8am

I have always struggled with these late nights, every once in a while I can do but consistently late nights kills me. Before we had DD I did my best but would come home exhausted.

My problem is, DD is a standard 19 month old. Up at 7, lunchtime nap, bed at 7. I pushed this out a few hours xmas eve and xmas day but paid for it yesterday as she was a nightmare. So it means that we hardly see the family, and DH much to my frustration. I'm in another country with none of our home comforts, trying to entertain a bored toddler as best I can with absolutely no help. There's feck all to do round here so I'm driving for hours to take her out for walks and lunches to fill the day.

The family also don't seem to understand her bedtime, and whilst they are lovely people, they make comments every night that she's going to bed too early and I have to defend my position. I also get the same comments when I go to bed before them because I'm shattered from looking after DD all day

I work full time in a very stressful job and looked forward to a Xmas break. It doesn't feel like much of a break and I just want to go home so we can at least potter about the house and watch movies without tiptoeing around trying not to wake up adults sleeping the day away.

Am I being uptight about the whole thing? I honestly feel like the fucking nanny to my own child

OP posts:
Strawberries86 · 27/12/2024 13:00

It sounds like your DP is regressing and forgotten he’s a dad! Wake the twat up and hand dd over to him. He can’t opt out of parenting.

MumChp · 27/12/2024 12:59

I would tbh be looking up next plane home.

MyPurpleHeart · 27/12/2024 12:57

I don't know what they are all like in their day to day lives but whenever the family get together it's like this. Up until this year they would sit down for Xmas dinner at 9pm. I told them DD isn't doing that so they moved it earlier for her.

In 12 years I've never known any of them to go to bed before 12pm, ever!

OP posts:
Runningoutofthyme · 27/12/2024 12:56

this is so weird, can your dh not suggest some day time trips out to his family?
why isn’t he spending time with his dc?

Onlyvisiting · 27/12/2024 12:54

Yanbu! That isn't enjoying lste nights, that's fecking nocturnal! And totally to reasonable to expect a toddler to adapt to that much of a disruption to her routine, so it is pretty shot of your DH to just leave it all to you.
But I'm fascinated/horrified by their routine, is it just on holidays or are they always like this? Do none of them have jobs or school during the year when they need to keep more normal hours?

Swipe left for the next trending thread