To think it's rude/odd to be making notes during a family group video call?

Probably you and op is slagging you right off

I cannot STAND group video calls. They are for work only imo. They're so awkward and dull. It's not the same as picking up the phone and just talking to a person and then they pass it to the next person. It's not a bloody work conference it's a phone call and the only reason it's done as a group is because people can't be arsed with the art of the phone call these days.

When my FIL died we found he had files for all family and friends in which he noted important details of previous calls and conversations ,
ie having an operation for x on x
Going on holiday to x
Baby due in x
Studying x at x uni
He was a lawyer and most likely ND, was a bit taken aback finding it all but I think it was his way of caring and keeping up to date as he always remembered to ask, how was your holiday to x, has your mum recovered from her hip replacement etc
He also kept cards, photos and letters from that person in their file too.

Someone should’ve asked. In my family, someone would go ‘What you doing there Sarah? Taking notes or something?’

Video family call 😱 I would feign a blinding headache. Absolute hell!
Not the point I know. But yes, odd to take notes. I would have asked though.

Was she doodling or making notes? How's her memory?

Oh no! I'm wondering if it was me😄. I was on a group chat with my in-laws earlier, and I was writing a shopping list because DH was heading out after the call to get last min bits for a dinner we are hosting tonight.

Oh I definitely need to do that too! Probs a minor anxiety soothing thing, you’re right.

My wonky brain can’t deal with online conversations, the communication pipes just don’t work. I’ve put it down to needing the other sensory stimuli, a floating head on a screen doesn’t give me the body language and other clues I need to get the words to make sense. To recall later who said what when I need to piece together the room we were in, what jumper she was wearing, what chair I was on…all sorts of nonsense. I can look at my doodle pad or knitting or whatever for help with that too.

She was probably just doodling.

No, thank YOU. It’s nice to be able to tell people and be met receptively. I am very aware that my needs are mine and not for everyone else to accommodate but I worry a lot about seeming rude. I remember when I was at school and a teacher mentioned women knitting at the Nuremberg trails as an example of their cruelty and disdain for the court but I was thinking “maybe they’re just trying to listen’. Not that the teacher was necessarily wrong - just an example of how I have a different response to these things.

I would make the assumption that she was taking minutes and would ask her for a copy of them, in case there are some Action Points that you need to address!

If she was just writing her shopping list or something unconnected to the call, I think it's a bit rude (or at least she should move her camera so people can't see she is doing it ...)

But, if she's like my husband who has a dreadful memory he needs to write things down - so stuff like "sister's new dog is called Rex", "mum going for follow up hospital appointment on the 15th" or they will simply go out of his head and people think he is uncaring.

Well nobody on here was on this group call were they - so why not just ask the individual involved?

I did just wonder that. I feel very awkward in any cam-based situations. Maybe it's the equivalent of dining out alone and playing on your phone/reading a book to make you more comfortable?

She was probably just doodling, which I think is totally fine on what I presume is an informal call with family. Tbh I think it’s a bit weird you even noticed.

My sister was writing down presents for thank you letters - that's a completely normal thing to do!

I presume she was doodling

I have to do something with my hands to be able to concentrate. I have ADHD but I don’t think it’s limited to having it. I struggle particularly hard with online group calls - social and work - so will doodle, write lists, knit etc. I will still miss things because I struggle so much with online meetings/ups overall, but the miss rate will be 30% rather than 70% 😆 I know some people will notice and think I’m rude but I’m really trying to be the opposite. Well mostly, sometimes I’m just rattly and can’t do it at all but I’ll catch myself on and tell them that

I can think of any,her of reasons someone's jotting.

They are making a list for themselves
They are listening to what people say the like/enjoy for future gift ideas
Making notes of what people say they are doing to remember to ask about them/ wish them luck
Doodling as need to doodle to focus

But I can't think of any reason someone else writing whilst on a call would bother me enough to be thinking about it once call ended.

YABU