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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not tolerate bullshit from family, just because they're blood?

37 replies

tweedledee12 · 27/12/2024 12:38

I have three siblings - there is a clear split between us, and we are each very different - although used to be exceptionally close, now less so.

From social media and tv, it looks at though everybody gets on reasonably well - or at least muddle through as they're family and it's Christmas.

I just cannot stomach a sibling - their attitude towards my parents, towards me, towards anybody who dares disagree with them it awful! Their outlook is very bitter, jealous and mean - despite us all having the same upbringing.

I haven't had contact for almost 2 years - AIBU to think that this is more common than we perhaps realise? Maybe Christmas makes these things more obvious.

OP posts:
Acinonyx2 · 27/12/2024 13:14

Like a pp - I think it would all or nothing with the entire set - I don't' think I can pick and choose who to go nc with. I don't want to go nc with my sister - although that relationship is also difficult...

WellsAndThistles · 27/12/2024 13:12

I have extremely low contact with my sister and her family. Bunch of arrogant know it all's.

We occasionally have to sit through Xmas dinner together at our parents but I've managed to avoid that this year.

Once our parents are no longer here I would expect our paths will only cross at funerals.

We've never 'fell out' I just don't like them or wish to spent my precious free time with them.

Original poster
tweedledee12 · 27/12/2024 13:09

Acinonyx2 · 27/12/2024 13:05

I feel your pain OP. get family-envy when people seem to get together and actually enjoy a family Xmas. It's unfathomable. I had a terrible fight with my brother just before Xmas - sort of thing there is just no way back from. But has been difficult for decades. Everything that comes out of his mouth just pushes all my buttons. I'm low contact with most. Can't quite bring myself to go no contact.

So sorry to hear that!

What is stopping you going NC if I may ask?

My sibling changed massively and went from quite a cheery person, to being very critical of others, jealous and always trying to be better - all characteristics I cannot stomach. Even behaving this way towards my parents, criticising their home for DIY jobs not being professional etc when his house is in a state, half the value on a terrible estate.

OP posts:
Changingplace · 27/12/2024 13:08

Yeah really common, just because you’re family doesn’t mean you have to get on.

I see my brother regularly but have nothing in common with my sister and only see her at wider family events - literally weddings or funerals, it’s actually not a big deal, we will chat if we happen to see each other but don’t keep in touch otherwise, it’s no drama.

Acinonyx2 · 27/12/2024 13:05

I feel your pain OP. get family-envy when people seem to get together and actually enjoy a family Xmas. It's unfathomable. I had a terrible fight with my brother just before Xmas - sort of thing there is just no way back from. But has been difficult for decades. Everything that comes out of his mouth just pushes all my buttons. I'm low contact with most. Can't quite bring myself to go no contact.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 27/12/2024 13:05

@tweedledee12

I get in well with one sibling, the other I would happily never see again. Unfortunately I feel like I would be the one to lose out on wider family occasions if I were to go NC. As well as this we share a parent and I am the one who would be shut out and isolated on yearly events. So to suit myself it's 4 times a year at parents house, no meeting up outside of that and no phone contact.

Original poster
tweedledee12 · 27/12/2024 13:03

Hellskitchen24 · 27/12/2024 12:59

Yes it’s common. I have a very dysfunctional family and half of us fall out and don’t speak to each other. I’ve not spoken to my brother in probably 12 years and realistically never will again. I get on well with my sisters and I’m super close to my mum. Not close to my dad at all, hardly see him. I’m no contact with my aunt.

Tbh I don’t know many people with “perfect” social media families in real life, the total opposite actually!

Are there never situations where you and your brother are together?

How would you deal with walking past them in the street / supermarket?

OP posts:
Original poster
tweedledee12 · 27/12/2024 12:59

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 27/12/2024 12:54

I am also in a challenging dysfunctional family situation - I totally get you but I am low contact as opposed to no contact.

Low contact seems reasonable - siblings?

I mean if I saw my brother out, I would literally ignore him as if he doesn't exist yet when everybody is speaking warmly about their family, I feel that IABU for being that way. I am certain it would be reciprocated - said sibling didn't even congratulate me when I had my first baby and they walked passed us.

OP posts:
Hellskitchen24 · 27/12/2024 12:59

Yes it’s common. I have a very dysfunctional family and half of us fall out and don’t speak to each other. I’ve not spoken to my brother in probably 12 years and realistically never will again. I get on well with my sisters and I’m super close to my mum. Not close to my dad at all, hardly see him. I’m no contact with my aunt.

Tbh I don’t know many people with “perfect” social media families in real life, the total opposite actually!

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 27/12/2024 12:54

I am also in a challenging dysfunctional family situation - I totally get you but I am low contact as opposed to no contact.

Original poster
tweedledee12 · 27/12/2024 12:40

Newmum738 · 27/12/2024 12:39

Yes, I think it's actually fairly common despite what you see on social media!

In real life - I guess I haven't spoken to anybody about it - like how I really feel. I literally despise the sibling.

OP posts:
Newmum738 · 27/12/2024 12:39

Yes, I think it's actually fairly common despite what you see on social media!

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