Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bed share with my toddler?

31 replies

graygoose · 27/12/2024 12:20

I’m a single mum, ex-DH and I split up when DC was 10 weeks old - she’s 14 months now. For the last few months she’s slept in the bed with me as it’s been easier than getting out of bed to see to her in the crib. She’s an uneasy sleeper and I find it better for both of our sleep.

My friend was horrified when I told her, she seemed to think that it’ll screw up my DC somehow and she’ll be in my bed until she goes off to uni. I know I probably need to sleep train her or something but I don’t share a bed with anyone else so it’s not like I have a romantic relationship to keep alive.

I do plan to wean her off this eventually, transition her to a small bed and then to her own room but right now she’s just so little. But am I spoiling her by bed sharing and not sleep training her?

AIBU to bed share?

OP posts:
Edenmum2 · 27/12/2024 12:29

Your friend needs to wind her neck in

Baileysfeverdream · 27/12/2024 12:29

I co-slept woth my DD till she was about 8, when she decided she'd sleep in her own bed. It worked really well for us - I'm a single parent too, though it was nice to get my own bed back!

I think lots of families have bed hopping at niggt, where toddlers start of in their own beds then get in with parents, I really don't think it damages them at all. Sleeping together is more 'natural' human behaviour then all family members in their own room.

Do what works for you and your DD, and ignore your judgey friend.

DarkAndTwisties · 27/12/2024 12:28

My friend was horrified when I told her, she seemed to think that it’ll screw up my DC somehow

She needs to get a grip.

Robin223 · 27/12/2024 12:25

We’ve unintentionally ended up bed sharing with our toddler. We didn’t cosleep until after he was 1, because I could cope with crap sleep on mat leave. He’s a rubbish sleeper and we both have demanding jobs, so it’s the only way to get any decent stints of sleep. It’s not ideal and I’d love him to stay in his cot all night, but I don’t think it’s a big problem. We have no plans to sleep train so it’s either this or spent all night going to and fro.

BarbaraHoward · 27/12/2024 12:25

Of course not. I hate bed sharing and never did it but a friend did until her DD was well over 3. Whatever works for you.

TellmethestoryofO · 27/12/2024 12:25

No harm in it at all, in fact I think it's hugely beneficial if it enables both of you to get a good nights sleep!
We co slept with both of ours, they're now nine and four and sleep perfectly well in their own beds.
Ignore your friend Smile