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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the child should have the room?

85 replies

YellowDoorYellowFloor · 27/12/2024 11:52

I visited an old school friend over Christmas who I will call Hannah.

Hannah lives in a modern town house-type home- bottom floor open plan living/dining room with separate kitchen, middle floor master bedroom with en suite, 2nd reasonable sized room and a 4th bedroom which is really a box room then on the top floor another good sized bedroom and a fair sized landing area with great natural light.

Hannah has 2 DC, aged 10 and 8. The 10 yr old has the reasonable sized room on the middle floor, and the 8yr old is in the box room. The room on the top floor has a bed in for guests and a desk for Hannah for her hobby (neither Hannah nor her DH work from home).

The room the 8yr old is in is so small literally it’s just a single bed and a chest of drawers- no wardrobe, no space for toys or to play (although he does have toys downstairs)

AIBU to be surprised you’d leave one of your children in such a tiny room when there is an alternative?

(I am aware her house, her choices but I really felt for the child. They are very middle class and the children are clearly loved and looked after but I just thought it a strange way to prioritise space. And no, as far as I’m aware there are no regular guests who come to stay)

OP posts:
HotBath · 27/12/2024 13:49

DS insists on sleeping on the same floor as us at the moment, despite the room being small and there being a much bigger bedroom on the top floor he currently uses for gaming. I’m not surprised an eight year old doesn’t want to sleep on a different floor to her parents and siblings. What’s weird to me is that you didn’t think there was likely to be some such explanation, and went straight to ‘posting in the internet about how wrong they are.

Paul2023 · 27/12/2024 13:44

I’m seriously wondering why you care so much about it, as to create a thread about something so trivial…who cares?

Vettrianofan · 27/12/2024 13:41

CheekySnake · 27/12/2024 13:02

There is also a possibility that Hannah and her husband are regularly sleeping in separate beds, speaking as the child who was squashed in the box room for that reason.

Either way, it's not your business.

Valid point there.

Thewrongdoor · 27/12/2024 13:37

Completely fine. My nephew had the tiny box room when there was a spare larger bedroom available.

starfishmummy · 27/12/2024 13:25

I think it's up to them. We are very much a bedroom is a space for sleeping/getting dressed so size of room isn't important to any of us.

Original poster
YellowDoorYellowFloor · 27/12/2024 13:15

Genuinely interested in the responses- hadn’t thought of the keeping all on the same floor, which does make sense.

And also, 100% not my circus not my monkeys, but wasn’t aware of that being a criteria for AIBU. And it’s helped me understand.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 27/12/2024 13:11

What's it got to do with you? Are you looking for reasons to criticise them?

Quitelikeit · 27/12/2024 13:08

How do you know the child doesn’t want this? I have a large house and my son constantly asks me to move into the box room because he feels safer being in a small room

Wonderi · 27/12/2024 13:07

If they were on the same floor then I would say YANBU.

But most adults want the kids on the same floor and most kids would want to be on the top floor at a young age.

My niece is 9 and is moving to a 3 story home and as she’s the eldest she has to have the top floor and she’s really worried about it.

CheekySnake · 27/12/2024 13:02

There is also a possibility that Hannah and her husband are regularly sleeping in separate beds, speaking as the child who was squashed in the box room for that reason.

Either way, it's not your business.

ChristmasPostman · 27/12/2024 12:40

You’ve seriously come onto an online forum to ask a load of strangers to assist you in judging your “friend” ?

Applepoop · 27/12/2024 12:36

The child is probably loads happier near their family at this stage.

MargaretThursday · 27/12/2024 12:36

There are reasonable reasons why they have that room.

However I did judge when a relative gave her child the box room on the 2nd floor while keeping the second largest (could fit 2 king size beds in) bedroom for their "walk in wardrobe". Both of the large rooms were on the 1st floor, and there was a box room on the first floor. They wanted that box room for their shoe cupboard...

C152 · 27/12/2024 12:32

Perhaps her children want to be on the same floor as each other? It's poor house design that creates these situations people just have to make the best of.

Anywherebuthere · 27/12/2024 12:32

Her family's sleeping arrangements are none of your business. They are loved and looked after as you say yourself.

Personally i would rather have young children on the same floor as myself.

And if the parents are on the ground floor for any reason it's difficult to keep any ear out for the child on the 2nd floor but they would be able to hear them on the 1st floor.

Mumsntfan1 · 27/12/2024 12:31

Maybe in few years when the 10 year old is a bit older she'll move to the bigger room upstairs and the younger child will have her room. I understand the parents wanting them on the same floor at the moment.

Katemax82 · 27/12/2024 12:30

I wouldn't inflict a bix room on my kids if a bigger room was available!!

Katemax82 · 27/12/2024 12:30

I wouldn't inflict a bix room on my kids if a bigger room was available!!

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 27/12/2024 12:17

What does their class have to do with anything at all?

devongirl12 · 27/12/2024 12:16

Yeah, it's obviously the different level issue, OP. It's an awkward layout but if I lived there it's probably what I would do as well.

I don't think there is anything more to it.

StormingNorman · 27/12/2024 12:14

Separate floors are not the issue some are making it out to be. My DN have had their own floor since toddlers and nobody is emotionally scarred by it or fallen down the stairs.

I wouldn’t have kept a child in a box room with no space to play or have their toys around them.

Liesmorelies · 27/12/2024 12:14

I think it's rude to stay with someone and then post about their home and family like this, albeit anonymously. It doesn't affect you in any way and why have you assumed this outrage is all 'Hannah's' doing? It could have been her dh, or, most likely and as is blindingly obvious to most people, the child was in that room as a baby when they need to be on the same floor as parents/siblings and doesn't want to change.

pelargoniums · 27/12/2024 12:10

I wouldn’t have bought that house with that layout but if I had, I’d have done the same thing: all the kids on the same floor until old enough or indicated they wanted the other bedroom. (We moved when I was nine and I went into the attic bedroom by request.)

What’s wrong with a small cosy room?

You've just reminded me that I’ve got a friend with a townhouse and her DD5 sleeps on the first floor in the only bedroom there, while they sleep on the second floor. I’m going round right now to have a word.

yorktown · 27/12/2024 12:04

I'd also want my 8 year old on the same floor as me, with a view to changing things around at the teenage stage.

WaitingForMojo · 27/12/2024 12:03

One of my dds has chosen the box room over a bigger room. She likes feeling secure. Maybe the child prefers the small room?