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Original poster

The amount of mess in my house makes me want to cry, cleaning it up constantly makes me want to cry

157 replies

ldnmm · 27/12/2024 11:43

My kids, 2 and 4 are just constantly making a mess- constantly. It never stops.

I've been cleaning up constantly and whenever I turn around, there's a new mess somewhere. I just can't fucking hack it anymore.

I want to throw away all their toys and be done with it. I just can't take it anymore.

Make them tidy up after themselves you say? Yes I do that but it's just so consistent and there are so many things that I don't always have the energy to get them to tidy things away. There's just so many bits of bullshit toys all over the place that it becomes a huge ordeal to even tidy up properly and not just dump everything all messed up in buckets.

My husband is a bit shit at tidying up after himself as well and I literally cry because I can't take it anymore.

I cry when I am trying to stay on top of everything because I'm so exhausted and so frustrated. So yesterday my husband said, let's just leave it a bit- it doesn't make a difference as they make a mess so quickly anyway. So we left it a bit, but I'm just fuming today. I feel sick and frustrated.

It's just so fucking relentless and I don't know how to manage it better but I clearly can't just ' let it go ' as it drives me absolutely mad and I start being extremely frustrated. Chuck all the toys away ? They're never going to be able to tidy up every little thing after themselves like I need them to. Yes they'll tidy up at the end of the day etc but because they have so many toys and so many activities ( stickers, drawing, puzzles ) they like to take them out, play, then come back to it etc etc. so I can't see it working, without me having to be constantly on top of them and being exhausted by that too.

It's driving me mad though ! So I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
wombat15 · 27/12/2024 11:55

ThatCan · 27/12/2024 11:49

This was me! We have MASSIVELY reduced, the kids are still just as happy, they find plenty to do, they're actually way more creative because they use the same toy in multiple ways (mangatiles are very very adaptable!), and tidying up can be done in 10 mins. I literally set a timer and we're all done in 10 mins.

We also reduced clothing, excess ornament/ decorative items, extra and unused kitchen items...

Don't get me wrong, we have plenty, probably still far more than we need, and we can definitely still make a mess with it, but it is FAR better than it was and is so much easier to quickly clear. And everything has a place to put it, so no more piles of "stuff" that we don't know what to do with.

If you want to know what categories we found useful to keep, I'm happy to share, but honestly how you feel is SO normal. I hated it and cried a lot too. It's utterly overwhelming and you're doing your best, so go easy on yourself.

Don't you thinking reducing is wasteful though?. I am sure you try donating but even then a lot of it will be thrown away. Better to not buy so much in the first place.

DizzyDandilion · 27/12/2024 11:54

We live in clutter and we absolutely need to prune crap dramatically.
Books, clothes and just STUFF!
As a household we are not good at this. I have no excuse of young children either. I do believe am ND but too old for diagnosis and just need effective strategies...I don't drive and will need to rely on equally problematic DH to take stuff to Dump/ recycling...
I feel your pain.

wombat15 · 27/12/2024 11:53

I would try rotating toys and asking family to give money, or small items only in the future. Throwing things away seems so wasteful so better to reduce what comes in in the first place.

Goldenphoenix · 27/12/2024 11:52

There are two grown ups living in your house. Your DH can step up, he was weaponised his incompetence like so many men do when a woman is there and will pick up after them. You sound exhausted, force your DH to do his share and your load will be much lighter.

ThatCan · 27/12/2024 11:49

This was me! We have MASSIVELY reduced, the kids are still just as happy, they find plenty to do, they're actually way more creative because they use the same toy in multiple ways (mangatiles are very very adaptable!), and tidying up can be done in 10 mins. I literally set a timer and we're all done in 10 mins.

We also reduced clothing, excess ornament/ decorative items, extra and unused kitchen items...

Don't get me wrong, we have plenty, probably still far more than we need, and we can definitely still make a mess with it, but it is FAR better than it was and is so much easier to quickly clear. And everything has a place to put it, so no more piles of "stuff" that we don't know what to do with.

If you want to know what categories we found useful to keep, I'm happy to share, but honestly how you feel is SO normal. I hated it and cried a lot too. It's utterly overwhelming and you're doing your best, so go easy on yourself.

Frieda2024 · 27/12/2024 11:49

Put half of their toys away and do toy rotation?

Catza · 27/12/2024 11:49

The only way to have a clean house is to get rid of unnecessary stuff. Assess what toys they don't really play with and put them away. If they don't ask for it in 3 months, donate to charity.

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