To have walked out last night?

If the house is rented through YOUR friend, it should be easier to get him out, shouldn't it? Can you afford it on your own?

C a you get rid of him and take in a pleasant female lodger even if you have to give your room to daughter when she’s home and sleep in living room?

I agree it's your best option. You shouldn't have to give up your home or your beloved dogs. You've done nothing wrong. Your DH was abusive and he will keep doing it because as you said "he has form".

Are you afraid of him? Do you think he might become physical when you tell him he has to leave?

You are crap on his shoe.
A female at the bottom of the pecking order .
Fair enough hon at the races but he should have then been in helping you with food.
Did he shop prepare or think about any of it .no?
why is it the women’s job
He’s a dick .
You deserve better

This man is clearly abusive, he is treating you like this because he thinks he can get away with it, he thinks you are trapped and have no choice but to put up with it.
Don't let him crush you, you have to escape.

I can’t think of a reason why she wouldn’t want to help you.

Good luck with everything. I know it all seems incredibly hard and upsetting right now but think of the future you have ahead of you. Next Christmas you could be having a wonderful time with your DD, free from him and not being his abused skivvy x

No you don’t. If any explaining needs to be done it’s him who needs to do it. You can remove yourself from any situation you want to, for any or no reason, at any time. You are an autonomous adult, answerable to nobody.
Leave today. Start there and see how it plays out. The dogs will be ok until you find suitable accommodation, and your DD is an adult.

Only my experience but drunk people show you their true selves. All their inhibitions are lowered so they say what they think.
Id be removing him from my life permanently.

he should have prepared dinner for everyone (if he's so fussy with food), you're not his free cook (I hope so!). This man sounds like an abusive arsehole, you need to talk with a lawyer, then pack your stuff and move out. Fast. He knows he can get away with treating you like dirt so it's only going to get worse. For your safety and wellbeing leave this man asap.

What an utter arsehole.

My dad was a nasty piece of work like this. Never raised his hand to my mum but would say incredibly nasty things like this. And he didn’t even have drink as an excuse.

OP, if you can’t leave for you, then leave for your DD. I would bet money on her wishing that you’d leave him.

You say that you rent off your friend. Could you afford this rent on your house with some benefits? If so, is this a friend you can confide in? She could serve notice on your joint tenancy and then rent to just you?

Jesus's he's a monster! Leave the bastard

Yes he does. He understands plainly. Everyone does. It's not even a nuanced situation...if you are straight out horrible to someone, they will be upset. There is little to unpick.

He wants to have his nasty, abusive outbursts then have it swept under the rug so he doesn't have to take accountability. He enjoys bullying you. He isn't interested in the consequences. He really is that selfish and callous.

It's only a matter of time before he hits you.

I think you will go back to him though, which is a pity.

You sound lovely.

You do need to try to make longterm plans for yourself and daughter.
A man like that should not be around her. Or you .
His behaviour is terrible. And does not sound like it will improve.
He is obviously feeling no remorse.

He’s a nutjob. Run.

@cherrypumpkin so you ran around after everyone all day waiting on them
hand and foot and he treats you like a skivvy, not even as politely as one would treat an employee? Why would you be with this idiot? Please don’t stay with him.

Agreed. It's so hard with unreasonable people to avoid trying to find that perfect way to explain things so that they will understand - but this will never work, because they are either incapable of understanding (or else they wouldn't behave like they do) OR they are doing it on purpose, in which case the explanation is meaningless to them. There really is no winning other than leaving. Wishing you strength.

You say

’I do not like the way you spoke to me last night and I will not accept being spoken to like that.’

he’ll then arse around and try a) deny he said that stuff. B) say that it was your fault c) claim that you are controlling him by telling him what words he can use. Probably it’ll be a combination of a, b and c

Your only response to his blustering is to say ‘Well yes of course you can think and say what you want in the same way I can decide not to accept it. I don’t accept it and I will be staying in the travel lodge until I find more permanent accommodation.’

Cmon now. Of course he knows words can be hurtful. That’s why he does it. To Hurt you.

Fucking hell.
I don’t think any amount of talking to him is going to make a difference is it. You’re making a lot of excuses as to why you can’t leave him but you do realise this will be the rest of your life if you don’t…it’s really sad when women think this is all they deserve.

He will not change. They never do!

Do you want this for the rest of your life?