To have walked out last night?

This is nearly half year old? But hope OP is OK.

I truly hope you got away from this abusive failure of a man @cherrypumpkin

OP, you might be able to get support from a women's charity to get a court order removing him from the property. If you're renting through your friend hopefully she'll be supportive too.

Women's Aid, NCDV and Refuge are some organisations you could start off by contacting to see how they can support. I used them myself when I divorced an abusive prick and they were really helpful.

This is abuse and you do not need to stay to put up with being spoken too in such a horrible way... he sounds like a horror.
Look into leaving you can get help dont let fear stop you having a crappy existence with this bully .

He would have been wearing boiling hot lasagne!!!

@azafata2

I know you have written your post with good intentions but criticising her life choices while she's in the middle of the mire in real time, won't make her feel better or strengthen her resolve. You are essentially blaming her for her partner's behaviour.

It takes 7 goes to leave to those that haven’t been in an abusive relationship. Remember that,

Ok, That's enough of excuses. Dogs, etc. What do you want. It looks like you want to stay , physically and mentally not rock the boat. What is wrong with women accepting crumbs? From person yes, a person you are meant to be involved with emotionally. Why don't women in 2024 get their own independence. I know all being together at Christmas is meant to be "happy". Come on. I am 62 and had a lot of arseholes in my life. I accept nothing now if it is not respect, love and being in a supportive partnership. I have all my own money, work and absolute security in myself. There are so many threads here that are so men have been so abusive to women who screamed in massive pain and love to push out their babies, yes made by a man too who then walk away. Why does this mindset not change for women? Please enlighten me.

You are being abuse & you don’t even know it. The fear that he would hurt your dogs is keeping you from doing anything speak to women’s aid. I think you are in an escalating abuse situation & you should get help. Ask for help.

"I would change the locks once he is gone so he can't come and help himself to them..."

Please talk to your landlady to get permission. Register his abuse with the police-you can do this online. It won't result in any action at this stage, most probably, but it will build up a picture of his behaviour. Get the locks changed once you've got permission.

If there is anything physical, apply for a non mol via www.ncdv.org.uk/third-party-injunction-referral/ (You can do it for emotional abuse but sadly physical is more compelling).

I had to do exactly the same. It's very stressful but you need to do it to get him out and it sounds like he will get ugly.

I’m so so sorry they did that

@Sevenwondersofthewoo
They refused point blank to get involved. Told me to get in touch with the dog warden.

Don’t prioritise your dogs over yourself and your DD. Your DD shouldn’t have to witness her mum being abused in the holidays.

If you are renting from one of your friends then I would be checking if they would mind you throwing your abusive partner out and sub-letting a room to a dog loving, working person. At the end of the day as long as they get their rent and their house doesn't end up depreciating massively due to being a 'murder' house, then I can't see why they would mind ?
This is not a person I would want anywhere near me anymore, you went above and beyond to ensure he had a lovely day and he chose to abuse you because that's who he is and what he does !
He isn't going to change his way's because they suit him just fine, he doesn't care if he upset you, he is worried that you went away this time, he is worried you might go away permanently so he will double down at how much this is entirely your fault. It isn't.

If all in your name the police are wrong it’s not shared property as they are classed a chattel to one person not many I’m so so sorry you had to go through all that

Do you have any friends who would look after your dogs for a while? If we were friends I'd take them in a heartbeat. I do totally understand how much you love them, I'd do anything to keep my dog safe and happy.

I’d have them boarded then or at a friend’s when you tell him it’s over.

once he’s out bring back but don’t leave them for a moment.

I had to go to court for a friend over her dog (I was the breeder) she won and the judge was very very amused by it but her ex was an abusive controlling dick head that forced it through court to cost her money. It all back fired for him, she’s now moved and I’ve blocked her ex as he became abusive towards me.

I would still never trust a man in this scenario and would make sure my pets were safely out of the way before saying a word about leaving him. Abusive men often turn particularly nasty when their partners try and leave them. Not a chance I'd put my dogs at risk. If I didn't have anyone to take them in, I'd beg a rescue to have them for a couple of weeks whilst I left.

@cherrypumpkin both my dogs were in my name, vets accounts in my name, proof of purchase in my name, chips registered to me, and there still wasn't a damned thing I could do to get him back without him accusing me of harassment and setting the police on me. Police were unable to do anything because in spite of the above, he was considered'shared property', and I'd have had to go through small claims to get him back. There was so much trauma associated with the break up, I was t physically, mentally or emotionally up for the fight (although he did eventually get successfully prosecuted for stalking and harassment but it was an extremely difficult period).

Just letting you know so you're aware.

It was heartbreaking.

Please please please get out now. My ex husband was like this. This is exactly how it started after a few years. In the end, he controlled everything. It was difficult leaving but one day he really hurt me.

There’s lots of organisations out there who help women. Your local council and women’s aid will
be able to help. You shouldn’t have to leave your home. He is the one in the wrong here. What he’s said to you, in the eyes if the law, would be classed as abusive, coercive and controlling. If you can, keep a diary of everything. When he’s abusive, record him. The police are a bit shit without physical evidence. Maybe record him when you have a conversation about what he said to you. There’s an app you can get called Blue Sky, it looks like a weather app and you can log things there.

Get out!

Is there anyone who can take the dogs for a couple of weeks whilst you sort out the house situation with the landlord. Once it's in your name only you can lock him out. You can do this.

My DH was constantly like this during our marriage until I ended up a mental wreck on 80mg of Prozac a day. It was almost a relief when he had an affair and I then divorced him.

Make a plan to leave him safely and quietly don't tell him until you've left