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Original poster

Boyfriend watching porn at 10:30 in the morning

29 replies

Flufffycats · 27/12/2024 10:58

I woke up this morning at 8:30, have fed the cats and done some cleaning. DP was still in bed asleep. At 10 oclock I went into the bedroom and he said he was going to get up soon and start doing some house jobs (the task for today is painting the spare room which we will do together). I went into another room to write a shopping list and I put my air pods in and they connected to DPs phone, and I heard a man moaning. I walked into the bedroom and said what on earth are you watching and he showed me the screen which was something else. And I said no… just then, what were you watching? He said oh I was feeling a bit turned on so it was a porn video. I said why???! At this time in the morning, with the door wide open, the cats are running around chasing each other, I’m in the other room tidying up and making shopping lists… why would you lie there doing that? He said he turned it off straight away because he knew it was weird. But it’s given me the ick, I feel a bit sick and disgusted. Am I overreacting? I know a lot of people don’t have a problem with porn, and some people do. I guess I don’t mind if I don’t know about it. If it’s late at night and I’m away or something. But at 10:30am while I’m walking around the house and he’s just RIGHT there as if it’s normal?

I don’t even want to speak to him right now I feel icky like he’s a disgusting person. Is this an overreaction?

OP posts:
Whatisgoingonheredear · 27/12/2024 11:08

From my own perspective, yes, I think you are overreacting. The cats running around are irrelevant, they're cats, not human children who will hear it. It's the 27th December and I think slow mornings not rushing around cleaning or writing lists are acceptable.
However, if you have an issue with porn and porn use in your relationship then that's a conversation to have with your boyfriend.

Iaminthefly · 27/12/2024 11:08

Posts like this remind me why I choose to stay single.

Men are just so fucking grim. I'd feel exactly the same as you op.

SmileEachDay · 27/12/2024 11:05

Ask him if he checked whether the woman involved in the video had been exploited, abused, coerced or otherwise harmed before he got his rocks off.
Ask him if he thinks consent can be bought.

That’s where I would start.

Nogaxeh · 27/12/2024 11:01

It's your reaction.

You are allowed to have your emotions and your reaction to this and it's not for anyone to tell you that they're wrong. You have to listen to your emotions and heart what they're telling you, and your partner then needs to say the same when you talk to him about them.