DH asking if I had a nice Christmas irks me

Absolutely.

I get it too OP. Saying something like 'that was a lovely day, wasn't it? So much fun seeing Sarah and Mike' is saying the same thing and starting a nice conversation but less... Stating the bleeding obvious and praise seeking.

I also, if I've had a busy time and I'm tired and chilling afterwards, the last thing I want to do is rehash it all in minute detail rather than just relax and watch some TV or something and continue to enjoy my day. I don't know how to explain the differene - It feels a bit like an official debrief when it's just a question requiring my opinion, rather than a statement and asking if I agree. If that makes sense. I'm not explaining it very well!

Does he ask this when things haven't gone so well? And want to listen and discuss the answer? Or does he only show an interest in your feelings when he knows the answer is a safe 'yes'?

I suppose if I'd been there too and was fairly sure the other person had had a lovely time - because I'd seen them do it, I'd say 'wasn't that lovely?' as a way of 'connecting' and allowing conversation to flow, rather than ask a question that implies we weren't both there, or they didn't know me.

He's trying to "provide" a nice experience and he wants reassurance that he's succeeded. You can say it gives you the "ick" or that it makes your fanny clap shut with a resounding clang or whatever the latest way of saying that you have contempt for your partner is, but he's just trying.
Alternatively, you can give your head a very hard wobble (think: slap), and stop being so nasty. I understand that it's irritating, but posting on the internet about it (even if anon) indicates contempt.

My DH and I do this all the time — check in, invite discussion, just enjoy talking about the day.

Get this — he sometimes asks me outright if I’m happy in general.

Jesus, your poor DH. He must be walking on eggshells all the time.

I would love to be asked this by my husband!

Exactly. It's a harmless conversation starter.

Responding with contempt and irritation says a lot about the recipient of the question.

You sound like hard work. As others have said he is starting a conversation and you are cutting him off. You are the one being unreasonable not him

I'm not sure what the issue is?
Me and DH ask each other this and it leads to a discussion about our favourite bits and what we're looking forward to doing over the coming days.

It's just nice conversation.

Is this the way he and his family tend to communicate also? Its probably just how he was brought up.

Like you, when I'm with my sisters, every interaction has a clear purpose and expects a clear answer. If we don't have anything to say, we either change the subject or sit quietly.

My OH and his mum just waffle on a LOT and say a lot of unnecessary things repeatedly to pass the time.

I've got used to it by now :)

Do you think you might have been upset about something else (unrelated to the husband)? That sometimes makes me overreact.

So you both spent every single second glued together? You experienced every aspect in exactly the same way? At no point did you go to the loo or check on dinner or leave the room he was in? Your sprouts tasted perfect to both of you?

I don't get the annoyance. DH and I ask eachother all the time did we have fun tonight, have a good day, enjoy whatever activity or whatever. To me it keeps communication open and allows the other to say 'actually no I didn't really like this' if we didn't like it. Or to talk about what we liked and enjoyed.

I ask my DH if he's had a nice day when it's something like Christmas, birthdays, days out etc. because it means we can chat about what was nice, things that made us laugh, things we'd rather not do again and so on. It gives him the opportunity to tell me things DD said or did while I was doing the cooking or me to tell him things that happened while he was on the phone to his mum or whatever we were doing. He will do the same.

It's fairly normal couple chat at the end of a lovely day. If it really irritates you when your DH does it, then there's an underlying reason, maybe because you think he doesn't do enough often enough or because you don't like something else about him. It can't be just that question.

Don't try and blame your nasty reaction on possibly being 'ND'.
I hate neurodiversity being used as a catch all for poor behaviour on this site.

Not really. Being present doesn't automatically mean he knows OP had a good day. For all he knows she might have been putting on a good act and actually she was a bit bored, or tired, or whatever.

Sounds like DH has given you the ick for some reason.

I think it's a normal nice question. He's checking in and being attentive.

Your poor partner.

Well, given the tone of OP’s post I’d say the chances are very high that he has seen her looking ‘quiet or whatever’ during the day. And unless he’s telepathic (rare gift in men) I’d say he can have no idea whether she has ‘clearly had a good time’ either.

Give the poor bloke a break - and maybe peruse the other threads about slobby BFs who’ve bought nothing, not cleaned up, not ordered any special food and fallen asleep on the sofa… actually, given the man a hug!

Over the top response to this. Sound a bit grouchy to me, sorry!

I get it, OP. I have relatives who do this, and it feels like being prompted to gush, like a script has been written and I have lines to say. Even though I have taken care to be effusive already.

Why so tetchy? Your poor partner.....

It seems like a perfectly normal question. Just because both my husband and I were in the same place and appeared to be enjoying it doesn’t mean we experienced it in the same way. I’d probably answer by saying “yes, I particularly enjoyed (this aspect)” or “yes, (this) thing was particularly funny” or “yes but I found (this) tough” which then becomes a debrief and shared memory of the day. I like to end a day with a chat about how it’s gone. I’d check in with him in the same way

I certainly don't understand the OP...

I suppose I'd better stop asking my wife if she's had a nice time or how her day has been. I'm sure she'll appreciate it...

Oh god I do.
It's because you are going through the day/Christmas together. So it's only a pertinent question if he sees you looking a bit quiet or whatever during the day.
If you've both clearly had a good time there's no point in asking question. He knows the answer.
Why not say something like " that was a fun Christmas" as a statement. Stupid questions are annoying.