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AIBU?

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Original poster

Toddler at a funeral?

80 replies

Lavender14 · 27/12/2024 08:42

So a relative has recently passed away and I'd really like to go to the funeral because it is someone I cared about. My entire family are attending and as a lone parent I have noone else I can leave ds with. I've recently moved area so no friends etc here yet.

Am I mad to consider bringing him and trying to sit at the door so we can leave quickly if needed and bringing some toys/colouring items? I would feel really guilty not going but equally I don't want ds to be disruptive. He's usually pretty well behaved and is happy to sit and watch what's going on but like all toddlers he has his own mind so there's no guarantee. If I can't bring him I can't go and i do feel like my lack of presence would be noted. I couldn't attend the wake as he was ill.

What would others do?

OP posts:
MonopolyQueen · 27/12/2024 08:47

I have taken a toddler to a funeral. In fact, we didn’t go into the chapel for the ceremony but due to post Covid it was being played on a speaker outside for people who preferred to listen in fresh air.

So me, dc and a handful of others listened outside.

If that option isn’t available I would check with someone in immediate family what they would prefer you to do. Some would love to see a child and whole family assembled and find that a comfort. Others would find it distracting and inappropriate.

Eenameenadeeka · 27/12/2024 08:47

If they are a relative of yours, they are your toddlers family too. I don't see anything wrong with it at all, especially as you say sit where you can get out easily in case of disruption.

Pinkl · 27/12/2024 08:47

If it is a family funeral I would take my child and sit at the exit. Ask the immediate family how they feel and ask if they would just prefer for you to come for refreshments after the service.

BarbaraHoward · 27/12/2024 08:45

MN has taught me that this is pretty culture- and faith-dependent. To me it would be automatic that your DC would go, but others find the idea of any children at a funeral at all is unthinkable.

I'd ask your family.

HPandthelastwish · 27/12/2024 08:43

You need a babysitter, unless that person was a close relative to your toddler which it doesn't sound like they were .