New bf, Xmas disappointment

My now husband got me more for my birthday - exactly 23 days after we started going out - and we were students.

For God's sake, this shithead does not deserve you. Grow some backbone and kick him to the kerb. Try one of the other 3,999,999,999 men out there. 40 million of them are in Britain.

I’d have taken the gifts you got him back home and left him the frying pan.

Sounds like you’re starting to make excuses for him.

I think his 'love language' consists of grunts and squeaks.

I felt sad and depressed just reading your first post. It all sounds terribly grim and student bedsit like. In fact if my teenage boyfriends had made that little of an effort to clean the place, have something nice in, etc let alone a grown man, I'd have chucked them back. Talk about not giving a fuck.

I’d be annoyed. Make it special - clean the house, get some food in. He sounds lazy cba

He doesnt sound as into you are you are into him to be honest! 7 months is still pretty new, and yet you've been buying his christmas presents for months? he sounds a slob and you sound needy

If you stay with this guy, this will be your life going forward.
Is that how you’d like life to be?
Or do you want more?

That’s your answer.

This is the best he can manage - your first Christmas when he will be at his most impressive.

Imagine what he'll be like in 5 years' time. Except you don't have to - there's loads of threads on here from women who didn't leave after their first disappointing Christmas.

Wether you become on of them in the future is now down to you. They only ever get worse.

Get rid of him. He’s not going to change. Give him back the frying pan or perhaps hit him on the head with it to wake him up

My ex once said a couple of days before my birthday as we walked past a book shop, here's a fiver, go and get that book you want. I tried to say they should go in and buy it and preferably not when I am there! They said, I'll end up getting the wrong one....
Fast forward to my birthday, they passed me said book, still in the plastic bookshop bag, not wrapped and no card and said Happy Birthday.
That showed me everything about who they were and how much they valued me. I left them. Best thing I ever did.

Yeah, you deserve better than this OP. He has shown you early doors who he is. Believe him. Throw him back in, plenty more fish etc.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

He has set the bar. This is him showing you who he is. It’s up to you if you still want to stay or not. Honestly I wouldn’t bother.

Come on op. He didn't even clean his house which would have been easy thing to do.

No. This won’t do. Aim higher.

So he's very untidy in his home.

Didn't even make the effort to tidy up and he sleeps a lot.

Imagine what he'd be like to live with !

This was my (now ex) partner. I let him off with the whole “I don’t do birthdays and Christmas” because he was somewhat generous and ticked boxes in other areas. The first couple of years together, I ended up picking something and he paid for it but there was never any thought put into it and he wouldn’t have given me anything if I hadn’t made a big deal about it.

I overlooked this massive red flag and ended up buying a house and having a baby with him. Once he thought he had me trapped, he became stingy with everything including his good morning texts. I’ve matched his effort the past couple of years and now I’ve moved onto buying him out the house and he’ll be leaving after the New Year (hopefully 🤞🏼) but it’s been a long, draining road to get him to agree to this.

This will not get better, only worse if you carry on this relationship.

Great typo 😂

Walk away, most men try their hardest in early stages of a relationship so if this is his best, walk away..

I’ve been single for six years by choice and this is one of the reasons why. I’m just not willing to accept this sort of crap (anymore!) Value yourself more OP and get rid of this absolute waste of space.

Bitmlike my Dad thinks throwing money at us or paying for things means we will turn a blind eye to the fact he isn't a ice person and who calls us stupid and other manner of words. We aren't blind to it.

I'm sorry but do you want to come gome to a messy house and be the one who ends up cleaning it up? That will be your day to day reality. Are.some paid for trips and paying everytime you go out going to be enough for you to put up with.

You are being bought.

These are serious red flags OP. Get out while it is still easy to do so. Picture yourself with him five years down the line. It is only going to get worse. You are bound to look back and wonder why you didn't heed the warning signs.

I hate to be the harbinger of doom BUT it will only go downhill from here. If he can’t pull out all the stops to impress you for your first birthday and first Christmas, he’s never going to.

The state of his house and lack of hospitality also show you what kind of partner he’ll be if you lived together - a lazy one!

If he doesn't meet your expectations then get rid *unless you think he'll improve if you have a conversation about it.