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AIBU?

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Original poster

To use the kids Christmas money to get me through January?

520 replies

darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:15

In a way I don’t know why I’m asking as I don’t have a choice really, but if the overall consensus is absolutely not I suppose I can use a credit card or something.

PIL gave both children £50 for their savings accounts. I’d have to put the cash in my bank account and transfer to their savings accounts: plan is to do this after I’ve been paid in January. Should I? Or is this just horrible?

OP posts:
Tia86 · 27/12/2024 07:39

darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:32

Christmas largely - I don’t go all out but we were hosting this year and couldn’t really give people beans on toast! Then my pay was lower than normal: only slightly but I wasn’t anticipating that. We don’t have any savings in cash but the children do.

Who were you hosting? When was this decided? Did you not anticipate this perhaps costing a bit more in your budget? In future could you ask for help if you want to host, friend X could you please bring dessert to contribute to lunch, friend y would be lovely if you could bring a bottle of wine to share?

Sorry I feel it's a bit mean that the kids might lose their money as you didn't plan ahead a bit more, and who's to stop this happening again.

ueberlin2030 · 27/12/2024 07:38

I couldn't do this
Why haven't you budgeted for January? Did you overdo December/Christmas?
What about your partner?
Surely this is just setting up a cycle of being too short and paying back every month?
Do you have anything you don't use but could sell (clothes, books, toys)?

Kehlani · 27/12/2024 07:38

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AhBiscuits · 27/12/2024 07:38

darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:32

I’m not great with credit cards and am trying to avoid / pay off rather than add to it!

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As you're bad with money that a reason why you definitely should NOT use your children's money.

LetsNCagain · 27/12/2024 07:37

You can schedule a bank transfer for the future. So do it now, schedule it to go out of your account. Then you won't forget

MyNimbleViewer · 27/12/2024 07:36

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MyNimbleViewer · 27/12/2024 07:35

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Meadowfinch · 27/12/2024 07:35

So scrap the trip on NYE.

You can't afford to spend £70 on socialising if you're struggling to feed your dcs. Do a video call instead.

Priorities !!!

Original poster
darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:32

Tia86 · 27/12/2024 07:31

Just don't take the credit card out with you if you are worried you can't control your spending.
We put everything on our credit card but only what we know we will pay off the next month. Just because it's on a credit card doesn't mean you have to go wild! Do you or your husband have issues previously with spending?

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I’m not great with credit cards and am trying to avoid / pay off rather than add to it!

OP posts:
Original poster
darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:32

Christmas largely - I don’t go all out but we were hosting this year and couldn’t really give people beans on toast! Then my pay was lower than normal: only slightly but I wasn’t anticipating that. We don’t have any savings in cash but the children do.

OP posts:
MyNimbleViewer · 27/12/2024 07:31

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Tia86 · 27/12/2024 07:31

darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:26

No never

Yes, I’ll use the credit card then. I just don’t really like using them as it’s so easy to spend large amounts once you start, while when I’ve got £100 in my account that’s it, but with the credit card I could potentially spend hundreds!

Show quote history

Just don't take the credit card out with you if you are worried you can't control your spending.
We put everything on our credit card but only what we know we will pay off the next month. Just because it's on a credit card doesn't mean you have to go wild! Do you or your husband have issues previously with spending?

AhBiscuits · 27/12/2024 07:31

Use the credit card. You won't have to pay any interest if it's just for a few weeks and it will remove any temptation to keep the children's money.

MyNimbleViewer · 27/12/2024 07:30

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Kehlani · 27/12/2024 07:30

darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:20

Honestly there’s no way I would qualify, I earn well, just too much month sort of thing and high costs.

I have to fill the car with fuel too which will
be around £70, and the £30 left is for food and so on.

What were the high costs?

Do you have any savings?

Tia86 · 27/12/2024 07:29

Use the credit card and consider how you will budget better for Jan next year. You say you are paid well, so in theory you should be able to pay the credit card off immediately if you calm down spending.
I try to keep an amount aside for things that crop up early in the year, such as house insurance and car insurance which are annoying to have right after Christmas but must be paid. Add this to your monthly budget and then Jan won't seem so bad. Also look at your spending, why is it so bad this year? Admittedly prices have gone up a lot in supermarkets but have you gone overboard anywhere else that you could cut?

Original poster
darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:28

MinnieBalloon · 27/12/2024 07:25

Let’s be honest, with the best will in the world, they won’t get the money back if you do this.

There will always be another reason.

They absolutely would to be honest. I don’t want to sound awful here but if that’s what you would do, all I can say is you’re not me.

OP posts:
Peridot1 · 27/12/2024 07:27

I don’t see an issue IF you can definitely pay it back. December is an expensive month for most. If you have a frugal January and can definitely pay it into their accounts when you get paid I don’t see the issue.

what does your husband think?

Original poster
darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:27

Walkacrossthesand · 27/12/2024 07:22

But what will you do next week/month, when there's no tempting £100 to tide you over? How will you cover the outgoings, plus the £100 to put into childrens' savings? This is a bigger problem than 'shall I borrow children's savings money ' I suspect.

Well, in fairness it won’t be Christmas then. But I’ve also had slightly less pay this month: that has been £100 less so that’s affected things.

OP posts:
Original poster
darkmorning · 27/12/2024 07:26

MrsSprouts · 27/12/2024 07:24

Have you borrowed their money before?

No never

Yes, I’ll use the credit card then. I just don’t really like using them as it’s so easy to spend large amounts once you start, while when I’ve got £100 in my account that’s it, but with the credit card I could potentially spend hundreds!

OP posts:
MyNimbleViewer · 27/12/2024 07:26

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icallshade · 27/12/2024 07:25

To be honest, I wouldn't. How were you planning on paying for January had your kids not been gifted money?

If you're absolutely on your knees desperate because you've had some unexpected costs crop up then I guess there isn't any other choice, but if you've overspent because 'it's Christmas' then I personally don't agree, and I'd definitely be rethinking how much I spend for Christmas in the future.

Just seen your update re. needing fuel to see PiL- in these circumstances I would class this as living beyond your means if your unable to pay for fuel without using your children's money and I would decline the invite based on lack of finances. As previously mentioned, next year you then budget these costs into your Christmas plans so not to leave yourself short.

kittybiscuits · 27/12/2024 07:25

My mum used to do this every Christmas and birthday and never pay it back. It's not good. Is your husband working too? Why are you so skint, if you're earning well? Have you had genuinely unexpected expenses or are you living beyond your means?

RosesAndHellebores · 27/12/2024 07:25

When's pay day?

MinnieBalloon · 27/12/2024 07:25

Let’s be honest, with the best will in the world, they won’t get the money back if you do this.

There will always be another reason.