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AIBU?

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Maddening friend

30 replies

Justsaywhatyoumean123 · 27/12/2024 00:30

My oldest, closest friend was supposed to visit me from the 27th to the 29th. Since my flat is too small, she asked me to book her an Airbnb, which I did. The plan was for me to dog-sit her dog while she visited her dad (who lives nearby), and then we’d hang out together for a couple of days afterwards.
But her dad has fallen unwell - flu and diarreah so that plan collapsed—and so did ours, apparently. I get the feeling she was trying to “kill two birds with one stone,” and now I’ve been dropped.
What’s maddening is that she never explicitly told me she needed to cancel. Instead, she told me about her dad’s situation and vaguely mentioned that she’d need to spend the 27th with her sister (they usually meet at her dad’s, but now they won’t). It’s like she expected me to put the pieces together and sort it out myself. I’ve effectively been cancelled in favor of her sister, and when I pointed out that cancelling the Airbnb at short notice might be tricky, she accused me of being “stressed and short with her.”

I don’t mind her needing to cancel, but the way she handled it—just leaving it hanging and then making me feel like the bad person—is what pissed me off. It reminds me of the kind of thing my mum used to do (classic narcissist behavior), I’m hurt that she’s disowned her decision and instead made me the problem for being “stressed.”
Am I being unreasonable to think this is pretty rubbish behavior for a supposed close friend? Or am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Honestlyhonay · 27/12/2024 00:50

I’m struggling to understand the issue here. Is she still coming or not?

Justsaywhatyoumean123 · 27/12/2024 00:47

@GinAndJuice99 Great question. She asked me to book it for her as she hadn't been paid yet, but it's part of a slightly weird dynamic that probably needs to end.

OP posts:
GinAndJuice99 · 27/12/2024 00:43

Why didn't she book her own Airbnb?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 27/12/2024 00:41

Hmm, yanbu, I agree her handling was poor

I don't think you can do anything about it though without appearing unreasonable x

Maybe ask for the money back that you spent on the air bnb?

minipie · 27/12/2024 00:31

Her dad is unwell, I suspect that’s occupying all her mind at the moment.