I don't like my niece and nephews

My MIL fuelled the marriage one. Bizarrely kept all the admin notes and then tried four years later to recreate/upscale the whole thing, my SIL didn't stand a chance but also leaned into the whole thing. Those cousins are needy and suffer from posh neglect.
The in-laws who had kids after me, the clock was ticking loudly, she'd watched her friends and sisters all have kids and it was her turn to do it better. Of course the babies didn't understand, they cried and refused to hit milestones early so sadly she went the other way and created self fulfilling stereotypes of shy/super sensory/blunt.

Family get togethers make me sad, I do blame the parents having seen the passage of time. As they approach adulthood I wonder which ones will unpick there motivations with the help of Therapy and Mumsnet and which will drag their dysfunctional childhood through life.

@TinselTuesday it is incredible how people can completely change their behaviour towards you over a "race" that you didn't even realise you were "competing" in 🤷‍♀️ They tainted my pregnancy and made the first months of my DS's life a living hell.

Sorry to hear that @Udonoodles4Tea Must hurt a lot, particularly because you have that expectation from childhood that cousins can be raised closely together.

I suspect my relations with my in-laws would have been easier if we'd not 'won' the race to have a baby in one case or get married in another.

I can't quite bring myself to love my cousin's son (I am an only child, we are the same age and very close growing up) because of how she / her parents treated me when I became pregnant with DS. I had no idea that she was TTC at the same time as me, I had fertility treatment (so not an easy ride) and got pregnant before her...they couldn't handle it and were vile towards me until she fell pregnant a year after me. I was genuinely so happy for her, but now find that her parents continue the ill feeling by constantly talking about how perfect their DGS is and down-talking my own DS. At the end of the day, he's a lovely child but I can't separate him from their behaviour.

My nephew was a bit annoying but he’s lovely now as a young adult. Hang in there.

I totally understand how you feel. I absolutely adore some of nieces and nephews but honestly cannot abide a couple of them. I think the reason I cannot abide one in particular though is purely due to the way they have been brought up, you know they are the centre of the world (but it has to be the centre of everyone's world!!!) and they are very sly and underhand. They're an adult now with a child of their own and still hasn't changed in the least. I don't feel guilty about it because I do genuinely love and like my other nieces and nephews. I think it's like with any other humans, some you like and some you cannot stand and are not too sure why!!

I had a friend who had two kids. Eldest was a girl aged 5 and youngest was a 2 year old boy. I did not like that boy one bit and I have no idea why. I tried not to let it show but everything about him annoyed me. I stayed in touch until the boy was 5 and then I just distanced myself as I couldn’t stand being around him. He’ll be in his 20s now and I bet he’s still annoying

I’m not particularly close to DB and I have nothing in common with SIL - she isn’t a bad person but we are just very different people. Their DC are much younger than my DC and we don’t see much of them due to distance but I don’t really enjoy spending time with them

My sister's lot are all adults now, and they've turned out OK, I guess, but when they were little, they were selfish little sh!ts 😂
My sister and I get on, but we inhabit very different worlds in terms of our moral, political and ethical outlooks 😃

On both sides of our families, nieces and nephews were arrogant from a very early age. Took after their fathers. As they have grown up they are even more arrogant and entitled even though they have never done anything in life beyond sponging of parents and being virtual children at the age of 30. We have had better, more in-depth conversations with friends teens than that lot by the time they were in their 20s. They have actually unknowingly written themselves out of our wills. There is only one exception to that and she is a wonderful person.

I didn't like my nephews(dh side) because they were so naughty. Really badly behaved and just unbearable to be around. I cannot stand naughty children, could not care what the reason is around that. However they have grown up now and lovely so I like them now.

What's the reason for your dislike ?

Two of mine were delightful when they were small. Not so keen on the adults they have grown up to be.

I have nieces and nephews. I don’t dislike them but I’m certainly not interested in them,I never have been. I have my own children and grandchildren whom I adore but I’ve never got involved with my sibling’s children. Thinking about it,I suppose it is a bit odd as we all live quite close to each other but I have no idea when I last saw them. It’s not an issue in the family at all. It’s just always been this way.

The fact that you’re willing to still put on a nice front and act like you care makes you still better than some aunties. For example my sister pretends my child doesn’t exist and my SIL said she wants nothing to do with him (both straight after he was born). My SILs kids are spoilt brats but I went above and beyond as their auntie only for the older one to refuse to even meet my baby. My other sisters kids are hard work as they don’t ever hear the word “no”- one throws tantrums at everything and the other always looks ill and miserable- but I’m the same as you and pretend to like them more than I actually do.
If it makes you feel better, I work at a nursery for a living and love most children I meet! But some are a bit harder to love haha!

Do your DCs get on with their cousins? I think that is more important.

Me too tbh. I find them irritating.

I don’t like my niece. My only one aswel! And I feel awful saying that. I do love her but she’s been hard from day one! She was a very difficult child, but then my sister spoilt her. So she is very bratty (at 22 she’s still bratty!) we have had a few arguments, last one being my fault and I did apologise for it. She’s also a product of her environment too so is a negative ninny like her mum.
i love 4 of my partners nieces and nephews, they’re great but he has 2 I’ve never really warmed to.
it does make you feel bad, but we are only human! We can’t like everyone. And everyone’s family dynamics are different.

I don’t particularly like mine either but obviously like my own. I don’t think it’s automatic that you love your sibling’s kids. I suppose I don’t really know mine as I don’t see them much which is probably part of it.

Nothing wrong with the way you feel OP. You are polite and kind to them, that's all you need to do. I'm not keen on children at all, they just do not interest me. Doesn't mean I want to harm them, doesn't mean I'm going to be rude or unkind to them.

oh dear. I feel you have to grit your teeth and grow up
whoever liked all their relatives?
and these are kids!!!

It’s pretty common I think you’ll find many parents don’t even like their own children at that age LOL

I don’t like my husbands nephews. Well one is ok I guess the other is just horrible frankly.

No love lost there. My children don’t like them either. They tolerate the youngest and tend to go for polite ignoring of the older one.

Ah thankyou. He really is. He’s like a chameleon and seems to know how to be all things for all people. 😊.