Shit Christmas Things.

Don't mind Turkey but prefer a pork roast or duck/goose.

The main thing I hate is how early it all starts now - decorations going up so early and the interminable adverts, so by the time it comes around it's a bit of an anticlimax.

I like this bit - time to rest and nothing much to do apart from read or watch films, nice food to finish off, walk the dogs, chill out - lovely.

Blue outdoor flashing lights
Poinsettias

I buy Christmas crackers, put the crap in a box ready to use as party bag fillers and put in a mini bottle of liqueur in each cracker. Different flavours of course for the surprise element. 😁

Boots 3 for 2

We didn't have turkey or any beige rubbish - perhaps take some of the food you do want next time you're invited?

That said, my particular ire this year has been Ritchie I'll do literally anything to be a bit famous Anderson on R2. The fecker has plagued the airwaves for days. I get in the car and have to get you off before you can say "very iconic".

My £15 Turkey from Sainsbo was fucking epic. As always I Delia'd it and has plaudits from even the non- 🦃 fanciers.

I hate motorway service stations between Christmas and NYD. Cambridge services are ripping the arse out at £1.60 a litre for diesel. Robbing bastards.

We once did a Jamie Oliver Christmas.
I'd been practicing for weeks.
On the actual day I had to rope in my dh and ds.
Took 4 hours sorting and was tasted - ? Well I can't actually remember- never again.

Thank you!!!!!!

Lazing around watching tv and eating chocolate. I'm not really a TV fan anyway but I go along with it at Christmas because thats what Christmas seems to be about! I feel like a slug lazing around, my backside is numb and Christmas specials are a bit... blah. Just the normal show with a sparkly theme. I wasn't made to watch TV all day, but I tolerate it Christmas and Boxing Day because it's the only time I get to spend with wider family. I'm making a start today on the huge pile of books I was given for Christmas. Bliss.

I bought the most bog standard fresh supermarket turkey (not expensive at all) and wet brined it for 24 hours. It was absolutely delicious and not at all dry. I've been doing this for years and it's perfect every time.

Or just don't have them? I remember when it was just a pig on your plate. No blanket required. I can't remember at what point the blanket became obligatory but personally I find them overrated.

(i) Use dry aged streaky bacon not brine cured, this will go a long way to removing the moisture problem.
(ii) Cook them on a rack or crinkled foil, don't leave them lying in fat.
(iii) Don't over crowd them, give them space to cook.
(iv) Roast them in a 'dry oven', not an oven that's full of other items emitting moisture. If you only have one oven, no problem, cook them slightly in advance and then warm them before serving while the meat is resting.
(iv) Turn them part way through cooking so they brown on both sides.

The in-my-day style Quality Street and Roses were a thing of beauty.
You got a big, useful, bright tin instead of a plastic tub...and all the sweeties were in lovely shiny cellophane that you used to hold up to your eye and declare, "Everything's gone purple!"
The sweet, rich smell of chocolate and flavoured fondant when you took the lid off on Christmas Eve in the evening, "You can have ONE but the rest are for tomorrow."

They are a shadow of how they used to be now...like so many other products.

Absolutely. I work in a junior school and every Christmas we do a massive, whole-school production over 4 nights. The stress is unreal and all staff are expected to work 2 of the nights. We begin to rehearse straight after the October half term. During the run, we're all crammed into classrooms or corridors waiting for the children to be called to perform their dance/song and every year staff and children drop like flies with horrible viruses. On top of that, everybody is sniping at everybody else. The fallings out are epic!

In a well being survey recently, almost everybody stated that shifting the production to the summer term would be the number 1 thing that would improve well being. But, no...we still persist with the germ-laden stess-fest right before Christmas.

Humbug.

Admittedly our turkey was eyewateringly expensive but it’s absolutely delicious.
Rubbish things:-
Elf on the Shelf
Christmas starting way too early ( I work in retail & we have our Christmas stuff in from late August/early September)
Pressure from ads, magazines etc to be having an amazing time, decorate your home like an illustration from Homes & Gardens, generally be in a mad social whirl etc etc
Tv ads starting way too early
Another vote for cracker prizes!
Pressure to drink alcohol
Quality Street are awful! Loved them as a kid & we always used to hang them on the tree.

Elf on the shelf
Christmas Eve boxes
Baylis and Harding

I would have said crackers but this year someone recommended crackers with a pair of bamboo socks in every cracker - one size. Also had the hat and joke. Massive success for my 92 year old father, 28 year old DC & me & DH. Cost £13.98 for 6 with postage. Really good quality.

If you don’t like Turkey or party food, don’t have it - and don’t visit people who serve it, unless you’re going to bring a dish of something you like along with you so you don’t have to have it! If anyone asks why, just say it doesn’t agree with you and leave it at that!

I've worked in commercial kitchens so this is a bit of a bug-bear and offer my apologies in advance.

The question over the turkey is largely down to (i) have you bought the right bird? (ii) was it cooked correctly? (cook unstuffed, a 15lb bird is cooked at 160c for 2 hours on its breast and 30 mins on its back, then rested uncovered for 1 hour).

A free range turkey raised on good quality feed (grass and cereal not fish meal) that has been dry plucked, hung for 3 weeks in a chiller before being drawn, cooked correctly (invariably not according to instructions which still overcooks) can be a fabulous bird. Supermarket turkeys are not (i) regardless of what they claim to be on the label. Fewer than 4% of birds cooked are both (i) and (ii). Ignorance abounds on this which is why turkey gets a bad reputation.

The question really even withstanding (i) and (ii), is such a bird good value when the cost goes a long way to buying a 4 bone fore-rib of beef (hung for a minimum of 28 days preferably 36). I remember a time when butchers who valued their reputation wouldn't cut beef until it had been 28 days aged but that's a whole other subject.

Totally disagree - I love turkey - it’s gorgeous!!

I hate toiletries of.any kind as ‘gifts’ But BH is an extra level of thoughtless/that will do gift giving. And the quality is crap.

Turkey is lovely if it's cooked properly. We don't have any beige party food at Christmas, fortunately!

Cheap chocolates are shit. Roses, Quality Street etc. If things are shit, don't do them! I always love Christmas because we don't do/eat things we think are shit!

I don't hate the stuff, but I don't see it as a luxury or a special gift. It's just a bog standard, everyday brand with pretensions. All fur coat and no knickers, so to speak. The marketing and branding and especially the boxed up gift sets at Christmas have been deliberately done to make you think you are getting a product akin to Jo Malone, Rituals or Molten Brown for the price of a bottle of Palmolive or Carex. But it isn't Jo Malone or Molton Brown or Rituals. It's just Palmolive or Carex. There is absolutley nothing wrong with it, and if you want to buy it for yourself as part of your usual supermarket shop, go ahead.

But if you wouldn't give someone Head and Shoulders, Dove or Sensodyne for Christmas then why would you give them Bayliss and Harding?

I do still like Christmas, but the last few, including this year, have been a bit pants - partly circumstantial, partly due to other people being inconsiderate or even just a little unhinged.