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Original poster

To persue this man

31 replies

BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:17

Fancy a man at work
we text back and forth and he’s eluded to me coming over for dinner but he has ALOT of personal issues ,problems with his sons behaviour and a recent split from his partner.
i don’t want anything serious as I’m recently divorced but just want sex and company once a week or so
i definitely feel an attraction,am I being silly to persue it

OP posts:
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Original poster
BringBackWorshippingCats · 27/12/2024 09:07

lawyer199112 · 26/12/2024 23:43

Echoing what everyone else is saying here.

  1. don't s**t where you eat.
  2. if you know his personal life issues, it's not going to be no strings attached
  3. while people CAN go through a divorce/difficult time with kids all at once, beware of being told a complete lie to get access to you to talk/more. There's every chance his family are having a hard time but his wife is sat at home oblivious.
  4. act in haste repent in leisure!
  5. imagine someone new starts or you shift departments or have a client meeting at work and the love of your life walks in (you say you've not long been single!) you've blocked yourself by getting with the first man in front of you you've felt the tingle over who will (a) side eye you talking to anyone else and (b) likely tell the office you've been together to try and mark his territory

No, no and no!

I know it’s not a lie
but yes I get what you’re saying
thankyou

OP posts:
mumofoneAlonebutokay · 27/12/2024 00:01

It sounds like he's too involved in your life op, and it'll get messy 🥺

Which is a shame as there goes your potential fwb

lawyer199112 · 26/12/2024 23:43

Echoing what everyone else is saying here.

  1. don't s**t where you eat.
  2. if you know his personal life issues, it's not going to be no strings attached
  3. while people CAN go through a divorce/difficult time with kids all at once, beware of being told a complete lie to get access to you to talk/more. There's every chance his family are having a hard time but his wife is sat at home oblivious.
  4. act in haste repent in leisure!
  5. imagine someone new starts or you shift departments or have a client meeting at work and the love of your life walks in (you say you've not long been single!) you've blocked yourself by getting with the first man in front of you you've felt the tingle over who will (a) side eye you talking to anyone else and (b) likely tell the office you've been together to try and mark his territory

No, no and no!

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 26/12/2024 23:19

FWB is really hard with someone who has issues that they talk to you about.

If it’s just casual sex then fine, but if you’ve been talking about his problems already, you’ll naturally end up caring about him and then having sex will get all the bonding hormones excited and you’ll end up in love with him before you know it.

Ask me how I know!

Ablondiebutagoody · 26/12/2024 23:14

Don't shit on your own doorstep

outerspacepotato · 26/12/2024 23:04

You want to have sex with a guy at your work who has personal problems, issues with his kids, and "allegedly" recently split up.

What could go right here?

Livinginadream · 26/12/2024 22:58

BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:32

Can you not have sex and fun with someone without it turning into anything more?
forgive me if I’m out of touch I’ve been married for 10 years?
a friend with benefits

and we work at the same place but it’s a huge company in Greater London
think like BT or something on that scale.

But you said you wanted company in your OP

Original poster
BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:47

I know you’re all right I just really fancy him
but in my head where I’m 42 I know it’s a bad idea
just my vag has other ideas

thankyou all

OP posts:
Sassybooklover · 26/12/2024 22:45

If this man has recently split from his partner and his son has behaviour issues, then quite honestly, he has enough on his plate. Getting involved with someone who has a lot of personal problems, could end up being messy and exhausting. Honestly, leave well alone. If this was a year down the road, and things had settled down with his son etc, then I'd say 'see where it goes', but at the moment, that isn't the situation.

Original poster
BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:38

HotBath · 26/12/2024 22:35

If you want uncomplicated no-strings-attached sex, find someone without such significant personal problems that a colleague knows all about them.

He’s told me them

OP posts:
Shakeyourbaublesandsmile · 26/12/2024 22:38

Nope

Fallout not worth it if it’s casual you looking for.

Original poster
BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:38

Mrsttcno1 · 26/12/2024 22:35

When you’re both fresh out of divorce/relationships you’re both at risk of becoming too attached really, or the opposite and not ready which then makes things really awkward.

If you want to try then go for it, but not with someone you ever have to see again if it goes badly, so not someone you work with. If you’re seeing him enough at work that you’re dying to shag him then you’re seeing him enough that it would be painfully awkward if it all goes terribly wrong.

Show quote history

Duly noted
this has made me think
thankyou

OP posts:
Pyjamatimenow · 26/12/2024 22:37

BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:32

Can you not have sex and fun with someone without it turning into anything more?
forgive me if I’m out of touch I’ve been married for 10 years?
a friend with benefits

and we work at the same place but it’s a huge company in Greater London
think like BT or something on that scale.

It rarely works like that. Friends with benefits is a very rare thing. He’ll probably just shag you and you won’t hear from him again or only when he’s pissed and no better options and frankly if you’re older than 35 there will be younger and more exciting options on tinder

Mrsttcno1 · 26/12/2024 22:35

BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:32

Can you not have sex and fun with someone without it turning into anything more?
forgive me if I’m out of touch I’ve been married for 10 years?
a friend with benefits

and we work at the same place but it’s a huge company in Greater London
think like BT or something on that scale.

When you’re both fresh out of divorce/relationships you’re both at risk of becoming too attached really, or the opposite and not ready which then makes things really awkward.

If you want to try then go for it, but not with someone you ever have to see again if it goes badly, so not someone you work with. If you’re seeing him enough at work that you’re dying to shag him then you’re seeing him enough that it would be painfully awkward if it all goes terribly wrong.

HotBath · 26/12/2024 22:35

If you want uncomplicated no-strings-attached sex, find someone without such significant personal problems that a colleague knows all about them.

Original poster
BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:32

DatingDinosaur · 26/12/2024 22:27

You're recently divorced and he's recently split with his now ex. You've both got the fanny gallops (and whatever the male equivalent is) at the freedom.

If you didn't work together I'd say go for it.

Just frig yourself senseless thinking about him instead. The fantasy will be better than the reality anyway.

Fanny gallops 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
BringBackWorshippingCats · 26/12/2024 22:32

Can you not have sex and fun with someone without it turning into anything more?
forgive me if I’m out of touch I’ve been married for 10 years?
a friend with benefits

and we work at the same place but it’s a huge company in Greater London
think like BT or something on that scale.

OP posts:
JMSA · 26/12/2024 22:30

Get yourself on Tinder.

This simply isn't worth it.

Kitkatcatflap · 26/12/2024 22:28

If you are just a casual thing, sorry to be basic but don't shit where you eat.

catandcoffee · 26/12/2024 22:28

Get the sex elsewhere not with a work colleague.

DatingDinosaur · 26/12/2024 22:27

You're recently divorced and he's recently split with his now ex. You've both got the fanny gallops (and whatever the male equivalent is) at the freedom.

If you didn't work together I'd say go for it.

Just frig yourself senseless thinking about him instead. The fantasy will be better than the reality anyway.

randomchap · 26/12/2024 22:26

If he's just split from a partner then he's likely to be emotionally vulnerable, and might not be on the same page as you. He might want more than a regular shag and it could become messy

Give him some time to get over his ex, and if you're still wanting him then it might work

NunyaBeeswax · 26/12/2024 22:26

Baggage brings drama.
Drama beings shoulders and support.
Shoulders and support catch feelings.

Dangerous game I think OP.

pictoosh · 26/12/2024 22:24

Pyjamatimenow · 26/12/2024 22:23

Yes. You’d be ridiculous. Coming over for dinner is just another way of saying he might shag you if you’d be willing to deliver yourself to his front door like a dominoes pizza. The sex won’t be on your terms it’ll end up being on his and then it’s awkward at work and you’ll feel stupid

Probably this.

Pomegranatecarnage · 26/12/2024 22:23

It could cause problems at work if he wants more or if people find out.

allude, pursue.