‘D’ P farting while he’s prepping food

Ha ha i did the same at the start but I have IBS and accidentally let one go maybe 1-2 months in. He fell about laughing. I was mortified it now it’s just a normal thing. He once texted he at work whilst he was off saying ‘I’m on your side of the bed farting!’

Just think of all the people who might have let out sneaky farts in the supermarket, near the food that you bought....

If you need to sneak on out, you can guarantee that's the one that smells like roadkill and can be detected from 50 paces away.

Just think of all the people who might have let out sneaky farts in the supermarket, near the food that you bought....

I wish I would be around in 30 years time when all these 'I don't fart/go into the bathroom/hold it in' people get old. The sphincter is a muscle and like all muscles they decline with age. And you fart - and no you really can't help it.

Christ knows how you all will cope!

The too prim farters fart proudly when alone, I'll put money on it. I am one of them. It's pretty embarrassing when you get caught out.

At least the OP calls them farts, and not botty-burps, or windy-pops, or any of the other appallingly twee names some people use.

She’s still being U to object to kitchen farts from a dh who’s prepping food, though. If he was just helping himself to a beer from the fridge while she was slaving away, IMO that’d be a different matter.

It makes me laugh thinking of all the too-prim-to-farters. What do you think happens when you're asleep? You'll be letting them rip, probably quite noisily DH is very repressed about bodily functions, would never fart in front of someone, but when he's asleep they come out because you can't control that. Pretty sure everyone parps in their sleep! So you can rush off to the loo every time you need a fart during the day, but your 'lover' will be regaled with the odd noisy parp overnight regardless.

Squatting over it.

@BettyBardMacDonald honestly, I was just messing around, I wouldn't take my post so seriously.

That’s what I was thinking, I’m 8 months postpartum and believe me after 9 months of pregnancy, childbirth etc any sense of privacy is well and truly gone😂

Oxford dictionary definition of ‘prepping’-
the action or process of preparing something, or preparing for something.
"after hours of prepping and cooking and stressing and a few near-breakdowns, Thanksgiving was wonderful"

Lol. Wait til your colleague pushes out their first baby.

Well it's not put my husband or me off each other in 50 years 😆😆

@FizzyBisto I've never heard of Roland before! But I must admit one of my favourite DVDs is Le Petomane starring Leonard Rossiter at his finest.

Well you say that but I would never go back to living with a guy who never farted in front of me 🤷🏻‍♀️ like I said, a horrible way to live. so I’d choose the unabashed trumpeter, given the option.

Maybe you should try letting one go. Might cheer you up a bit.

Doing it discreetly has always been the norm. Among those with standards.

Standards seem to have plummeted. People who are proud of emitting their fecal spray in front of their sex partners or social guests are certainly... interesting.

I can assure you that those who smugly believe their partners find it endearing are almost certainly deluding themselves. Give them a choice between an unabashed trumper and a continent person, and see who they choose.

Actually, the king never ever farts himself - he employs the GGGGGGGGGGGS of this chap to do it for him:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

Is that 'wind' to rhyme with 'find' or 'tinned'?

I think I can guess!

The very act of getting up off the sofa is what would make me push it out - not sure whether it's just the angling of my body or nature's little turbo boost towards the energy used in being upstanding.

😂 I used to go out with a guy who hated farting. I used to have to wait for him to fall asleep before I could fart. It was a horrible way to live.

No such issues with my husband. Talk about meant to be…

It’ll tenderise the steak lovely, that will. All the little gases mingle with the proteins. All the best chefs do it.

Obvious coercive control. But to be serious, OP, presumably you've had your ringpiece sewed shut? Google fecal plume, that'll really get you going!

I remember my husband telling me about three months after we had first met that he had never heard me fart. Being in a new relationship I had tried so hard to be demure and let them out quietly, but I realised then that he wouldn't be shocked if I let rip. 50 years later, I think he regrets saying that 😆😆😆

I think you were being absolutely ridiculous. It was a couple of farts for goodness sake! Why do some people of Mumsnet get so worked up about farting? Everyone does it - I expect even the king farts like a trouper now and again.

I'm so glad it's just me and my cat.
If I'm stressed I fart, I frequently overwhelm myself.
I'd be forever running back and forth between rooms.

Don’t you? It’s a normal thing. You can be all faux horrified but i’m glad we can be normal and not run outside in the rain just to parp! That just seems ridiculous to me.