Husband doesn’t want me working part time even though we can afford it

Exactly. If you are too lazy to work full time. Why should he. Don't be a scrounger

Nothing wrong with asking and he might have been happy enough.
It sounds as if he does not have the ability to empathise with your tiredness. Chronic tiredness is a thing, anything from differing amounts of energy in different people to long term disorders. Getting a diagnosis is not always easy and may take patience and an ability to advocate for yourself.
You are doing three lots of things, actually working hours, commuting and housework. DH doesn’t want you to cut your working hours, can you change jobs or wfh to reduce the commute? If he doesn’t do 50% of housework now then get him to do that.
Keep a diary of your health so you have an idea of what is going on and a record of hours spent on each kind of task.
While you are getting tests etc. and possibly cutting commute you will have time to evaluate how any changes are going. After a few months you will hopefully know more and be better placed to make decisions. You go part time, you both go down one day a week or fortnight and each have time for house, rest, leisure pursuits.

No her husband is unreasonable.

It's a bit different for a woman who knows she will be taken out be maternity leave anyway.

I think that nails it. What he said was horrible but if you split the chores equally you expecting to work part time is unreasonable.

You want your DH to support you financially while you scupper your future pension, damage your promotion / pay rise prospects / reduce the level of maternity pay you get , etc etc?

Too tired to work full time? Have you checked out your health?

Is your commute ridiculously long and tiring? Can that be addressed somehow?

The point PpS make about equal amount of domestic work and household admin is valid. Does he pull his weight?

Honestly if we were young enough to be pre-kids and my DH wanted to work p/t while I supported him I would be unimpressed.

Unless there were health issues or we were unimaginably wealthy

I think it's really hard to know if you're being unreasonable. In the 50s you would have been expected to do this. I don't know how tired you are. I don't think the healthy meals from scratch thing holds up as a reason - there are many healthy meals you can batch cook or make in a slow cooker or use one of the boxed thingies. Also, if you're this solvent you really must get a cleaner as you're pouring precious energy away on the house in addition to which he should also be cleaning. Bear in mind that you'll be more vulnerable if you work less. I think you might have an idea in your head and the reality might be very different. But a long commute isn't ideal if your energy levels are low. Perhaps get a blood test to check you're not low on something.

Why don't you both work part-time, you can then carryout equal amount of domestics.

Just a thought.

You aren't unreasonable to want to work part-time, you are unreasonable to expect someone else to pay for it when it's not for a reason like childcare. Two adults don't require someone working part-time to clean and make dinner. You just don't want to work, which is fine, but your husband doesn't want to pay for it, which is also fine.

YABU. Most people would rather work part time, unless you can afford to support yourself to do that then the answer is no.

Do you have some sort of disability or chronic illness?

If not I'm struggling to see why you can't manage normal life around work. Do you want kids? If you need to be part time to look after yourself you'd need full time employees to deal with kids.

I agree with your DH and don't really see why you think he should carry you. Get a cleaner.

This is a joke. My house is spotless and I cook from scratch 7 days a week. I run two businesses and have two straight A kids who go to a variety of activities.

If you can’t manage that you need to see the dr. You are either exhausted because you aren’t looking after yourself properly or there is something else going on. You can’t possibly be tired on what you do.

Team DH on this one I’m afraid

I think YABU, my view is probably skewed though as I manage to work full time, be a completely lone parent and also keep my house clean and cook dinners with no outside help. If you can't do that without any children and another adult in the house you're doing something wrong.

I had to go part time working the vape counter at asda to avoid temptation 🙈

best decision i ever made after divorcing my husbands😹

Or if you think this is harsh you have to make a joint decision to downsize your life: smaller house, fewer/ no holidays, no luxuries to accommodate part time working. You can’t expect to work less and just carry on as before.

How could you use some of your full time earnings to help achieve your goals of deep cleaning the house and eating healthier / less processed meals?

unless theres more to this i think UABU . Do you have a disability or caring responsibilities on top of normal cooking / cleaning and working ?

In assuming one person working part time would affect your joint life style ? Id say yous need to both work full time and share the cooking and cleaning . With no kids yous have all evening and weekends to do the house work and what ever else you want .

How long is your commute?

YABU because it sounds very much like you’re expecting to continue your existing lifestyle- I.e make him fund your part time hours. It sounds like he’d much prefer you to continue to bring a decent wage in than do this. I have some sympathy- my partner semi- retired last year and it keeps me awake having most of the financial pressure on me. He’s worked for 40 years but if he’d said he was wanting to go part time to cook from scratch and do the cleaning when he was young, fit and healthy I would have been appalled.

If you’re exhausted living just a normal life without kids I agree- go and see your gp
as you might have a thyroid issue or low iron. Otherwise most people would quite like what you’re suggesting but most people also can’t afford it- we share chores, batch cook, clean on the weekend to an adequate standard and yes we are often knackered. But we don’t expect someone else to subsidise our leisure.

Also, maybe see the GP. your level of tiredness doesn't sound normal.

I keep telling dh i want to be a stay at home dog mum while ds is at school 🤣 but I know i should contribute too and we have more spare money so I work.

I think working part time is quite unusual unless you have DC or are close to retirement age.

Having said that I think your DH is being very unsympathetic about your tiredness levels. I think a lot of men don't understand how tired women can get. At certain times of the month I feel totally wiped out...my dh isn't mean about it but I think he absolutely doesn't understand that I'm genuinely shattered in a way I can't control.

Fwiw,.if you're both working full time you should both be doing equal household chores...so you definitely shouldn't be doing more than him.

It sounds like the "few hours commute everyday" is the problem, and not the full time job.
Another job closer to home might be preferable?

Even if you are doing all of it (which I hope you aren't) I'm struggling to see how much housework 2 adults can generate.

How far are you commuting for ot to e a few hours a day? I suspect this might be part of why you're so knackered. Also does he do 50/50 round the house?