Husband doesn’t want me working part time even though we can afford it

Sorry but your reasons for wanting to work part time are ridiculous. Could you get a job closer to home if the commute is too much?

Get a cleaner! Don’t sacrifice your financial independence so you have more time to clean and cook

Also, working part-time is the worst idea ever. Your salary will be compared to his full-time salary and NOBODY would take into account your housework. From what he says, he will think house work has zero value. Don't, sister! Just don't! When you divorce him, what will your CV contain when you will want to return to the work place? What will be in your 'running away' account? I think you should both work full-time and contribute equally to housework/children rearing or hire help to do that.

We have been institutionalised as a society into thinking we must work as much as feasibly possible or we are lazy, even if we spend the free time such a lifestyle affords us being productive.
It’s ok to feel you want to spend time doing other things - however, you should still be able to contribute proportionately (unless it’s an agreement that you earn less but do more chores etc, which it doesn’t like your husband is agreed with)
He sounds like an arsehole though.

Is he foreign? A foreign nurse, an excellent worker, a very kind woman, had a meltdown at work when somebody told her they were tired. She is doing NHS plus bank in a different trust and feeds scores of people at home. The person who said they were tired were a student nurse in her late 20s, husband, no children, no elderly parents.

I would have thought investigating the (potentially medical) cause of the tiredness should be a higher priority than reducing your working hours. It's the very definition of dealing with the symptom and not the cause.

God forbid 🙄🙄🙄

Sometimes I think we'd be a happier society with less marital stress if both partners could work 4 days a week.

Exactly this.

Don't be silly.

Maybe get a check up with your GP
You should be able to cope with housework and cooking if this is shared equally between you
And perhaps a cleaner ?

I haven't ticked either box because, whilst I understand why you want to work part-time, I can also see his point of view.

You could pay for a cleaner. I had one years ago when I worked part-time. However cleaning the house is not solely your job.

Healthy meals can be planned, they are not all complicated or time consuming to prepare - and there are two of you.

Good luck.

He thinks he's your boss.
He thinks he's in charge of you and how you live your life.
Do not have kids with this twat.

Except it’s not just OP’s choice when HE will then have to support her. You can’t force that on someone.

I think women being capable of running themselves into the ground at the expense of their own physical and mental health for everyone else's benefit, until they crack isn't really a positive thing.

I would rather spend time cleaning my own house, cooking healthy meals from scratch, raising my kids and supporting my husband then I would working for someone else to pay a cleaner, buy processed food and have a nursery raise my babies - as long as it’s financially viable.

I would expect my husband to pay my pension contributions as he would his and any assets to be shared. I would see us as contributing equally and I would only marry a man who saw things this way too.

It's not her choice when it will inevitably end up financially falling on him.

How controlling and awful for him to say such things. It's your choice how much you work, for whom and in what job.
Do not have kids with this man.
I wouldn't go part time in order to have more time to 'clean the house' though. There are better things to occupy your time with. How untidy can a house containing two working adults actually be? Plus it's not your job to be a skivvy.
I wouldn't be happy with a man like that.

I would drop to 4 days to start - makes a big difference. And so long as he is not subsidising you, you don't need his permission.

There’s a HUGE difference between what OP wants now and what would be needed with kids involved.

If I’d said to my husband a few years ago I wanted to go part time to cook meals he’d have laughed, however now we have a baby I’m going back to work part time after maternity leave and he not only supports that but encouraged that. Totally different situations.

I think you're unreasonable to expect him to support you financially because you're tired. Everybody's tired.

Get a closer job. Have him contribute more to household labour if he's doing little or nothing Get a physical to see why you're so tired. Hire a cleaner.

But decreasing joint income because tired? Wtf. Both parties need to agree to this and it sounds like he doesn't agree.

You for real? 😂

im sorry but why the heck should any many just subsidise you just because he can! My child’s dad/ on and off partner what ever could support me too but I still choose to work because it gives me the independence the socialisation ans the money of my own! You’re not even a mother and want to work less! If you were a mother I’d understand. I swear mums net has been full of idiots over Christmas post after post of nonsense rage bait

But7 you would still reduce the family pot - whether that's spent or kept as savings. Would you think it ok for him to go part time?

Seeing the doctor sounds more productive.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. If you’re unable to align now then as someone else pointed out, think carefully about whether this is the person you want to start a family with.

When you have kids, does he still want you to work even if financially there’s no need?

Don't ever lose your ability to be independent with a good job and a good pension.
So reducing your hours to have a clean house are madness at your stage in life.
He needs to do his share.
Pay for a cleaner between you.
Don't drop hours at work for this reason, and don't drop them when the babies come along