Husband doesn’t want me working part time even though we can afford it

@Mrsttcno1 Well it seems he's trying to force plenty of things on her. He's not being supportive to her in an emotional sense either way tbh.

So you would be giving up a full time wage and pension to skivvy at home for him whilst your DH advances his career?

To be clear, I don’t think SAHM/housewives are skivvies, but in your situation you would be giving up a lot of financial security for a life skivvying for him, because you’re giving him the green light not to share finances with you.

I think your DH needs to do more his fair share of the housework and cooking so that you’re not so tired. What’s the current split?

Isn’t it funny how if the genders were reversed every reply would be shouting LTB and cock lodger!

I don't think its unreasonable to want that. But, it's also not unreasonable for your husband to want you to work full time, presuming you have always worked full time and so that's the expectation?
You say you want to cook meals from scratch? Are you eating badly? That could be contributing to your tiredness. From a health perspective I get why you'd want time to feel better.
You also say that you can afford it, but does your husband agree? Unless your husband is making really good money that allows you to regular save and both put money into pension as well as covering all expenses and having fun money then you're really saying you want your husband to supplement a lifestyle choice. I wouldn't allow it except for health reasons. Otherwise, I don't feel I would be happy to carry the burden of household finances or restrict my own current and future lifestyle so that my partner could clean more thoroughly.
Unless your husband is being an a**hole about pulling his weight then the issue appears to me to either be a management issue or a health issue. You need to look at how you cut your commute - a few hours a day is a lot - bulk buy and then batch make food so you have pre-prepped meals at least some of the week and then a schedule to ensure you have a clean enough home.
As others have said, also get yourself to a GP for a check up and make sure its nothing medical. If you're super tired then there might be something wrong - totally fair enough to need a break to recover.

Firstly, will your job let you drop to part time?

Have you thought of other alternatives for more flexibility with work that may help reduce the commute and time at work? For example, work from home a few days, a later or earlier start and finish time (flex) on various days of the week and to have every second Friday off, for example, for a long weekend?

Cost of living has gone so far up, I assume you have already thought this through how you would financially navigate upcoming financial costs including kids (and if you would go private or public for care and birth - this is expensive), their education, family holidays, unexpected health or caring costs and retirement, to name a few.

What you need to do is sort out your energy levels and shorten that commute.

No young, child-free woman should be feeling the way you do.

Does your husband do his share of housework and cook meals from scratch too?

I think you'd be mad. You would regret it when you'd see how your pension would be affected. You think now you will never get old, but you will. I can't imagine your husband would want to pick up the slack of your pension contributions either.

As someone who has always worked FT, had a commute, and reared three children to adulthood, I think you would be mad to go PT now. I'd be concerned about how things will go when you do have children.

You're right! She hasn't actually said it, I assumed when she talked about cleaning the house thoroughly and preparing healthy meals. No doubt she will say one way or the other.

Yes but she'll become ill because that's not sustainable.

Where does it say he "wants her to do it all"?

OP apologies if I have this wrong but are you from overseas ? Do you feel safe and protected in your employment situation and marriage ?

Christ! You mean he will ask her to contribute in their marriage?. What a scoundrel

i know in the banking industry or law etc in London it can be 10 hrs etc a day, but even then its not a race to the bottom of who can work more hours, i agree i did a stint of 10/11 hours a day due to travelling and working hours but personally at the moment im considering parttime hours to give me more flexibility, as when i was full time its not enough hours in the day

You want to faff & fill time with pt work whilst he’s the primary earner. Yup you’re a lazy chancer No wonder he’s not having it

This was the wrong place to ask OP. People have different amounts of energy and I don't think it means you're ill because you find your current life tiring.

I'd be very careful. If you have children you're going to be far more exhausted and it sounds as if your H is going to be very unsympathetic. I don't see how this relationship can work.

Don’t stop working, it is your independence even after you have children.
Working part-time seems to take up more time than you think it will, for less money. Meetings or similar can run into your off hours. Keep working full time and both of you go 50/50 on a good cleaner and eventually on childcare. The money you earn can go into your pension fund, Isa etc. Women’s pay/ pension is rarely the same as a man’s, think of your and eventually your children’s future, you are only thinking short term at the moment.
.

She hasn’t said he expects her to do it all.

That is very true but it sounds as though the op's husband expects her to do all the cooking and cleaning. I've known people work themselves into illness because they do everything. Nobody is on top of their game indefinitely.

My view is that it would be a good idea if they hired a cleaner and any other jobs they shared.

This and if this was a man posting everyone here would be criticising.

Hop over to the thread trending now - Husband wants to separate - see what happens to nice women who sacrifice their careers.

Everyone gets tired while working. You don’t have kids why should he pay for you. Some people are so lazy it’s untrue

@Thepurplepig
what relevance is your straight A kids? did you need a wee boast?

OP what do you see as your ideal set up when you have children? Would you work part time, or not at all? And have you discussed with your husband what he wants for the future?

Whatever you and your husband wants is fine, stay at home mom's, part time or 50/50 career focused women, all fine but you must both be aligned.

If he wants a wife who works full time, he needs to do equal housework. I don't care if he brings more money in, work should be split based on time. If he refuses, it becomes a source of stress and arguments so I do feel sorry for women striving for 50/50 with men who won't.

Personally I would like to go down to 3.5 days once I (hopefully) have children, because I do more housework and I think it's nuts and unfair women are expected to work full time and do the majority of housework and childcare. Until then I'm trying to do as well at work as possible, and thankfully my husband is on board but I would only do this if financially viable at the time.

For yourself, I'd get a blood test to see if you have any vitamin deficiencies, try get a job with a shorter commute or where you can work from home some days.

I wouldn’t be impressed either if my other half wanted to go part time and live off me.

And in your spare moments, I imagine you fly over the city fighting crime.

Don't be ridiculous! If you go part time so you can cook healthy meals for both of you, and take over the running of the household for both of you, then of course he should pay. Better yet if you are wanting children, ensure he pulls his weight around the house and pol your money.