Husband doesn’t want me working part time even though we can afford it

@mumofoneAlonebutokay if my DH decided he wanted to work part time to "cook meals from scratch" I'd tell him he was taking the fucking piss, quite frankly.

Being supported to stay home and raise children is very different to being supported to stay home to faff about doing whatever you please.

Forcing her back? FGS - It's normal to work.

Deserve? No woman deserves to be financially kept. In fact we should eschew that dependency
No woman deserves to be financially kept as it implies dependency

I went back to work after mat leave. What’s wrong with that ?

It's completely relevant - the kind of husband he is now isn't going to be massively different to the husband he is once kids are involved

If he doesn't like her staying home now (part time, for her health and wellbeing and for their home) he won't like it when she has kids and needs time to recover and raise their babies

I made the assumption that that's the plan, fair enough

But if she does, a man who is uninterested in providing now will be uninterested in providing then, sorry to say it, the risk is high he'll be forcing her straight back after her mat leave

Op deserves better

Btw,I work full time and cook from scratch. You don’t need to devote yourself full time to food prep like a martyr

No. There is nothing in the OP's posts that says how the housework is currently divided, let alone that she's already 'doing the lion share'.

The best advice my mother (now in her 80’s) was ‘never be financially dependent on a man’.

If you went PT - your pension would be affected.

If you ever split up you would be severely disadvantaged.

Stay independent.

Maybe but OP also wanting to drop to part time so she can clean and make healthy dishes from scratch is entitled and ridiculous.

These are the women who get screwed so bad if the relationship fails because they are so dependent on their husbands financially.

But maybe her husband doesn't want her to stay home and cook from scratch while he carries the financial burden indefinitely? And can you blame him?

There's also nothing in the OP that says she wants kids or that she's even able to have them, so comments about her "carrying children in her body" are totally irrelevant.

By that transactional reductionist rationale he provides sperm and wages,pays utilities,accommodation she’s the incubator who doesn’t financially contribute

She hasn’t said anywhere that she plans on being a stay at home mum in the future. Saying “get out now he will force you to be a working mum” is a bit of a ridiculous thing to say.

Not necessarily. She's not pregnant and there's no guarantee that she'll be able to have children.

If you are aware of how this would put you know the back foot in terms of your earning/progress potential, and you can afford to still pay your share of the bills and support yourself, then it's completely up to you. If this would cost your partner though, no, you're not reasonable to expect him to do this, and you're mad to consider it! You also really need to get to your GP, if you have heavy periods, you might have low iron.

Also, if he's not sharing the cleaning and cooking 50/50, he needs to step up.

Please give me 1 example of a single thing he is “forcing” on her, because there aren’t any in ANY of OP’s posts so you must be a mind reader.

The only thing he expects of her is the same thing any normal person has to do- work!

Not sure I’d have much support to give to a husband who wanted me to support him financially so he could cook us a healthy meal either, and if I posted that I’d be told he’s a cheeky fuck, a cock lodged and to leave immediately

It's fine to want to stay home and 'enjoy life' - it isn't fine to expect someone else to foot the bill.

Wow

I'm with your husband on this. If it turns out you're independently wealthy and could afford your contributions working part-time, then fair enough. Otherwise you're expecting him to fund your lifestyle.

OP, to work part time when you have no kids/caring responsibilities is a luxury.
I think YABU, irrespective of what your husband earns.
I worked FT with a child as a single parent (as many others have/do) and several of my friends who were married with children worked FT too.
Needs must and all that

She'd be contributing by carrying his children in her body and then raising them

Currently, she'd be contributing by taking care of their home and loving him - some women want to stay home and enjoy their life in that way

Edited for clarity

I may have a slightly different view than most because I’ve done similar recently. In my head I felt exhausted and wanted more time to do, well everything, the idea of being able to potter about the house sounded lovely but when I picked it apart I was just burnt out.

We discussed things and I realised that wanted was a change and some “time off” what this looks like for me is a part time job, it’s busy, somewhat physical, pressure in a different way but when I end my shift it’s over, I don’t have to think about it.
It has made a huge difference to my life, my mental health and my relationships but it also has a set time, I’m taking a break and deciding what I’d like to do next, I can also afford to do so and have a supportive DH.

If I were you I’d find out if there was a physical cause for the exhaustion and review your life. Are you having a down period, is it your job, your commute, things in your life, are there things you can change to solve the problem, do you really want to work part time to cook and clean or do you need to change things and give yourself some breathing space to figure it out.

You don't need to cut your working hours to cook meals from scratch either. But why does he feel he can control you? I wouldn't be having it.

What is it that's being forced on her?

The problem is she’s working full time and doing the lion share of the housework too.

Society has fucked women over so much that women think they need to do it all with minimal male help.