Husband doesn’t want me working part time even though we can afford it

The idea of men being “providers” is antiquated nonsense.

Some men do, they like providing

Not all men of course, and it's perfectly valid either way

But she's only gonna work part time and pay for herself so I don't see what the issue is here

OP, since you imply you would like to have children, make it a priority to get your tiredness checked out by your GP.

If you are too tired to work f/t being a parent of a baby and toddler will floor you!

There is much to be said for a fulfilling work / life balance but in the end we do need to support ourselves now, save for the parenting years and have security for our old age. Pre children is very young to be ceasing to invest in future financial security.

There really aren’t many adults who would choose to financially support another adult so that they can make meals from scratch.

Again, big difference once children are involved, but with “I want a man to support me financially so I can cook and clean the house” on your dating profile you’re not going to get many matches! Nobody wants to support another adult to do nothing, raising children is hard work and a very different scenario entirely, but this is just pure laziness and not wanting to work.

If my DH came out with this before we had a kid, it would be a hard no. I would find it unattractive to say the least, as it suggests a lack of motivation. I would feel cheated that I married the wrong man.

If there’s children, this is different (it’s hard balancing it all, we have a small child at the moment!).

Just faffing around the house with no direction or goal in this modern day, except to cook and clean and the other spouse takes on all the financial responsibilities, I think it would take a special kind of person to accept this from their spouse.

Since you're both childless, I think your reasoning is a bit unreasonable. That said, if you're both working full-time, household responsibilities like chores and cooking should be split 50/50 for balance. I work 12.5-hour shifts, and with travel, it's often 15-16-hour days, so I get how exhausting it can be. If work is really affecting you, it might be worth considering a lifestyle change, prioritizing your health, or even exploring a new job.

I agree, it's a shame that women who might want to be at home are forced to work

I also think women who work and raise kids are amazing

But my point was that she should leave him and find a man who wants to be a provider?

And tbh, while she's working now, if this is the life she wants, she should be saving hard, if she hasn't been already

Mothers are actually more likely to be in employment than childless women are - presumably because most households can't support children on a single salary.

There's nothing wrong with being a SAHM, in fact, I'm sure it'd be a good thing if parents generally were able to work less, but it is a luxury that most families don't have.

What a load of shit. “More power to her”, what power exactly? Because it’s certainly not financial power, she’s going to make herself complete dependent on a man who doesn’t want to support her, that’s the opposite of “power to her”🤣 Making yourself reliant on someone who has explicitly said they will not support you is the total opposite of a sane choice.

They're married and she wants to be a part time housewife - completely sane choice and more power to her

Okay. Well lots of mothers don't work and it's a very respectable and fine choice

@mumofoneAlonebutokay no, I wouldn't - I would expect us both to work and contribute equally in terms of finances and care 🤷‍♀️

I also wouldn't be supporting any able bodied adult to faff about cooking from bloody scratch while I went out and worked a full time job, that's for sure.

I was responding to your post stating that many men are happy for their wives to work part time or not at all even if they don’t have children. So my question was are many women just as happy to support their husbands financially when there are no children?

I wasn’t asking about your personal situation at all.

Don't give up full time. If the house chores/cooking etc is too much outsource and pay half each.

Big difference between being going part time/staying at home to raise kids and staying home to cook meals from scratch, if you can’t see that you need to give your head a shake😂

Feel free to look up ONS the statistics from the government. Most mothers work. Fact

Feel free to share the statistics but it's very normal for women not to work after having children and very okay

Maybe, but not in my case, because I actually like cooking, cleaning and looking after my husband and the children. My husband likes being with the children, but being the fun parent not necessarily the one who remembers all the details, and he’s hates cooking and cleaning, though he does the washing up, takes the bins out and puts the petrol in. We’re happy this way and he was happy for me to give up work when we were engaged as I wasn’t interested in a career.

I think you’ll find it is the statistical norm to work. There is very much a norm when it come to this
To suggest otherwise is obtuse

It's normal to do either tbh - not every woman wants to be a working mum and that's okay

Some women prefer to be a working parent, and that's equally okay

There's no normal when it comes to this

She's saying she doesn't feel so good and thinks she will feel better by being at home. And tbh, a stay at home mum would potentially be at home for at least 18 years, or would potentially never return to work. If he is unhappy at being the provider now, that won't change

Would you support your husband if he wanted to be a stay at home dad?

Are many women equally happy to support their husbands to work part time before they have children? If not, why not? Answers on a postcard, please.

Does your DH pull his weight with housework and cooking?

I think it's odd that you want to give up paid work in order to do more unpaid work.

There are many men who would support their wives working part time (or not at all) even before having kids if they could afford it. If the woman is happy to not work and spend her time cleaning, cooking and actually having some time for herself to do as she pleases, this can help contribute towards a more successful career for the man which benefits both. Many people have this set up and for many it’s a much less stressful way of life for both partners. Most men will tell you the thing they value the most is PEACE. The key is that BOTH partners are happy with this arrangement and that no one considers the woman to be a financial burden but actually a supportive partner. Yes, some women may get screwed over in this position so it’s imperative to be upfront and have things in place to ensure this doesn’t happen should the marriage fail. This is achieved with communication from the start. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but that’s the wonderful things about 2024. Many ways to do it, no one should judge what makes another happy if they’re not hurting anyone.