FIL wants to take my 12 week old around to visit neighbours

I obviously did it all wrong but I'd hand my babies to anyone more or less, 30 years ago. They got attention and i got 5 minutes peace. Amazing the kids all survived and i remained sane.

So babies need to stay at home in isolation from the world - I don’t think so.

They toys might be sanitised but the babies and other mums aren’t.

of course in the real world people do take their babies to the supermarket and sometimes even stop and chat to people. Often babies are not in their prams but put in the little baby bassinets on top of the trolleys.

swimming pools are full of people secreting all kinds of body fluids into the water

then of course there are baby changing rooms, cafes, friends, neighbours.

in the real world people don’t behave like MN. It’s called life. Once your PFB is a bit older you will cringe reading these threads.

I am a granny, and a MIL, and I was so excited when our grandchild arrived, but I wouldn’t have dreamt of assuming I could take a 12 week old off to visit a bunch of people who were total strangers to her parents@Rosecoffeecup.

Times seem to have changed since my day. I would have been happy to have a FIL that was so excited about the baby and wanted to show them off.

I was born at home and my Dad was showing me off to all the neighbours the same day. My Mum was a bit put out about that though as she had wanted to be the one to show me off but in those days women would be made to rest for a week after childbirth.

Well no. My GP was making the point that there are different vulnerabilities and those affected should be careful. And that includes babies’ - their immune systems aren’t fully mature for around three months, so exposing a child as young as OP’s to the kinds of bugs presently doing the rounds is an unnecessary risk.

Seriously? If it's outside OK but I would not let him walk in to various people during flu season with a 12 week old baby. Just tell him your GP told you to limit visits during the winter months. He can't argue with that.

Baby groups I go to sanitise the toys between classes because no one wants babies to get sick from their group.
Not many people take a 12 week old to the supermarket and even if you did the baby isn’t touching anything in there or getting close enough to other people because they are in their pram. Swimming, no one touches your baby except you and don’t get close enough others in the class to get their germs. Doubt anyone would get in they weren’t feeling well or their baby was ill anyway.

What does make babies ill is stupid people touching and kissing them and people who don’t wash their hands regularly holding them.

Grandparents insisting there are no germs about and not washing their hands are not normal.

Having cancer treatment is of course obviously a completely different situation

Fit and healthy people including babies normally go out and about in the world and socialise with other humans. Baby groups, relatives, neighbours and even strangers.

No. All the germs and hassle.

I don’t think OP is trying to stop her family bonding with her baby. She just doesn’t want him parading round the neighbourhood in the middle of winter with so many nasty bugs doing the rounds. I really don’t think that’s unreasonable.

It would be a no from me I didn’t want separating from my baby at that age at all it would have made me really anxious
If you want to please them go with them but keep baby in a sling

DS2 got RSV at 16 weeks. We were in hospital, he was on oxygen and ventolin. He was very poorly. Another baby on the ward died from it. Winter germs can be serious in young babies. I would have no problem with friends visiting as long as they are well. I wouldn't pass a baby round the neighbours.

Surely you can do things to mitigate any cold/bugs risk but still let FIL show your baby off?

If it was me I’d say something like

“FIL that’s lovely but I’m a bit worried about all the horrible things that are going around at the moment (you can tell him about xyz you know who have all had norovirus/covid recently and been floored)

How about I put baby in a sling/keep them in the pram whilst we walk around to visit folk so they can see them without me worrying about catching something?”

I understand your worries about the situation but also FIL’s desire to show people his GC too

You're absolutely not being unreasonable. Is he having a laugh?? 😂

God forbid a proud grandparent wants to show off their new grandchild.

I wonder how many of the posters up in arms over this are also the type to complain when family inevitably have no bond with their child or won't do free childcare

My mum would have been very interested.

It's highly unlikely that the neighbours are going to be interested in the slightest. They are probably just being polite.

No, babies at that age are vulnerable to infection.
I was horrified when my 4 month old grandson was hit with bronchiolitis and had to be in hospital on oxygen. Poor little mite.

100%

Totally disagree with this. The parents together should make decisions imo.

Me 3

I’m English. I just am aware of how badly things can go wrong when a baby ends up in intensive care. It isn’t about locking your baby up. It’s about minimising unnecessary risk. And visiting FIL’s random friends and neighbours who she has never met is the definition of “unnecessary”.

I’m having cancer treatment. Was advised to get all of my jabs as my immune system is compromised - GP said there are an unusual number of bugs doing the rounds this year, including a particularly nasty flu bug that has hospitalised people, as well as Covid and RSV. She advised they have been actively advising vulnerable people to get vaccinated and urging new mums to pay special attention to young babies as they’re particularly vulnerable. I wouldn’t call our GP a germophobe. And it’s definitely not a Covid hangover. I’d call it a mothers’ instinct to protect her child. Not to mention not wanting over zealous grandparents playing pass the parcel with a new baby.

Do you people not go to baby groups, the supermarket, swimming etc with your babies or do you just stay at home isolating all the time?

MN germaphobes with PFBs are not normal.