FIL wants to take my 12 week old around to visit neighbours

My in laws did the same when dd was a small baby about 7 months ago, I was fine with it, found it quite sweet tbh! But if you aren't comfortable then you can of course say that.

Just sounds like a separation anxiety phase to me - quite normal and a lot of babies go through this from time to time.

Exhausting, but this too shall pass.

Just say: "That's a lovely idea - let's wait till all these winter bugs have gone."

Will the baby be wrapped in cotton wool untill its 18 years old or just around the inlaws

Will the baby be wrapped in cotton wool untill its 18 years old or just around the inlaws

I think it’s perfectly normal for your baby to want you and not others. They are more aware of their surroundings but still don’t have a sense of self so see you as part of them.
My daughter is now 2 and has gone through stages of being fine to go with other people and then inconsolable if I leave the room!!
The only thing I’d say is that it should come from your husband to say that he won’t be taking him. And your husband needs to be responding to any weird comments. Just because I have been through a similar situation and I’m thought of as over protective mum even though my husband agrees!!!!

I think poster is being a bit dramatic. I agree with you. No big deal, go round with him with baby in the pram if you’re that concerned.

It is an unusual reaction for a 12 week olf but I believe you. I have had 3 children and two were happy to go to anyone whereas the middle one hated being put down or held by anyone other than a parent from a tiny age.

There are 4 horrible viruses going round at the moment and he wants to parade a tiny baby around loads of neighbours houses? Not a chance. Just say no, baby needs to stay with you.

Do you not think it’s a bit different if the parents are there, making the decision about who gets to cuddle the baby, than if they are handing the baby off to FIL to be taken to various different houses for cuddles from people who are complete strangers to the parents and the baby, @Queenofthestonage?

My kids are 27, 29 and 31, and I was a pretty laisser faire parent, but even I would to be happy with what @Charlottef94‘s FIL is suggesting.

Autocorrect did not like laisser faire - it wanted to correct it to laid afire - I would not be happy with my babies being laid afire either!

Me too

I do wonder how babies build up any immunity to germs these days. My 3 were passed around various friends, neighbours, work colleagues for a quick cuddle on numerous occasions. They survived! I loved showing them off and getting a hot cuppa for a change! They are late twenties/early thirties now, I obviously have a lot to learn about how to behave around any future grandchildren!

Your baby, your rules. It’s really that simple and what people think on mumsnet is really totally irrelevant. What does DH think?

This!

Unless baby has underlying health conditions then being breathed on and cuddled is unlikely to harm them!

Honestly, grandparents can't win, they get complained about if they don't get involved/show an interest and then when they try to get involved they're shot down!

There’s a flu epidemic going around at the moment so I wouldn’t want to. I went through similar with mil who was annoyed with me for saying no to an invite to Centreparcs to celebrate her partners birthday. My premature baby was only 6 weeks old at the time and was struggling to establish breast feeding so I was pumping milk round the clock. I had gone through a very traumatic birth and nearly lost my baby due to medical negligence so was very anxious. She didn’t have the guts to confront me herself and instead got my sister in law to send me a horrible text message admonishing me for my selfishness. Basically they wanted me to sit in a bedroom pumping milk in one of the lodge bedrooms while mil got to pass my 6 week old tiny baby around all her relatives. It wasn’t the only incident. I just learned very quickly how to firmly say no.

Hmmm. OP doesn't say he's actually bought it in though. And she needs to convince everyone that what lots of people believe is extreme and worrying PFB anxiety is actually evil FiL story.

Nope. Read OP’s last update. Baby is EBF but FiL has bought in formula because he wants to feed the baby. It’s batshit.

Please tell me this is a joke. Right?

I would watch them to make sure they don’t sneak a bottle of formula in while you aren’t looking.

No way , you never know who these neighbours are , do they smoke , what dogs do they have , anyone ill etc. Not informing you either and just assuming is really annoying. I think you are going to be putting a lot more boundaries down by the sounds of these grandparents

I'd say do what makes you comfortable. Try not to be an arse about it with PIL maybe or it could sour the relationship & you might want offers of babysitting at some point in the future. My FIL had some form for trying to grab my DC as babies from my arms the second I arrived at their house. It did annoy me but they were just over excited - 1st DGC etc. Some GP are just obsessed with babies. My PIL both were. Less interested as the GC got older I found. I had a bit of PFB syndrome I think but also found PIL did not look after them very carefully - always came back injured (scratches/bruises/mild sunburn etc) and my DS aged 18 months had most horrendous nappy rash I've ever seen as they left his overnight nappy on all the next day which pissed me off no end but I never said anything. More than 50% of people I've chatted to/people I know have been poorly this Christmas so I wouldn't be letting half the street actually cuddle/hold my 12 wk old baby personally.

God some of these responses, you'd swear he wanted to sacrifice the baby 😂 I honestly don't see any big deal in it. What is the big deal? Proud grandparents, assuming trusted people in your life? Why wouldn't you let them? You can also go with them surely? Let them have their proud moment, step down from the weird high horse you are sitting on.

I can't see the problem at least he's taking an interest which is more than some PIL. If ur baby was 4 or 5 days old I'd maybe see the issue but not at 4 months old. I'd be more concerned about how clingy your baby sounds but I'm wondering if that's the babies issue or actually you projecting on to it.

I was out with my kids when they were newborns but I didn’t let random people get too close. It’s the kissing and germs close up from the neighbours I’d be concerned about. Cough on the hands, go to the loo and hands unwashed - hold babies hand - flu, colds, covid, gastrointestinal. Family it’s the living environment and then you can say wash hands, cough in elbow etc