I didn’t get any Christmas presents

And he'd be right in saying that.

I didn’t either. It made me feel a bit sad as I’ve honesty had the worst year of my life. Been so many years of my life where I noticed ‘a soldier was down’ and pulled them back up again. Pretty gutted that those soldiers didn’t come back for me. But… I’m going into 2025 with my eyes well and truly open. So there’s my gift right there.

We don't do presents for adults in my family and I love it - it's so much easier for everyone.
I suggest doing the same.

We decided collectively to not buy adults in the family presents a few years ago. We all agreed to it. Maybe you need to have this chat with your family.

TBH - I bloody love it. I get the odd bottle of wine (but that's more of a 'thank you for hosting') or a box of maltesers. It's great

If they didn't "do" presents last time, why did you expect different this time?

Lots of families don't bother with gifts - we don't.

I think if you go in future, and you really don't have to, I'd arrive with some wine/beer/chocolate goodies for everyone to share and that would be my lot.

"If you phrased it slightly differently - ‘the adults in my family don’t exchange Christmas gifts, my parents host a Christmas Eve buffet so we can all celebrate together’ it doesn’t sound weird... My family stopped doing adult presents years ago and I wish DH’s side would do the same!"

This ^.

Neither the adults in my family nor my wife's family give presents to each other.

The OP hasn't explained if this is the "understood" situation in her family, but I suspect it is and she simply hasn't realised it.

To everybody asking why the OP's partner didn't give her a present, the OP hasn't said that they didn't. The OP has only mentioned "... my whole family, parents/siblings etc." I don't think she's included her partner in that or her children - if she has any

You don't owe them gifts next xmas.

They are thoughtless.

Do you buy them gifts?

Is their budget tight so all funds went into the buffet?

Did you contribute anything to the buffet or supply wine etc?

Do you tell everyone "oh, I don't need presents....." then grumble when people take you at face value?

Yes OP! Remember there is always someone worse off, so you should always be a doormat and let everyone walk all over you, and never expect equality or reciprocity from anyone as SOMEONE HAS IT WORSE, so you should have no boundaries ever and just accept whatever crap anyone throws at you because things COULD BE WORSE!

i had a secret Santa from work to open and a bottle of perfume from DH that I chose and nearly bought because he couldn’t remember his card pin. DS bought me a hat, again I chose it. Otherwise nothing. MIL took us all out for a meal as our gift this year.
I haven’t really had many gifts since my SIL joined the family and suggested we only did gifts for the children. At the time there was only her DS and an older niece, so the other two couple were expected to shell out with nothing in return Even when DS was born he rarely received a present , usually a selection box or a £5. Fortunately my side of the family are not tight, although we lost our parents in our 30s so it has just been the 3 of us for years. Unfortunately we lost our youngest sibling a couple of months ago so Christmas has been a non-event this year.
I am getting a new tumble dryer and recently had a ne dishwasher recently which I’m more than happy to be classified as my Christmas present. I have drawers full of lovely jewellery I rarely wear now.
My DH had a stroke a couple of years ago and struggles getting around. He’s never got into online shopping and the cognitive damage he suffered means that he lacks the ability to plan ahead. He made the effort to go out with us on Christmas Eve to buy me perfume. This meant more to me than the gift.
He needs a knee replacement in order to improve his mobility but is reluctant. If he agrees to surgery next year this will mean so much to me because we can start doing stuff together again.
So a new knee for DH would be my wish for next Christmas.
I do a lot on my own and feel guilty not being able to include him. He refuses to use a motability scooter which limits any activity where walking is necessary.

I'm sorry you didn't get any presents
😕 This all depends entirely on the full context which we don't have. If they are long-standing neglectful parents who use this as another excuse to be thoughtless and avoid showing love, and encourage the same lack of care between their children, it's horrible. But if they're otherwise lovely and this has been agreed over the years and everyone knows the situation, then your reaction is strange and the only one at fault is your partner. Who knows? I'm guessing they're crap parents and if so maybe you should consider doing something else for Christmas in future. A small Christmas just with the people you really care for and care for you is absolute bliss, even if that's just two people.

So next time, your gift to them is the pleasure of your company.

I hope your DP got you something.

I’m sorry they treated you this way OP in future I suggest stop buying presents for them.

This year I didn’t get presents from in-laws, actually it’s the first time in 26 years I haven’t received something they know I wouldn’t like/wouldn’t fit or suit me. It’s a relief for me but I know it’s not the same for you OP

How dis that happen? Did you give your family presents. If so I wouldn't bother again.

If you phrased it slightly differently - ‘the adults in my family don’t exchange Christmas gifts, my parents host a Christmas Eve buffet so we can all celebrate together’ it doesn’t sound weird. Just take a bottle of wine and a pudding as a contribution to the buffet, save yourself the stress, don’t buy for any of the adults and get yourself something nice instead. I liked the suggestion on here from someone without a big gift giving circle that they bought and wrapped a few things for themself throughout the year so they did have tree gifts to unwrap.
My family stopped doing adult presents years ago and I wish DH’s side would do the same!

So sorry for you… that’s unkind of them.
So next year treat your family in the same manner. Save your money that you would spend on their gifts and buy gifts for yourself or use the cash saved to go away with your husband for Christmas.

I’m sorry your life has been so difficult. Most families wouldn’t expect the meal to be their Christmas present.

I'm sad for you OP.
Treat yourself to something lovely and don't bother getting them anything next year.dpdnd the money on yourself.

And the gift of a buffet is weird.

Strangest for me is to not get a gift from your partner? Unless it was prearranged and reciprocal?

Hosting a buffet is fine imo as a gift. It's expensive and time consuming, and thus a lovely thing to do as it gets everyone together. If you all take turns hosting, it's not a gift, but if you don't, then it is a gift.

I am grateful to be in a family of great gift givers. I don’t understand why it’s hard work, I genuinely enjoy buying or even making gifts for the people I love. It’s never about the cash value of the gift, it’s about acknowledging the value of the person.

😂

But you are an adult, surely you count your blessings not by the amount of things under the tree? That is why your reaction is normal.

Did they get everyone the buffet for Christmas?