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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you check you can get home?

214 replies

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 08:26

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

OP posts:
FeistyFrankie · 26/12/2024 09:58

Why didn’t someone who was driving offer to give them a lift?

Brainded · 26/12/2024 09:57

Nameychangington · 26/12/2024 09:45

You asked someone from work you'd only met twice to stay over on Christmas day? Blimey.

This! I cannot comprehend this! How did this come about @Ayechinnyreckon you are sounding as odd as your guest to be honest 😅

lillylallylu · 26/12/2024 09:55

have you left them at home then? what's the story with them staying at yours? Are they without family?

Notouchingmybhuna · 26/12/2024 09:55

What an odd situation. Are you a bit of a people pleaser OP?

PuppyMonkey · 26/12/2024 09:55

OP you sound like this strange person staying over at your house on Christmas Day is just one of those things that happens, nothing you can do about it, not your issue. Grin

poemsandwine · 26/12/2024 09:54

BMW6 · 26/12/2024 09:53

Well neither in my world!
I'd be directing them to the nearest Premier Inn.

Show quote history

This! Or a coach station. How is it your problem? I don’t get that.

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:53

MerrilyOnhigh · 26/12/2024 09:47

Have you investigated buses and coaches?

No..I've been busy hosting. I wore this whilst watching the kids in the bath this morning, it's the first space I've had. I'm now on my way to relatives.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 26/12/2024 09:53

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:46

Well what's weirder, leaving them alone in my house or dragging them along to various relatives houses all day?

Show quote history

Well neither in my world!
I'd be directing them to the nearest Premier Inn.

Kendodd · 26/12/2024 09:53

The coaches run, get a coach.

Dancinghedgehog · 26/12/2024 09:52

National express are running today. I’d be dropping them off at the nearest pick up point.

DelphiniumBlue · 26/12/2024 09:52

I think I would drag them round the various relatives houses rather than leaving them alone in my house all day.
Do they seem embarrassed by it all? Could they have engineered this? Either way it’s quite sad really, annoying for you but in a way worse for them .
But I do get you wanting some downtime. I’d be announcing an early night tonight!

Thingamebobwotsit · 26/12/2024 09:51

Are they from overseas? We host relatives, work colleagues and overseas students on and off and have found that train timetables and Boxing Day closures catch a lot of people out - especially if they are used to living in another country that doesn't shut down over Christmas.

It is a pain in the proverbial, but we make it very clear that we can't change our plans and they are happy to join us or stay home. Depends on the person, what they choose to do. Over the years we have learned to keep magazines, leaflets on walking routes, books, WiFi codes and details of the TV schedules etc in the spare room for such guests 😆 Extreme, I know, but once I stop hosting I don't expect to look after them! They have to be self sufficient!

(Oh and edited to add I think it is very kind to host someone you are not familiar with, my guess is they would have been on their own for the day. I am sure the appreciate it and are just as nonplussed as you are!)

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:50

Didimum · 26/12/2024 09:26

How did you think thru we’re getting home, OP? Sounds like you didn’t realise there were no trains on Boxing Day either!

I had assumed trains ran on boxing day, but I never travel by train so didn't really think much of it to be honest.

I work for a fully remote company so my colleagues live around the country. I speak to them everyday and we text outside of work etc. they're also DHs colleague and friend. They live 3+ hours away from us so not seeing them in person isn't that weird.

We didn't have a single family member round yesterday, but did have 5 kids and 6 adults in addition to us!

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 26/12/2024 09:50

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2024 09:43

There was someone who started a thread on here just before Xmas whose flatber was gasted that the trains didn’t run in her area on Christmas Day, let alone Boxing Day.

A couple of contributors seemed to be equally unaware. So yes, people should check, but OP’s guest is not alone in making assumptions.

But that poster seemed unused to travelling by train. As this person came by train they presumably don’t have a car and surely use the trains fairly often. Honestly i think you’d have to have been living under a stone for decades not to realise you have to check the trains over Christmas

Beenaboutabit · 26/12/2024 09:49

I made this mistake years ago. Hosted a big Christmas meal, invited people to stay for Christmas, then neither they nor I realised there were no trains at all on Boxing Day even though I mostly travel by public transport. So, they stayed an extra night when I was ready for winding down. But it can’t be helped and you live and learn. Put it down to experience.

Bookaholic73 · 26/12/2024 09:48

Depending on how far away they live, I’d offer to drive them home.
I’d rather that than them stay another night.

MerrilyOnhigh · 26/12/2024 09:47

Have you investigated buses and coaches?

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:46

rainbowstardrops · 26/12/2024 09:23

Well I'd have checked train times etc, so that bit is weird!
Why are you leaving them for 12 hours today though? Could they not have tagged along with you? I'd feel uneasy about leaving a person I've only met three times in my house alone.

Well what's weirder, leaving them alone in my house or dragging them along to various relatives houses all day?

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 26/12/2024 09:46

I would of thought trains ran on Boxing Day but would obviously check if I was relying on one.

How far away do they live? I think it would be fine to ask them to get a taxi/ book a hotel but would prepare for the friendship to be over as they might not be happy about this.

Shinyandnew1 · 26/12/2024 09:46

I think it’s really odd inviting a colleague who lives far away that you’ve only met three times to come and stay over Xmas!

I certainly wouldn’t be happy about leaving them in my house alone for 12 hours.

Nameychangington · 26/12/2024 09:45

You asked someone from work you'd only met twice to stay over on Christmas day? Blimey.

poemsandwine · 26/12/2024 09:43

How did you end up with someone you're not that good friends with spending Xmas with you?

This is the weird bit. Tell them to get a hotel. Having no common sense is on them.

EDIT: Are you allowing them to stay at your home when you're not there? Did I read that right? I find that really strange, too, when you don't know them well. Does this adult have no idea about how to deal with the world?

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2024 09:43

There was someone who started a thread on here just before Xmas whose flatber was gasted that the trains didn’t run in her area on Christmas Day, let alone Boxing Day.

A couple of contributors seemed to be equally unaware. So yes, people should check, but OP’s guest is not alone in making assumptions.

PinkyFlamingo · 26/12/2024 09:43

How on earth did you invite someone you've only met 3 times for Christmas dinner! Mad

HardenYourHeart · 26/12/2024 09:42

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