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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you check you can get home?

214 replies

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 08:26

A colleague/ friend came over for Christmas. Arrived Christmas eve and was meant to leave today.

They're a pleasant enough person but we aren't good friends so it's not as relaxing as it might be having them around. Before they arrived we agreed they'd come Christmas eve and leave boxing day - explained we already had plans both 24th and 26th for all day visits with family, all was fine.

They arrived Christmas eve and all has been well however when we discussed returning home, they didn't know what time their train was on boxing day (we were working out the best way to get them to the station). So they looked up train times, apparently for the first time since deciding to join us for Christmas! And lo and behold, there's no trains on boxing day.

I'd have thought it was fairly standard to check both sides of a train journey before departure? Now they're hanging around an empty house they don't know all day! Nothing within walking distance is open today so they literally have nothing to do!

Aibu to think you check you can get home before you set off?

OP posts:
Penguinmouse · 26/12/2024 10:57

Three hour journey and they didn’t have tickets in advance or check the times? Mad.

Didimum · 26/12/2024 10:56

YourGladSquid · 26/12/2024 10:53

I don’t understand why people think it’s worth making this person pay for a last minute hotel during peak season for what was probably a very honest mistake

Absolutely. I’d just suck it up, let them know how the TV works and put it down to experience.

FedUpandDownAgain · 26/12/2024 10:56

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:46

Well what's weirder, leaving them alone in my house or dragging them along to various relatives houses all day?

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Find a nearby hotel - premier inn or Travelodge type

Upstartled · 26/12/2024 10:55

Easier to beg for forgiveness than ask permission. They'll have known that there weren't any trains.

Didimum · 26/12/2024 10:55

TitaniasAss · 26/12/2024 10:46

I live rurally too and appreciate the effort guests make to visit us. I also kind of presume that they're capable of arranging how to get home from a place they've travelled to. We've hosted DHs recently bereaved friend since Sunday. He leaves tomorrow and the only thing I've said is to let us know if he needs a lift anywhere.

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I absolutely think they are capable and expect them to, however I do always check because it can be tricky at the best of times, let alone on Boxing Day. Trains running in some capacity is understandable presumption to make unless you’ve tried to travel by train on Boxing Day in the past and found out they don’t run at all.

onehundredpaws · 26/12/2024 10:53

At least you got a dog sitter.

YourGladSquid · 26/12/2024 10:53

I don’t understand why people think it’s worth making this person pay for a last minute hotel during peak season for what was probably a very honest mistake

AsTheLightFades · 26/12/2024 10:51

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 10:40

Probably. But I don't know many hotels that let you check in at 9.30am.

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They could check-in and sit in the lobby and/or restaurant, even if the room wasn't available until the usual check-in time. At least they would be out of your house and you would be able to have the boxing day that you planned!

Dontgetinvolved · 26/12/2024 10:49

I imagine they assumed trains would run today and feel mortified.
They will probably always check trains in future, but not helpful to you today.

onehundredpaws · 26/12/2024 10:46

Genevieva · 26/12/2024 10:12

There should be a rail replacement service. Is there a bus service? I think, get them to pack and work it out yourself. Even if it’s a 10 hour journey with multiple changes, they need to leave.

What a weird reaction.

TitaniasAss · 26/12/2024 10:46

Didimum · 26/12/2024 10:34

I didn’t say she should have organised it their journey or that’s she’s responsible for it. But OP did think trains were running so it’s an understandable assumption to make.

Yes, when I have guests I make sure they have a safe and reasonable journey home as I care about their travel to and from my home. I live rurally and I appreciate the journey they’ve made.

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I live rurally too and appreciate the effort guests make to visit us. I also kind of presume that they're capable of arranging how to get home from a place they've travelled to. We've hosted DHs recently bereaved friend since Sunday. He leaves tomorrow and the only thing I've said is to let us know if he needs a lift anywhere.

onehundredpaws · 26/12/2024 10:44

YourGladSquid · 26/12/2024 10:37

@Genevieva Even if it’s a 10 hour journey with multiple changes, they need to leave.

lmao this is so unhinged

It really is.

JoannaGroats · 26/12/2024 10:42

Yanbu to expect them to know this, but it's common knowledge to absolutely everyone without a car who doesn't always just sit at home alone all Christmas that there are never any trains on boxing day and never have been.

But as I and others have pointed out on this thread, that simply isn’t true.

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 10:40

AsTheLightFades · 26/12/2024 10:38

Couldn't you take them to a hotel?

Probably. But I don't know many hotels that let you check in at 9.30am.

OP posts:
AsTheLightFades · 26/12/2024 10:38

Couldn't you take them to a hotel?

YourGladSquid · 26/12/2024 10:37

@Genevieva Even if it’s a 10 hour journey with multiple changes, they need to leave.

lmao this is so unhinged

Didimum · 26/12/2024 10:34

TitaniasAss · 26/12/2024 10:16

It's not really the OPs responsibility to sort out their journey, I wouldn't expect to organise a guests journey for them. Do you expect hosts to do that for you whenever you go somewhere? Why wouldn't you do it yourself?

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I didn’t say she should have organised it their journey or that’s she’s responsible for it. But OP did think trains were running so it’s an understandable assumption to make.

Yes, when I have guests I make sure they have a safe and reasonable journey home as I care about their travel to and from my home. I live rurally and I appreciate the journey they’ve made.

CruCru · 26/12/2024 10:33

Dogsintheyard · 26/12/2024 10:19

You’re lovely OP. And I completely get the ‘wanting to be prepared in my head’ part. Anyway, you get someone to sit with / walk the dog! There’s a positive…

I agree.

Didimum · 26/12/2024 10:30

Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 09:50

I had assumed trains ran on boxing day, but I never travel by train so didn't really think much of it to be honest.

I work for a fully remote company so my colleagues live around the country. I speak to them everyday and we text outside of work etc. they're also DHs colleague and friend. They live 3+ hours away from us so not seeing them in person isn't that weird.

We didn't have a single family member round yesterday, but did have 5 kids and 6 adults in addition to us!

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Sounds like a reasonable assumption to have made then if you did too.

Opentooffers · 26/12/2024 10:29

A bit odd to think " oh well, no trains, so that's that". Without looking at national coaches & bus options next.
It does also seem like this person probably knew all along as anyone would check, but was afraid to ask if another day would be an option for fear of you saying no. Embarrassed and shy, combined with not wanting to be alone at Christmas I should think. Some people who wfh, do so as it suits their personality- are a tad odd with their social skills ( some, not all, before someone jumps down my throat).

Didimum · 26/12/2024 10:29

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

You wouldn’t continue a friendship with someone who didn’t realise there weren’t trains on Boxing Day 😂 OK.

I didn’t say it was OP’s responsibility. I said if OP didn’t realise there weren’t trains were, then it’s not an unreasonable assumption for her guests to have also made.

Coaches are not typical and OP says there are no taxis, so it’s its normal to enquire how your guests are travelling home – expected even. I would have definitely checked that they had travel back home sorted as I would care about one of my guests.

Original poster
Ayechinnyreckon · 26/12/2024 10:28

No, I don't massively mind. Had they told me they couldn't get home until the 27th I'd have been absolutely fine with that, but would have made plans with family tomorrow instead and gone for a country walk or such today instead.

I just find it really odd that a person wouldn't check both ends of the journey! I genuinely don't think they did it deliberately because of how I invited them - it was a "let me know when you'll be going home so I can plan" and they then told me Xmas eve to boxing day a bit later ( I assumed they checked!).

OP posts:
LardoBurrows · 26/12/2024 10:26

You and your DH sound like a kind and fairly chilled couple and the visitor sounds like a considerate and grateful guest. Yes, the guest should have checked and made sure of their return travel plans, but it sounds as though they will be fine on their own and will certainly not be turning the place over like some have suggested, they might even run the hoover round for you.

godmum56 · 26/12/2024 10:26

I sould never have left strangers alone with my dog. I have loads of online friends but I don't fell that they are friends I would entrust mt dog to.

Choux · 26/12/2024 10:23

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 26/12/2024 10:00

Is it just me who thinks they probably did check but realised it meant they wouldn’t have been able to come, so it’s kept quiet?

Yanbu, we are out seeing more family today which will be lovely, but also can’t wait to come home, get DC in bed and open a bottle of wine with DH in peace. No hosting.

Yes I suspect they realised when booking their ticket as you would select a return on the app and it would ask you when you wanted to come back and tell you there were no trains that day.

OP says the person is supposed to be working tomorrow too so they will probably not get home and online for a 9am start. Another reason to keep quiet and pretend you just hadn't realised there were no trains today.

It does sound like they were a lovely guest though and OP doesn't mind too much them staying till tomorrow.

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