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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

342 replies

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:12

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

OP posts:
YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:22

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BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 11:20

I am not peculiar at all. The people who focus on fucking cooking instructions when it is abundantly clear that the OP has much bigger issues on her plate are just rather spectacularly missing the point.

And you are extremely rude.

YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:18

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Nanny0gg · 26/12/2024 11:18

Tel12 · 26/12/2024 06:12

It was cheap and you get what you pay for. However it doesn't excuse your husband's response. Tell him it's his turn next year.

Next year?

If that's his general attitude he can find somewhere else to eat his Christmas dinner.

YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:17

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YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:15

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DarkDarkNight · 26/12/2024 11:14

What a fucking arse, you managed to pull a whole Christmas dinner together while also supervising 2 small children and trying to be there while they opened presents and played with their toys. He should have said oh well the beef isn’t great but the turkey was delicious. As you l said it was an extra to go with the turkey, not the only meat.

Humiliating you in front of family was dickhead behaviour. I’m sure he’ll do a better job when he cooks the whole dinner while looking after the kids next year 🫠

Im not much of a cook but know some people put beef in the slow cooker. Any time I’ve attempted it in the oven it’s been tough so you’re not alone.

SunriseCat · 26/12/2024 11:13

BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 11:12

and again the point is...

nup, can't be bothered.

How is it that so many posters are focusing on the beef cooking specifics 🤦🏻‍♀️

BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 11:12

and again the point is...

nup, can't be bothered.

Quitelikeit · 26/12/2024 11:12

You needed a slow cooker and in that for 6 hours

BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 11:12

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and again the point is not that she did not google. The point is her husband is a misogynistic arse.

(I'm going to cut and paste this so I can post every time someone says something about how she failed at doing everything and being everything)

Twiglets1 · 26/12/2024 11:08

Itsalwaysfools · 26/12/2024 08:18

Goodness, what a terrible consequence for this poor man....

I mean personally I wouldn’t put up with shit like that from anyone but I doubt OP is about to LTB so I’m not gonna bother suggesting it.

YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:07

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WeregoingtoIbiza · 26/12/2024 11:01

For those struggling to cook beef, my best joints have been cooked in the air fryer.

For a roasting joint just over 1kgs, put the grill for 20 mins then add the beef. Cook on grill for 25 minutes then leave to rest in the air fryer for 25 minutes without opening.

We had a Tesco roasting joint and this method has never let me down.

That aside, your DH should be more appreciative of all your hard work. Let him cook next time to see how difficult it is to do such a big dinner.

Tortielady · 26/12/2024 10:57

He's a miserable ingrate @TuffasOldBoots . Tell him that you are not his mother, nor are you Delia Smith and you are not running the kitchens at The Ivy and if he wants something different to what's on offer in future, he can buy and cook it himself. Next year, do something pre-made for yourself and your DC (eg. M&S have lovely little goat's cheese tartlets) and let your DH fend for himself.

beetr00 · 26/12/2024 10:56

not the point of your thread @TuffasOldBoots but Tesco customer services are excellent.

Leave a message on their whatsapp?

Message Little Helper, our virtual assistant anytime. Or try our team during opening hours.
WhatsApp 0800 917 7403

BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 10:55

But the issue isn't that she did not google. The issue is that he left her to do everything and then fucking moaned- including to his parents. Like she was a housemaid who fell short.

m00rfarm · 26/12/2024 10:54

He was rude. However, why did you not google it if the instructions did not come on the beef itself? Or even ask someone on here?

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 26/12/2024 10:52

ChiliFiend · 26/12/2024 10:01

I agree with other people re not doing Christmas dinner again but the reality is you won't do that, and that's what's so frustrating about so many stories on Mumsnet and everywhere else - women working themselves to the bone and being taken completely for granted, when all it would have taken to make you feel good is well-deserved compliments about the meal and how much work you've put in. Can we all stop raising sons to be like the husband in this story? As for your husband, I wouldn't cook beef for him again, ever - and if he requests it say "sorry, I decided to stop cooking beef the Christmas you made such a big deal of me overcooking it and ignored the hours of work I put into the meal in general." Twat.

Can we all stop raising sons to be like the husband in this story?

No we can't, not when the husband is raising them to sneer along with him at their mother's efforts. Children learn how men view women from their fathers. Who else?

Small beef joints are difficult to cook and I wouldn't have bothered with one at all. OP your husband is a selfish, ungrateful utter arse, and he is raising your children to demean you.

OChristmasTreeHowLovelyAreYee · 26/12/2024 10:51

Sorry, wrong thread

Suffolker · 26/12/2024 10:49

You need to tell him that he upset you yesterday and explain why, and if he values you and your feelings he should apologise. If he doesn’t, I would question why you are with someone who cares so little about your feelings.

Blanketssese · 26/12/2024 10:47

Souds like you are married to an ignorant unappreciative pig.

Stop doing anything for him.
Stop cooking any food he likes.
Stop buying any food he likes .
Stop doing his laundry.

Thats how you deal with unappreciative people.

LushLemonTart · 26/12/2024 10:47

https://www.slowcookerclub.com/slow-cooker-roast-beef/

Dh is a twat. But if ever you want to try again this is fantastic. I put this on before work yesterday and left it for dh to sort. Did it all on low. He did a big chicken and everything else too but everyone said this was the star.

Slow Cooker Roast Beef

Roast dinner is a dish that the British do better than anyone else on the planet. This Slow Cooker Roast Beef can't be beaten for convenience or taste!

https://www.slowcookerclub.com/slow-cooker-roast-beef

Tortielady · 26/12/2024 10:46

binkie163 · 26/12/2024 08:54

I am not a big meat eater, so I am in charge of aunt Bessie frozen roast potatoes &Yorkshire pudding 😀 broccoli, parsnips & carrots, zero time or stress. Himself is responsible for the meat and gravy, tbh I will happily eat just a plate of veg and gravy. It's worked for 30 years.
Asda mince pies, Xmas pudding and brandy butter. I have never been that bothered about roasts, I don't cook them. If we want Sunday lunch we eat out.
I remember my mum spending days of prepping....no thanks.

We had Aunt Bessie's roast potatoes with our veggie pies (DH is a vegetarian) roast parsnips, carrots etc and latkes (it's Chanukah as well.) They are very nice and I'd definitely have them again. And Sunday lunch? We love it and like to go out for it, especially with other people. But it's a lot of faff to do yourself.

RobertaFirmino · 26/12/2024 10:42

I bought one of those Clubcard joints two weeks ago. Red label on the front, proclaiming it to be a 'roasting joint'. It was silverside which really is pants when roasted. Like others here, I used the slow cooker but the meat was still stringy. Definitely the joint, not you.

Your husband needs to learn that when someone has been kind enough to cook a meal for you, the correct response is 'thank you'.