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AIBU?

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DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

342 replies

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:12

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

OP posts:
Nogaxeh · 27/12/2024 08:49

I did ask my mother-in-law for advice on cooking our ham, like you I rarely cook meat, and it turned out wonderful, so I would take your MIL's advice.

Your DH shouldn't have been criticising you like that to his family though. He could have concentrated on how tasty the rest of it was. It wasn't kind of him, was it?

crumblingschools · 27/12/2024 08:48

How many were you cooking for? What joint of beef was it?

Fraaances · 27/12/2024 08:44

Holy shit… Bloke here… Why does that require kindness?
Your DH is aggressive, unkind, self-absorbed and nasty. Why remain? Don’t you think your kids deserve better?

Itsalwaysfools · 27/12/2024 07:29

Thameslock · 26/12/2024 12:48

Bloke here so try to be kind, He has you,he has your children he has a home and a job, he needs to realise how lucky he is to have those things, some of which are absolutely priceless! Show him this post and let him have a think about how he would feel if he had none of that, and the love that goes with it..

Really bad advice. Never show an abusive man that you've publicly written about him and he's been roundly criticised online. It's highly unlikely to make him realise the error of his ways and more likely to make him snap. Same with counselling. Never go to joint counselling with an abusive man.

Thameslock · 26/12/2024 12:48

Bloke here so try to be kind, He has you,he has your children he has a home and a job, he needs to realise how lucky he is to have those things, some of which are absolutely priceless! Show him this post and let him have a think about how he would feel if he had none of that, and the love that goes with it..

Greyrockin · 26/12/2024 12:40

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I dont think you can name change on threads, MNHQ stopped people being able to do so to prevent sock-puppets

Whatslife · 26/12/2024 12:37

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 11:32

Huh?? 🤔 That wasn’t me?? Link to thread please!

I see what has happened. It's all my fault. I commented on this thread by accident and couldn't find how to delete so wrote same thing on my thread as that's where it was meant to be.

We are two different people!

Tink3rbell30 · 26/12/2024 12:33

What you allow will continue.

FarmGirl78 · 26/12/2024 12:32

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Calm down Poirot! Name change fails aren't possible any more. That's clearly the other OP accidentally posting in the wrong thread, realising, and then pasting the post onto the correct thread. The style of writing is just too different regardless. Stop giving OP a hard time.

pelargoniums · 26/12/2024 12:27

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 26/12/2024 12:08

Why does having your children mean you couldn't go out to get a turkey?

Lots of reasons: they might only have one car, which was at work with the DH so she couldn’t get the kids to the shops with her. Or no car and turkey too big for a pram/to carry alongside a toddler/while wrangling kids. Or it was possible but not top of the list of preferences: I had to do a brief Christmas festive shop with two children and frankly needed sectioning afterwards, the supermarkets are bedlam and the kids are frenzied. None of which would change the outcome that her DH is a rude sod.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 26/12/2024 12:25

I am still only on the 1st page, but

I just converted the weight into pounds and ounces - as i am older :)
it's almost 3lbs

so i would have suggested 30 mins a pound plus 30 mins extra so 2 hours for well done

for less ' well done ' I would have said 20/25 mins per pound so maybe 90 mins in total

but beef is so difficult to cook for other people's taste as i like mine very well done !

However it's the cut of the beef that matters most, and I wonder if the supermarket sold it as a beef joint

rather than a rib or sirloin or topside

thus I reckon it was the meat and not you at all !

Couldyounot · 26/12/2024 12:17

onwardsup4 · 26/12/2024 11:52

Maybe the OP of the other thread posted on this by accident ?

This is the more likely explanation

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 26/12/2024 12:08

Why does having your children mean you couldn't go out to get a turkey?

excelledyourself · 26/12/2024 12:03

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Please do. You're awful.

JudgeJ · 26/12/2024 12:02

BoxOfCats · 26/12/2024 05:26

Tell him he's in charge of cooking Christmas dinner next year!

While she goes out to work until 2pm on Christmas Day maybe.

YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 12:01

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BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 12:01

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You are sounding a bit unhealthily obsessed now tbh.

BugsyMaroon · 26/12/2024 12:00

It's impossible to have name change fails on MN nowadays on the same thread using the same registration. Every post defaults back to the one you posted with. Unless you have a number of different registrations / windows up and are posting simultaneously.

Which seems like hard work.

YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:59

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Cotonsugar · 26/12/2024 11:59

He was probably cross at himself for telling you to guess the timing of the beef and was then taking it out on you. He was being totally unreasonable in mentioning it over and over and in front of his parents. I would have told him to shut up at some point. I’ve found it hard to cook a beef joint in the past even following instructions from famous cooks, so it’s not your fault.

YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:59

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excelledyourself · 26/12/2024 11:58

And I thought you couldn't name change on a thread now?

My app tells me "You can only post under one username on a thread" above every post I go to write.

YourAzureHiker · 26/12/2024 11:57

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Slawbans · 26/12/2024 11:57

Tell him new year is coming up and it’s his chance to show everyone how it’s done . Tell him what you want him to cook. Then go to the gym and leave him with the kids.

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 11:55

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Umm. Nope! The other poster is off to visit her poorly mum in hospital today - mine is on her way to my house as we speak. Not much more I can say to convince you it’s not me!

OP posts:
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