DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

It varies based on the weight. Didn’t the pack have cooking times? It usually does

Tell him that he’s most welcome to cook next year. Beef is better cooked medium, google would have been your best bet rather than a guess. But he didn’t need to be so rude. My ex was like that. I was raised to be polite even if I didn’t like it

Obviously next year you won’t be cooking a roast beef for him.
Well done on holding it all together, keeping your children happy AND producing a lovely Christmas lunch whilst your DH was at work. I wouldn’t have been able to do all that! I presume DH is on cooking duty today whilst you eat chocolate!x

Because if you choose to cook meat, you, at the very least, respect the animal that was killed for you & cook it properly so it's not wasted. No way would I be cooking it (also vegetarian) but there are unlimited instructions how to do so properly)

@TuffasOldBoots

why did you cook both turkey & beef?? Extra stress you didn't need.

hes a git though & fucking rude.

tell him he's on cooking a full on Roast (or meal if your choice) & minding the children on New Years Day while you're OUT, so it's ready for you coming home.

Even then he'd be getting off lightly as the kids won't be hyped up for Christmas with new toys to assemble & be helped with. I'd put some away to get out new years day!!

He’s an absolute arsehole, OP. He can’t help needing to work on Christmas Day leaving it all to you, but he can help: adding beef to the mix, being unhelpful with timings, being unhelpful once home (why is he stuffing chocolate in his face instead of laying the table/wrangling children/taking it upon himself to figure out where the cutlery is, being rude, reporting to his family that the beef wasn’t good, complaining, literally every aspect of his terrible behaviour.

What are his good points? Because for contrast, I did the Christmas dinner in our house, bodged some things because some things always get bodged – it’s 12 dishes!, dropped the roulade for pudding so we all called it a Splat!, the pastry for my lemon tart came away from the filling, potatoes weren’t as crispy as I’d have liked, etc. All DP has done has been full of praise, gratitude, clearing up, child wrangling, coming back for second helpings.

And tbh, even if your dinner was like an old shoe, I’d expect kindness because Christmas dinner is a ballache; even more so when you’re doing it solo with small children and presents and excitement and building toys and laying the table. Next year, sack him off – cook what you want, pizza or fish finger chips if you cba with the full production which is wasted on small kids anyway, definitely don’t do beef, and for his Christmas present buy him a guide to manners and etiquette.

Impressed (for you) that he's still drawing oxygen! I realise it was the years ago but your entitled Little Lordling has infuriated me on your behalf!

What an arse.

I cook Christmas dinner every year, and if DH or any of my guests/dc spoke about it like that it would be the last time I did it.

They suffer this year having an ungrateful dad complaing of the food...

Tbh I would reconsider my marriage if my husband acted like OP's.

You’re married, he’s whingeing- tell him off!

If you feel embarrassed he mentioned in front of his family….then you say in front of everyone that’s he’s in charge next year and say to the MIL that she can teach her DS his to cook beef

It’s not a big deal and can be done in a jokey way. There’s no point in being upset about it. If he mentions it again, then say yes, I’m an awful cook and can’t budget, so that’s I’m cooking a veggie menu next year.

Dont get upset about it, put him in his place and move on. Don’t let it drag on.

I have great friends. I could visit one or two of them.
Go to work. They would love to see me! Always a shift to cover. Never enough staff.
Book myself a nice hotel and relax with sushi.
Go the local Christmas marked for hours meating friends. Lots of people go.
Help out at the church preparing Christingle and services for Christmas. Members of the congregation are always welcome to do that.

Really a non issue.

DH totally out of order. I know what I’d be doing next year. And cooking beef as an extra when vegetarian yourself never would I bother again. Regarding the beef, I see it was from Tesco the instructions on how to cook it (whether you want it rare, medium or well done) is on the sticky label you have to peel it off. Even following those instructions if the beef isn’t great it’ll still be tough.

It's embarrassing when something goes wrong but we are usually oir worst critic, not our loved ones. One comment from u re toughness should have been met with something encouraging from him. He should not have made a fuss. When the festivities are over, have a discussion with him about this. Divide tasks nxt year. It should all be on you.

Your choice.

I have 2,5 weeks Chistmas holidays with our children this year so I wouldn't miss out on a lot.
If my husband was a PITA over cooking beef I would happily leave him in charge next year. He would learn to be a bit more grateful I think.

Agree with PP - it’s irrelevant how long OP should have cooked the beef or whether she was cooking too much. It’s her husband’s attitude that was the problem.

And ask her why she hadn’t taught her son how to cook beef?

OP he was being a pain, but part of the problem is you trying to do more than is humanly possible or indeed necessary. No need for both turkey and beef; unrealistic to cook all of that in a small oven; impossible to be the sole child carer and produce a complicated meal at the same time. If your partner can’t or won’t share child care and domestic jobs you need to cut right down what you take on.

He is rude and entitled. Deliberately humiliating you like that when he did absolutely fuck all to contribute to Christmas is not at all cool. I can’t imagine you feel loved or respected or much at all like a partner right now. I would probably go scorched earth on him.

Sometimes the universe sends you a sign that you need to do something different next year. This is your sign 😊

In 2025 if husband is working Xmas morning you eat nice posh m&s bits for Xmas lunch which take 30mins in the oven to heat, you spend the rest of the day playing with the kids. If he wants a roast he cooks it in the evening. If he isn’t working he cooks it in the day.

If he’s unhappy with either of those opinions he sorts an alternative but the alternative can’t be you cooking because you’re too upset and embarrassed about this year.

THIS! How you did/didn't cook the beef is one thing. Your real issue is that your DH speaks to you like that and gets your DC to laugh along too.

Beef joints are tricky, especially small ones. After many failures and the purchase of a meat thermometer, I have at last worked out how to cook them just the way I like them, but I still have no success with the ones from Tesco, even the ones that claim to be for roasting.
I can just about understand saying 'the beef was a bit leathery' in an unguarded moment, but it should have been immediately followed by 'but the rest was superb and you did an amazing job single handed'.

Tell him that in future you will only be cooking vegetarian. As he is such an expert on meat cooking, he can do the rest.

Make it very very very clear to him that next year he is doing all the shopping / prep and cooking for Christmas dinner. your effort was obviously was NOT appreciated and he obviously feels he can do much better do crack on.

we’ve all had cooking disasters and after a while we can laugh at ourselves about them, but to belittle your whole effort over one item he chose is horrible.

Don’t let him put you down like this - if he brings it up again I would also firmly say ‘I tried my hardest to make Christmas morning fun for the children and to make us a lovely dinner. Fixating on the one part that didn’t go exactly to plan is just so mean and you’re really upsetting me with your comments ’ - leave that thought hanging in the air.

some men think it’s just ‘ joking’ and ‘ banter’ to comment like this - put putting others down in this way is really spiteful and mean.

hope you have a nicer day today .